I am a gentlemen and I am shamned for it.

akihonj · 2022-03-25T13:43:59+00:00

I used to be exactly like you, now I reserve that behaviour for women who show they deserve it.

LoopyPro · 2022-03-25T12:35:59+00:00

Don't bother acting like a gentleman if girls can't act like ladies.

Of course everyone still deserves basic human dignity, but you're wasting time/effort if you endlessly please ungrateful people.

Suddenly_Sisyphus42 · 2022-03-25T14:06:18+00:00

Just tell them you treat everyone like that, man, woman and in-between. You know just trying to follow the golden rule and such.

redemptionarcing · 2022-03-25T14:03:20+00:00

I have opened plenty of doors and gotten an offended reaction exactly 0 times.

Have you tried being more attractive? I think that might be the issue.

thealphateam · 2022-03-25T13:20:21+00:00

I still do it. I don't need their kudos.

AyWhatITIS · 2022-03-25T15:08:55+00:00

Literally never happened. Women always say thanks, might need to do some self reflection

dcommini · 2022-03-25T13:44:16+00:00

I have quite literally just shrugged and walked through the door myself before such people when they complain about me holding the door open for them. Or just sat down in the seat I offered them.

The look on their face is priceless.

Also, I typically hold doors open for anyone who is close by, regardless of gender, so it's not like I'm only doing it for women because they're weak or something.

As for seat giving, I'm disabled and use a cane to walk/stand, but I'll still give up my seat for the elderly, infirm, or pregnant women.

BaldSandokan · 2022-03-25T14:10:11+00:00

You are not a gentleman you are a pushower. You let bullies take advantage of you. If someone disrespect you you must stop them. Regardless of their gender a bully is a bully. Call them out on their behaviour immediately and demand respect not as a man, but as a human being.

functionalsociopathy · 2022-03-25T13:35:01+00:00

Your mother set you up for failure. "Gentleman" is just another word for schmuck these days. Nobody under 40 appreciates the behavior, especially single women.

If you want better results try acting like you don't care if you see them again. Most of them have zero challenges in their lives since everything in their life gets handed to them, so actually have something to work towards is like a drop of water in the middle of the desert for them.

HooliganS_Only · 2022-03-25T14:58:00+00:00

Integrity is about doing what you believe to be right regardless of the context. For praise or shame you do what you believe to be right. If someone wants to be an asshole about it that’s on them, not on you. You can feel good about whatever you want, and they can feel bad about whatever they want. Don’t let someone’s shitty attitude change what you believe to be good and right. These people clamoring about “I’m not a gentleman until someone deserves it” means they aren’t gentlemen, but rather manipulative. Their “integrity” is dependent on what they can get out of it.

Explise209 · 2022-03-25T16:54:28+00:00

That’s just called being polite. It’s a nice trait :D

yahaya146 · 2022-03-25T17:36:38+00:00

A gentleman is determined by going out of your way to do stuff for women. Stop doing shit for them if they’re gonna moan and not appreciate it.

radfemalewoman · 2022-03-25T17:44:59+00:00

I teach my son to be a gentleman and my daughter to be a lady. I’m sorry that you have come into contact with so many women who did not get correct home training.

AriaBellaPancake · 2022-03-25T17:49:13+00:00

You might have just been dealing with some particularly insecure people.

Alternatively, it was read as a romantic advance and they felt compelled to push back. If you only do such with women you're interested in, it's pretty obvious that you're doing it as a "play"

And don't take it personally when people are too much. You said it doesn't happen all the time, so don't let it bother you too much. Some people are just like that

JoeSmith1907 · 2022-03-25T18:38:13+00:00

My experience has been that they're almost always polite. Even the ones I joke around with are polite when I do that.

tipying_mistakes · 2022-03-25T18:40:08+00:00

I personally have a common courtesy, and I will hold a door open for just everyone, unconditionally, and never on account of their gender, race, height, skin tone, sexual orientation, personal identity, what flavour ice cream they like, whether or not they proceeded to terrorise a public area despite telling their family that they were just going to go get some milk and eggs, their religion, etc.

If someone, man or woman ^{or nonbinary}, is close to a door that I’m entering, and happens to be heading my way, I will hold it open for them out of common courtesy because it’s just the nice thing to do.

