Years ago I was into the whole redpill and alpha thing in order to improve my dating experiences. I felt like women were running over me and not respecting me I guess. Well, the main message I took from these movements weren’t about women at all, it was about focusing and improving yourself for you and women will come along and fall in line. Years later I’ve achieved a lot due to grinding my ass off and staying focused on my goals. I’m not sure if it’s because the “women hit the wall”, generally them seeking a beta provider, or if I’ve gotten closer to this alpha state based off of achieving a lot in a short amount of time or all of the above…but the past year or so and recently I’ve been getting hit on a lot more by women. It feels weird to be the one doing the rejecting because I CHASED women most of my young adult life and it never paid off.

Lately it’s starting to hit me just how much I don’t want a relationship anymore. I went most of my life hoping one day a chick would just accept me and save me from my “single” identity I felt cursed with. None of them would, even if they initially let me in. Perhaps I came off too needy or something at that time and it turned them off. Anyway, I hadn’t been following redpill or alpha stuff for a few years now but I noticed how much some of the things said are finally happening. I got my shit together and suddenly all the single moms straight up say they need someone to be a man to her kids and provide, or I get the ones that have no kids but want you to spoil them with gifts and money but often have a terrible attitude and I refuse to break bread with women, so we go our separate ways. I suddenly realize just how much commitment simply turns me off, so many women bring baggage into your situation like kids or a personality that hasn’t been given a reality check. I’ve tried with some beautiful women but the idea just nauseates me, it’s much work and energy that I could put into myself is how I feel. I don’t crave control of a relationship or women (Narcissism) because I just walk away if they don’t have a peaceful personality. Truly I’m chill but women often like to test that or purposely upset me, so i cut them off. The idea of communicating simple things that should already be corrected at our age, meeting her family, giving up my time to be with her just aren’t me and never have been in retrospect. I learned sometimes I may get lonely but it’s not the craving a relationship kind anymore. I went from falling asleep sad that I may never find love my whole life to feeling lonely once a month and generally enjoy being alone, the idea of a woman being there fucking up that vibe with emotional mood swing bs is enough to be at peace with being alone. Some women tell me I’m emotionally unavailable and it’s true, when I was willing to share emotions they didn’t respect me and enjoyed being pursued.

Do you think these are signs of someone that has transitioned into the redpill or am I just some narcissistic guy? I’m really unsure, I just needed to vent out my thoughts.