You think you have to do something, that’s your male instincts fucking you over. Our mind is wired to do and to try to “fix”. Wrong approach. It is not about “fixing” anything but yourself. You do not have to say “I love you” back because she said it first. You don’t need to gift her back in retribution to what she gave you. You don’t have to call her or “else she’ll forget me”. In fact, and this is the irony of life, doing these (and other) things will only work against you. The problem underlying is not solved only by this. If this still happens to you, it means that the validation-seeking mindset, the “if I do x, she’ll do y” mentality is not gone.

And I understand that. Evolution has programmed us to think in this way. But in the contemporary context, this shit will backfire, and you know it either by personal experience or by observing others, or maybe by both. Do not EVER feel pushed to do something you do not want to. This is fucked to cultivate. It is fighting against our hard-wiring. But it is possible, with time, patience, and repeated action and reflection. That is something I still struggle with, being truly your own mental point of origin. Doing things for yourself (in the beginning to a narcissistic point). In other words, cultivating a sense of “healthy narcisism” or “rational egoism”.

There are ways to do so. One of the best is to observe how women do this by default. They only see themselves in the picture and what they gain by an interaction, and so should you, at least if you want to achieve your goals and fulfill your human experience. Look at the selfish things they do, look at how they always try to get the upper hand when they can - it is actually amusing. Another helpful way is to realize that, if you do not make your own vision and goals the main (and maybe the only) target of your focus and attention, nobody else will. And you will live a life of others, not yours. You will be pushed around by life and by everybody.

Yes, this may lead to your relationship breaking down. But is your goal to have a lasting relationship or one that fits your needs? Is your goal to be in company, even if that means compromising your true “mission” in life?

Man, fuck. This shit is fucking hard, I know. But its the most important battle you have to fight. All game tools are, in their deepest core, tools of self-realization. And self-realization can only happen when based on a sense of self, and a priority to that self.

So, do the work. Reach the point in which you stop caring about the effects of your actions on the girls you’re with. Amazingly, it is EXACTLY when you reach that point that you will be the most attractive, since you signal (in thousands of “micro” ways) that you are more than willing to walk away if your needs aren’t being met. In other words, you first have to care to come here in the first place, and then you can stop caring; and, when you do, the results will come; but it won’t be a covert contract, since it really won’t be about the results anymore. It will be about yourself. This is a fine distinction, and indeed one difficult to master.

But head down, persistence, focus and, most importantly, time will get you there. I write this to you but also to myself.