No woman before has ever complained to me about “I can handle myself just fine I don’t need your chivalry!” but if they did, I would be deeply offended by their measly assumption that I hold the door for women only! Do you really think I give a shit if you’re a woman? Are you under the impression that I somehow believe that all women are inferior and require more guidance and assistance with basic everyday activities? It’s a door! I’m sure you’ve held a door open for someone else too, right? I’m sure you’ve seen guys holding doors open for other guys and not just women, right?!?! Even a woman might hold a door open for another man and not just women, because it’s common courtesy! You’re not a woman to me, you’re a fucking person who is nearby the door that I am heading through, and you just so happen to be heading through the aforementioned door that I am heading though! I am being a nice person!

kaijyuu2016 · 2022-03-25T18:58:24+00:00

Be a gentleman with people who deserve a gentleman.

who_said_it_was_mE · 2022-03-25T19:22:36+00:00

There is a difference between creepy and targeted towards women you want to smash and being nice to people

thisismymgtowaccount · 2022-03-25T19:45:19+00:00

I live in the southern part of the US and a large number of people will hold doors open for each other. It's both men and women, but the men are more likely to do this. I hold the door for everyone, assuming they are close enough to the door that I'm not waiting for an awkward amount of time. I've mostly had thank you's and general gratitude for it, but there have been a few times where a someone(usually a woman) has said nothing or made no acknowledgement of the gesture. I've had one lady grab the door, pulling it away aggressively and saying, "No! I've got it!".

ThePigmanAgain · 2022-03-25T19:54:33+00:00

You have a very odd way of spelling "simp."

Normal-Yogurtcloset5 · 2022-03-25T20:05:02+00:00

I hold the door open for elders, small children, disabled people and folks who are carrying packages. I definitely don’t bother holding the door open for women unless it’s a family member or we’re on a date. I had enough of feminists talking shit decades ago so I let them open doors on their own.

Normal-Yogurtcloset5 · 2022-03-25T20:06:55+00:00

The problem is that women teach their sons to be “gentlemen” but don’t teach their daughters to be “ladies”. One can’t really exist without the other.

aknabi · 2022-03-25T20:31:34+00:00

I’ve known many straight out of the playbook gold diggers… the term for their marks are “established gentlemen”… gentleman is the “politically correct” term for simp.

AndyMarks-RM · 2022-03-25T20:31:42+00:00

Hold the door open and when they complain just say, "my apologies, kindly, blow it out your ass" then and walk away.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2022-03-25T20:48:39+00:00

A gentlemen open doors for LADIES, not for every random modern women.
In the past women used to aspire to become ladies thast why your mother taught you that, but nowadays ladies are a rare specimen to find.
She should have also taught you to spot and differentiate ladies from the rest of women.

Emperor_Quintana · 2022-03-25T21:16:40+00:00

Back in the era of chivalry, men were encouraged to extend common courtesy towards women, by social virtue.

Nowadays, more women are becoming disinclined to accept the concept of such common courtesy, as if it were demeaning or patronizing towards them.

I fear that it is only a matter of time before Western civilization gets torn apart at the seams from the discarding of social customs and mores. And all for what? The concept of “empowerment”?

Chris_Canucksfan · 2022-03-26T03:42:39+00:00

When I was in college I held a door open for a woman and she called me a pig. Since then I only hold a door open for a woman if I'm related to her or shes elderly or disabled

SpongeBrainz · 2022-03-26T05:01:35+00:00

My goodness. How often does that happen??? I live in NZ and I'm always really grateful to them and I thank the men and women who hold the door open for me. Even on busses, I've had a couple of men almost getting up and saying (elderly) "would like to take my seat" and I always politely decline "no thank you, it's okay" and smile in reassurance. Even though, my bloody tramping pack was killing me, but I'm not going to take an old man's seat.

I do get stuck holding doors open for people, its just common courtesy whenever someone is behind me, the elderly ladies and gentlemen are always thanking me. But the men and women roughly my age (20s) hardly ever thank me. I know I'm a woman, but I've been taught courtesy myself, my mom is good like that too and taught me, especially for the elderly.

I'm sure there's still women out there like me that give their thanks and smile or politely decline a seat. Also, I don't think it's just men that have this issue with people being rude and impolite by holding a door or offering a seat to them. I have that issue too with men and women around my age or slightly older. Yes, probably happens more so for men, I won't deny that. But I'm just stating with what I've experienced by being polite and have common courtesy towards strangers. The rude people I've experienced are both men and women in my experience, its pretty even.

questioning_alt_22 · 2022-03-25T17:22:22+00:00

gentlemen don't refer to women as females like they're a separate species

Title	I am a gentlemen and I am shamned for it.
Author	RiotRioter
Upvotes	96
Comments	60
Date	March 25, 2022 11:37 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/AntiFeminists
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/antifeminists/comments/tnjzip/i_am_a_gentlemen_and_i_am_shamned_for_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/AntiFeminists/i-am-a-gentlemen-and-i-am-shamned-for-it.1107600 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107600

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