Some more thoughts on resentment / jealousy towards women (Update Post)

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-05-29T00:25:09+00:00

I saw your post in the other subreddit and yes, it's a much more poisonous air in there; I'm only following it because I'm interested in human psychology.

I've been reading/listening to books about this subject of the male approach to love, and I'm pretty certain a lot of the toxicity going around has a commercial motivation: by keeping men unhappy and jealous of women you can sell them lots of things, from gym membership to steroids to pick up artist courses, and you can attract lots of traffic to certain YouTube channels.

The main problem I see is that men are obsessing to get a very small segment of women, those with extremely attractive bodies and faces, which probably before the advent of dating apps and social media they wouldn't even have been aware of. That creates a huge sense of disappoinment and rage. It's as if everyone, instead of a modest house and car, felt entitled to owning a yacht and a mansion.

However, I'm sure that a lot of the men who complain online about their dating life have around them average looking girls and women (as average looking as themselves) who would make excellent friends, girlfriends, sexual companions, and discard them as a possibility because they're chasing an impossible dream. Impossible not only because the extremely beautiful girls won't look at them, but also because that beauty is very often artificial and created just for the online world, and because it doesn't necessarily go together with a capacity for kindness, love and sexual intimacy.

I see this problem men have as something parallel to the terrible pressure women experience towards physical beauty, which leads in many cases towards mental health problems and eating disorders. In both cases, an ideal which is impossible to attain makes people disconnect with the real possibilities they could enjoy in life.... and is a source of commercial revenues for a lot of people.

Liberating oneself from those toxic ideas is probably the best way to reach a certain level of inner happiness.

NuggetsPhD · 2022-05-28T20:56:17+00:00

Glad to hear it was helpful! Posts here can be really mixed and it mostly depends on whether OP will put in a good faith effort to hear commentors feedback. Sounds like this one was a success with lots of good conversation.

Something that I noticed and I'm not sure anyone really spoke to: I noticed you talk a lot about value, specifically the differences in value between men and women. There doesn't seem to be any real way to quantify or measure it though.

It's supposed to be something that doesn't need a definition, right? We just "know" what a valuable person is. Do we, though? I think I saw an argument you made that was something along the lines of "women are valued for just being women." What does it mean to be "valued" in this case, though?

This seems to be a fairly prevalent thought in RP/incel-adjacent communities, but no real definition or metric of "value" when making comparisons.

I do research and analysis for a living. I can't write reports where I just assume we all know what value is and looks like. I have to set clear definitions if I'm going to measure and say something is more or less valuable. As a follow up, do we all accept this as a valid definition? It's easy to just say good looks, money, personality, etc. but do we all agree on how to measure those?

You don't necessarily need to have an answer, but hopefully just some food for thought! I think this kind of questioning is important because it seems so obvious, so I would encourage you to try to really challenge this notion for yourself and how it fits into some of your takeaways from the other post.

Knave_of_Opossums · 2022-05-28T20:25:52+00:00

re: number 5, correct me if I'm wrong - I think maybe you're referring to the fact that women tend to not want causal hookups as much as men, and so it doesn't benefit them as much to be able to get them? That may be true, and it is an important thing for redpilled/blackpilled guys to keep in mind, since it's often a major source of their resentment towards women, but I would say that it's kind of a bad thought direction to go in to believe that "nobody really has it better than anyone else."

I'm not sure how much I want to get into it at the moment, but that's definitely not true. And while I somewhat agree with what you said, "comparing about other people's benefits accomplishes absolutely nothing," in some ways it can be useful and beneficial to do so, especially for the sake of understanding systemic issues, both those that impact women, as well as those that impact men.

moistJesus666 · 2022-05-28T23:48:30+00:00

I find meditation and self reflection helps a lot. It took a long time to accept the fact that no self respecting woman would want anything to do with a loser like me, and move on with my life. I really wish more men would be capable of the same instead of being stuck in the rage phase for an eternity.

Title	Some more thoughts on resentment / jealousy towards women (Update Post)
Author	nicholasbuchanan
Upvotes	16
Comments	39
Date	May 28, 2022 7:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/uzulkr/some_more_thoughts_on_resentment_jealousy_towards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/some-more-thoughts-on-resentment-jealousy-towards.1118229 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118229

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