Anyone had success in reducing alimony/child support?

sicrm · 2022-01-08T02:43:03+00:00

most likely scenario is you either keep the deal you have now or it gets worse.

random_topix · 2022-01-08T02:32:46+00:00

I don’t think who she’s dating would matter. Should she get married, however, then than that would be different. My contract had a clause that spousal support ends if she gets married. Child support is a lot trickier, but in my state after two years you could reevaluate. My kids are all turning 18 and not living with her so it doesn’t matter.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2022-01-08T02:48:50+00:00

Alimony - Read your alimony agreement. Most of them are unmodifiable

Child support - can be modified, about every 2 years where I live based on change in circumstances

Circumstances include: 1. Change in custody/parenting time 2. Change in either parties income

Who she is dating doesn’t matter. Spite is not the hill to die on

bacon-wrapped-steak · 2022-01-08T01:51:14+00:00

To be totally honest with you, you are better off just ignoring it. Unless you enjoy rattling nests of wasps, just stay under the radar.

It's bullshit, but ... welcome to our fucked up country.

Bipolar_investor · 2022-01-08T03:02:54+00:00

There are reasons that defacto entitle you to.

If you have another child
If you experience loss in income, you file immediately
If your ex wife remarries, or if you see her income increases substantially.

Otherwise, just continue holding on your second mortgage payment that support is, at least you don't have to pay property tax for having kids 😂

HelixFish · 2022-01-08T04:42:33+00:00

How long were you married? How long are you supposed to pay? Forever? Post settlement I bought out my spousal support obligation. I was going to have to pay forever.

SpacemanLost · 2022-01-08T04:45:28+00:00

First off - I agree with other commenters in that you probably don't want to stir up that hornet's nest.

Secondly, or zeroith if you prefer, her boyfriend's income doesn't matter to the courts.

It's really common for a women receiving alimony to just live with their new man until the alimony ends. They don't see any reason cut off the supply of free money, even if their new guy is a $Billionaire (they wish). Conversely, they won't remarry until the alimony stops.

Child Support is a different deal - you need to 1) know what is in your divorce decree backwards and forwards, and 2) know the rules of the state you are equally as well.

This is so that you will know when you might actually want to attempt a modification, or when you want to keep quiet so that your ex doesn't realize that she could file for a modification and get more.

The criteria for modification will vary from state to state; typically there is a threshold of change in income that has to be met before you can file. i.e. you get a 1% raise and are bringing home $30 a month more is too little for state to bother with, and they don't want legions of custodial parents clogging up the courts demanding their additional slice of a tiny amount just because they want to stick it to you every chance they get. There also may be caps on the amount of income that can be used for support. In Texas for example I think the cap is $9500 a month. If you're making $10,000 a month and get a raise to $12,000 month there, your ex can't take you back to court for more - she's already at the maximum.

There's also thresholds for parenting time changes - know those, and how to prove them. Also know if you have to file for hearing to end support when they turn 18 - many times it is not automatic. The state governments are incentivized with federal money to collect as much child support as they can.

Remember that you ex's income usually matters as well, and that she may come after you for your Tax returns each year just to get intel to see if she can get more out of you.

My recommendation is to have very limited communication with your ex, but when you do, let it slip to her to give the impression that things are not going so well for you financially. Don't let her find out about a promotion, or other event that might make her believe you have more money than before, which means she could run to the courts to re-evaluate and cause you expense and headache. Many times an ex will believe that you suddenly have more money when you don't and no amount of convincing her otherwise with actual facts will work.

mehmench · 2022-01-08T07:16:14+00:00

It depends on where you live. In California any change in circumstances can have an affect on both child and spousal support.

Now you can't quit your job and expect to pay less.

If she's a stay at home mom with her new partner and they aren't married - even in California cohabitation can impact spousal support. If she weren't working then it might be possible to count her partner's income if he's supporting her, especially if he is wealthy.

If you have had a change in income that is lower by reasons outside of your control, especially during the pandemic a modification may actually be possible. You can make a request for her tax statements, in CA there is a standard form and you are entitled to her income information. She can try to withhold it but if a court date ends up getting set she would likely lose and you could ask for attorney's fees.

The big thing is that you need a change in circumstance, new job, new income on either side meets, lost job, etc. The sooner you file the better because the filing date is what determines how retroactive the order can be. If you've been paying too much for years and you never filed for a change then it won't be retroactive until when you actually filed.

It can be a battle but if there is a legitimate change in circumstances then, at least in California, you can get a modification. I am finalizing a modification just a few months after finalizing the divorce. My ex got a new job just before we finalized but then her attorney wouldn't agree to making it retroactive to when she got the new job - I had to negotiate that and a bunch of other bits but I did get a reduction (it's pending the final paperwork to be processed but they have agreed to a retroactivity date that is last year).

AirSailer · 2022-01-08T16:26:10+00:00

How much money are we talking about?

derelictherds · 2022-01-08T23:37:10+00:00

Depends on alimony law in your state and/or the verbiage in your settlement agreement. I can terminate alimony if my ex remarries or cohabitates and can reduce it if my income decreases by 15% or more.

Title	Anyone had success in reducing alimony/child support?
Author	CaliBoundDad2015
Upvotes	14
Comments	16
Date	January 8, 2022 1:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ryo7f9/anyone_had_success_in_reducing_alimonychild/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-had-success-in-reducing-alimonychild.1094050 https://theredarchive.com/post/1094050

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