Tell a man you’re waiting for marriage or no?

TheTwincessMaker · 2022-01-30T16:59:03+00:00

What's your reason for waiting? If it's faith-based, you should be upfront about it and seek a man who appreciates it. Being "unequally yoked" doesn't get a lot of mention anymore, but if you're devout enough to save yourself for marriage, you should find someone who feels the same way

m_owom · 2022-01-30T17:05:44+00:00

I think you should be very upfront about it. If you like each other and after the initial few dates decide to continue dating, that would be a good time to tell him. You have to be on the same level when it comes to sex, not every guy will want to wait and will expect sex in the dating stage. Nothing wrong with that, it's just a matter of compatibility.

Zestyclose-Role2744 · 2022-01-30T16:46:57+00:00

I think it’s a good idea telling them, you don’t owe them that, but I’m sure they would want to know your view on that

The-RPA-Guy · 2022-01-30T18:24:11+00:00

I put a very high premium on honesty and being straight forward - but I know not everyone is like that.

That’s said I think it’s best your honest and say it up front. Within the first 2 weeks for certain.

From my perspective the only reason you wouldn’t be upfront is fear. If you KNEW you didn’t want kids, is that something you’d hide until you knew the person was emotionally invested or would you say it upfront and allow that person to decide if they want to continue thing with you? How is this any different?

I understand it’s likely going to run quite a few men off initially but to me it’s better you are upfront about it so that you don’t waste time for the sake of companionship.

Strixt · 2022-01-30T17:43:45+00:00

Being a virgin is not a big deal. Nothing wrong with making healthy choices for your mind, body and spirituality. There have been enough articles written about millennials losing their virginity later than their parents and now it appears gen z is possibly losing it on average later than millennials.

Again nothing wrong with waiting until marriage to have sex. You should be up front with him about it though. It’d be best not to withhold or not discuss your plans. It is important to lay out your expectations and wants.

Being vague would lead to pushing men away. Imagine a man taking you on 3 months of dating and thinking he is going to reach home base. You then tell him 3 months in your plan for waiting for marriage. He would not only be surprised, possibly hurt, potentially feel bamboozled, and of course be sexually frustrated. Being vague will lose you any good man. They’ll think you are leading them on and playing games.

Dating leads to sex in this day an age. Three generations ago what you want was more common. I wish it was still that common or more. If a man sees most men having sex with the girl they love within 1-6 months of dating. And you spring it on him at the 3+ month mark. Don’t be surprised if he feels you are a liar and leaves you.

The equivalent would be a man leading you on that he wants kids. Marries you, then tells you he doesn’t want kids. Then he turns around and says. Well I didn’t feel I owed you that information. I am sure you’d be hurt if you’d wanted kids.

I don’t really understand this need to withhold information from the one you are trying to spend the rest of your life with. Seems counterproductive.

Lastly if you want a good chance of no sex before marriage. Never toying with a man is important. All dates are in public. Never being alone for too long. Never Netflix and chilling. Generally important to never wind yourself up in a position that could put you at odds with saving yourself.

Lepidopterous_X · 2022-01-31T00:02:06+00:00

Just make sure to mention it within the first few dates. There are plenty of guys out there, so you don’t need to put out to keep them. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and your preferences. If he doesn’t, then you’re both wasting your time right?

takewealth · 2022-01-31T09:23:32+00:00

Be entirely up front

Because they’re gonna find out anyway

lowerbackpain2208 · 2022-01-31T12:18:35+00:00

Please be upfront. The ones that run are weeding themselves out.

nastyabusivedaddy · 2022-01-31T15:53:48+00:00

Being upfront with one's intentions immediately always produces the best results, in the long run.

Being upfront in the short term sucks; its awkward and often leads to disappointment.

Long term though? It results in you finding exactly what you were looking for, because you stood on your laurels and refused to settle.

Say you want to wait on the first date, or even prior to setting the first date up. Yeah, you'll get a lot of people that cancel dates. But that's the point. Why waste your time on a fuckboy when you don't want a fuckboy?

Be happy that dates cancelled because they want sex, now you can move on to the next suitor, and you are one step closer to your goal! Always be direct, always. Let it be awkward now, so it isn't unbearable in the future.

Regards.

Any_Championship_654 · 2022-01-30T20:31:27+00:00

Be upfront. Men will only feel like you're playing them if you fucked 10 guys beforehand but now you're suddenly waiting for marriage. If you're genuinely a virgin, like minded men will he willing to wait.

boom-boom-betty · 2022-01-30T19:24:51+00:00

It’s definitely a good move to tell them you’re staying fresh for your husband. They will respect it or they can move along. The right one will 100% happen for you. Just as long as you are not holding onto the wrong man. Drop the ones who don’t fit, make yourself available to the one that is meant to be.

YourBoyPet · 2022-02-02T05:51:23+00:00

Its probably good to say you are waiting for marriage otherwise he might assume that you don't want to have sex with him because you are not interested in him. So you should absolutely not be vague. It will either lead to him distancing completely or continuing to pursue the subject.

mbniceguy · 2022-01-31T05:41:40+00:00

They have a right to know, sexual chemistry matters to a lot of guys so they'd never marry prior to knowing if you're a good fit.

BlunderbusDriver · 2022-01-31T06:35:32+00:00

For a man, its attraction then commitment, not the other way around.

If you were gonna buy a house, and the retailer says, you can see the outside, but if you walk in, you owe us something like 3 months rent, that is roughly what you are saying.

leinlin · 2022-01-30T17:47:05+00:00

I‘m in the same boat and as I see it it isn‘t clever to disclose neither of both early in the relationship. I‘m rather bubbly and open so I did before and it never worked to my advantage. There are too many negative preconceptions and it’ll be easy for them to drop you because they aren‘t emotionally invested in you yet. Once they are it won‘t be such a big issue because they‘ll know you‘re worth the wait.

Title	Tell a man you’re waiting for marriage or no?
Author	mirasthrowaway
Upvotes	35
Comments	20
Date	January 30, 2022 4:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/sgcoer/tell_a_man_youre_waiting_for_marriage_or_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/tell-a-man-youre-waiting-for-marriage-or-no.1098897 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098897

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