Live-In LTR of 3.5 Years Offering "Hard No's" for the First Time.

Tyred_Biggums · 2022-03-02T15:40:56+00:00

LTR of 3.5 years moved in together (I know)

You know what?

my hidden intent of marrying her within a year (that's gone now)

What changed?

~~couple things that I think explicitly lead to this~~ Here's how I've become unattractive

I'm jealous and mate guard by looking through her phone
I have no career goals and am floundering around
I believe and accept sex 'dries up'
I believe in 'dreading' her and using hysterical bonding to get sex by moving out
For some reason I am looking for reasons she's acting this way vs what I've done
I expect if I do X, Y, and Z she will 'come around' which is a covert contract and retarded
I got fat and eat shit food
I am not a high value man so the only benefit I can provide is exclusivity

Other questions to consider:

What can you control?
What benefits and value to do you get from this relationship?
Do you like this woman?

sicrm · 2022-03-02T14:59:46+00:00

she’s waiting for the lease to run out too before branching to a co-worker.

SBIII · 2022-03-02T15:10:52+00:00

What do you guys think?

I think you have a problem getting sex from your girlfriend.

The_Red_Letters · 2022-03-02T14:57:54+00:00

My gut tells me that I am fighting against a natural progression of things (non-monogamous --> monogamous --> living together = no sex).

This is not a natural progression unless you let it become one.

And now she is shifting me from AF to BB overtime. What do you guys think? Thanks.

She doesn’t shift you from AF to BB, you do.

Secret_Twitch · 2022-03-02T16:18:41+00:00

now she is shifting me from AF to BB

I'm Afraid I've Got Some Bad News... You did that to yourself.

She is coming to a realization that she thinks she can do better than you. The light switch has been flicked. Break up with her and leave and don't even give her an explanation.

Do some self reflecting about your mistakes. The fact that you routinely look through her phone tells me that you are insecure. Address that. You eluded to your career "sputtering" a little bit. Get your career on the right path. You said your body fat % could be lower. Get on a regimented training program and get your diet in check. Get your fucking shit together or you are doomed to be sitting in the corner being cucked while your girl get double teamed. Literally and metaphorically.

bowill0 · 2022-03-02T15:14:14+00:00

You have a decision to make that you're trying to delay.

Argentina-MRP · 2022-03-02T19:02:36+00:00

If I were to guess what's happening, I would say that this is the beginning of the end. You stopped working on yourself and making yourself your own mental point of origin (RE: Rational Male). You mention about starting to dabble in the sidebar, but that's not the same as internalizing the info in sidebar.

My question to you; Why have you not been serious about taking strides in your life? Women who are in their late 20s tend to leave men who don't have their shit together or have a goal that they are following for their life. Your woman is approaching the wall and she knows this instinctively. She can hang on to you as the safe option, who can provide a home, cash, prizes, a couple of kids, and anything she wants, while still going out later on for some Alpha cock (don't kid yourself...).

which will change within the next 6 months, like I said

How do you know? This one bothers me... The point of MRP and all of the sidebar material is to build a life for yourself. There is no "saving relationship/marriage/plates" here, it's about saving yourself from yourself. Maybe you can't be saved, I don't know. Forget about your girlfriend and accept the fact that she can leave, stay, or do whatever she wants. Read the sidebar, start working on your health (i.e. diet planning, counting calories), get lifting consistently (basics, SL5X5), and work through the different areas of your life that need improving - always (i.e. finances, game, social skills, etc.). This is all about you.

Remington-Holmes · 2022-03-02T20:58:24+00:00

You have no kids and are not married. You're not having sex and therefore you have no relationship. Just kill the puppy.

No sex with you, and talking about having sex with other people - that tells you all you need to know.

It's time to become someone worth fucking again, if that's what you want. Do it for yourself, if you're worth it.

You might be a candidate for the fastest guy to run through the betatisation process after moving in. Did you by any chance place the woman on a pedestal, give her all the time, attention and validation that she wanted, without any poon in return? Are you afraid of her tears, shaming, rage and judgements? Are you afraid of silent treatment? Have you dropped your social networks and hobbies and become comfortable?

business-_-_-travel · 2022-03-02T18:25:17+00:00

I agree with the other comments here, your girlfriend is waiting for the sands in the hourglass to run out and not be on the hook for paying off the rest of the lease. It sounds like this relationship has come to an end, between your lack of discipline in your own life, your lack of leadership, and failing to understand how to act in a relationship with a woman you intend on being with the long term has all come to a halt at this point. You are well and truly on the way to becoming BB, unless you are planning on focusing all of your energy on yourself. What is your plan? Tell us.

part_wolf · 2022-03-02T23:42:05+00:00

I’d wait until there’s 30 days left on your lease and inform both your landlord and your girlfriend that you won’t be renewing your contract with either of them.

ragnar_Daneskjold · 2022-03-02T22:19:37+00:00

Dude, your gf was here posting about this just a couple of days ago. She doesn't know how to tell you.

BobbyPeru · 2022-03-03T04:31:01+00:00

My gut tells me that I am fighting against a natural progression of things (non-monogamous --> monogamous --> living together = no sex)

My gut tells me you are making excuses for being unattractive because I’m married 13 yrs and my wife has sex whenever I want

But if you want the truth, the chance she’s cheating and getting ready to branch-swing is very high… but that’s on you for not being attractive.

Don_Draper27 · 2022-03-02T15:20:19+00:00

That threesome chat should not have affected your relationship much at all.

And your career is your career to worry about. The only that matters is your frame around it.

You won't admit it to us but what's your MV been the last few months. Any dread levels applied at all?

How are you handling the rejections?

And lastly, you may need to just call her out on it. Women are super insecure about body stuff, especially vaginal issues like a UTI or yeast infection.

Just approach her and lead with, "hey just checking in on you, you haven't been into sex much lately, just want to make sure everything's okay with you."

Lastly, you can always just tell her that you're moving out when the lease is up. Consider the LTR dead and focus on yourself. Her hamster may spin and she'll be all over you the last few weeks.

Either way, figure out what you want and apply it.

PutABabyInThat · 2022-03-03T01:18:18+00:00

fighting against a natural progression of things (non-monogamous --> monogamous --> living together = no sex)

The progression in your case is more like....

move in together -> she gets a closer look at who you really are -> realizes you're a pathetic fat retard -> becomes disgusted with you

I can always move out and get my own place, which my instincts tell me would solve this problem pretty much overnight.

Yeah that'll fix it lmao...

mrpthrowa · 2022-03-03T10:07:13+00:00

You tolerated it. Obviously, you stuck around after many "hard nos". This is because you do not have the guts to move on. This is because you are not good enough, and you know it.

But here you are trying to analyse this like an autistic idiot. You are so fucked up by her action you are about to write a thesis on what you have done to cause this.

A high value man doesn't tolerate this bullshit.

A girl gets 1 hard no a year - and that single hard no better be for a godamn good reason. After the first hard no, I'm getting out and finding another girl pronto that night and fucking the ever living shit out of her.

If it happens again, she is out.

cunningcaring · 2022-03-02T14:58:43+00:00

Ask her what’s going on, is the relationship over?

Title	Live-In LTR of 3.5 Years Offering "Hard No's" for the First Time.
Author	simba_remember
Upvotes	12
Comments	45
Date	March 2, 2022 2:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/t51l5b/livein_ltr_of_35_years_offering_hard_nos_for_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/live-in-ltr-of-35-years-offering-hard-nos-for-the.1104493 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104493

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