Dear fellow red pill women, I have a question! now there is an amazing man who I’m dating but I’m not sure how to tell him I want to be a traditional wife. My mom was a homemaker and possibly I’d love to be one as well. How did you fellow women told this to your partners?

Anonymous_fiend · 2022-03-12T19:58:17+00:00

We discussed it before dating or at least before the 3rd date. I was 23 and looking for a husband/dating with intention. We made sure we had similar views, goals for the future, and basic compatibility. He was very forward that his preferred relationship was traditional. Since we don’t have kids yet I work pt (my choice-he doesn’t care).

Have you guys gotten to the “what are you looking for” talk of the relationship?

EviessVeralan · 2022-03-12T20:28:25+00:00

I talked about it with my husband pretty early on during the "What are you looking for" conversation.

m_owom · 2022-03-12T20:35:02+00:00

When my husband and I were dating, we talked about what our plans for the future are. We agreed that we're both very family oriented and I think that would be a good place to say that I want to be a stay at home mom, if my husband didn't beat me to it and express that he would be very happy to have a traditional family (dad works, mom stays home with the children).

PearlSunrise · 2022-03-13T14:07:57+00:00

I talked a lot early in my realtionship how amazing it was to have a mom at home when I was growing, and when we got to the "do you want to have children someday?" question I shared how I wanted badly to a mother and how important it was to me to stay at home with any little ones I had.

Additionally, I started our relationship as a traditional girlfriend! Cooking for him on special occasions, sharing my interests and hobbies with him earnestly, going to church with his mom after we were more solidified.

Sending light to you in this time of new love!

Svenskamamma · 2022-03-16T20:21:11+00:00

Suzanne venker did a podcast on the topic which you could look up? I’ve not listened to it as I am already a SAHM but I lo,e quite a lot of her content

routinequeens · 2022-03-27T12:31:00+00:00

When my husband and I were dating, he saw my burnout and exhaustion I was struggling with because of several years of compounded overwork and high stress.

I didn’t start out with directly telling him I wanted to be a homemaker, but was honest about how soul sucking the situation was and how much I yearned to bring my efforts and time to a home.

We talked about how frustrating it was, spending our time either working or housekeeping, with no time to recover from work or enjoy life. It was a natural flow from there, talking about how if it was one persons job to keep the home and the other to be the breadwinner, down time would truly be down time… Not catch up time… and he loved that thought.

He had been taken advantage of in a previous relationship and the thought of someone wanting to stay at home initially gave him a lot of anxiety…

But with time, as our relationship strengthened and he got to know my character, trust was built.

Now, he takes so much pride in being able to provide and have a wife at home. He really rose to the challenge. The more I trust him the taller he stands. It’s been such a blessing to see him grow in confidence and has been an incredible gift to come home and embrace the journey of recovery and healing as well as learning how to embrace my role.

We are both so much happier!

perceptionsmk · 2022-03-27T20:48:29+00:00

Tell men before you meet them. Make it very clear upfront so you don't end up wasting time or heart broken. The men that are looking for a home maker will make it clear and those that don't will self select out.

You can be direct communicators and feminine. Its a female super power.

The men you are looking for are out here and we are looking for (COO/homemaker) to manage parts of our lives. Be excited and make it clear you want the job and what skills you have to do so.

saddensgirl · 2022-03-14T01:50:42+00:00

We went for a walk for our first date after we finally met in person. We discussed pretty much everything we wanted in a relationship, including how many potential future children we wanted, gender roles, finances, etc. I told him I wanted to be a SAHM for the first few years if we had kids and he told me he wanted to be the provider for our family. Although fate has so far lead us not to have kids, we still both enjoy having traditional gender roles in our marriage.

laguaguadecarne · 2022-03-15T15:54:16+00:00

One detail you need to be aware of being a homemaker is that YOU run the household. Being a homemaker goes beyond doing cooking, cleaning/tidying, and child-rearing. You're also the overall household administrator more than anything else.

You've probably heard in pop culture of the saying: the man is the head, but the woman is the NECK... and the neck makes the head turn around. THAT'S how it works when you're the SAHM homemaker.

You have to be wary if your husband tries to hide any money from you. Why? As the household administrator, the one who tracks the budget is YOU. You've probably heard about having your own savings account: both you and your husband should have your own savings accounts (neither of you should touch each other's, but should not be kept hidden either) for y'all's play money: this isn't a bad thing. Think about this: what if your husband suddenly loses his job, and while he finds a new job... the money in either saving can keep y'all solvent for a while (on top of his unemployment).

Marriage (whether is a traditional marriage, or a more modern marriage) is NEVER 50/50: it is always 100/100.

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emmalai85 · 2022-03-12T21:01:53+00:00

I was honest in my dating ad what I was looking for.

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