In the months leading up to the pandemic I was sexually assaulted twice. Nothing horrendous but a drunk girl groping me until I pulled her off, and a woman on a date that wasn’t getting the hint that I needed to go and work and was climbing all over me until I had to push her off and assert that I had to leave.

Was what they did wrong? Absolutely.

But under the current dynamics, if they had been anyone of any level of notoriety, I feel like I would perhaps have the power to ruin them. And honestly, this bothers me quite a bit. I don’t think I should be forced to interact with them if I choose, but the idea of them losing their jobs, or being harassed and/or shunned socially because of it seems incredibly disproportional to their crimes. I would gladly take an apology if I felt it was sincere (Though I feel the need to state that obviously if it was a worse crime I would say they would deserve a proportional punishment).

Feminism seems to have pushed for dynamics in society to inact incredibly harsh punishments for even minor instances of crimes against women, and most on the opposite side, instead of trying to push nuance, react by saying when women commit similar acts they should be punished in a similar fashion. The result seems to be an incredible amount of vitriol in discussions surrounding these topics, and we conflate clumsy social interactions and instances of touching with some of the most severe crimes. It’s definitely a moral panic.

I‘m concerned about this because it goes against a lot of what many have fought for in terms of rehabilitative justice, particularly for men, but also for women. Partly because often the smaller crimes are conflated with some of the most heinous ones, but also because they ignore instances of people truly becoming better and treating the problems, both individual and societal that often cause issues.

Not everyone that commits an act like that is a terrible awful person. I don’t believe the women who did those things to me were awful. I’ve been in a horribly emotional abusive relationship and I’d rather go through the experience with those strangers many times over than the relive that abuse. And even if they deserved punishment, shouldn‘t they also be given the right to get better as well? And shouldn’t we also be addressing conditions that also create people that commit crimes?

Does anyone else feel similarly? Am I being to empathetic to these women who did that?