How can I stop feeling resentment and jealousy towards women?

Kaleidoscopefatigue · 2022-05-28T00:59:23+00:00

Remember the other 70% of women that you are not considering in AWALT. Incel is a cognitive distortion generated by 'women' as being the women that they are sexually interested in, without totally applying the 'all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares' aka. I know you're not interested in the others, but are you interested in the cohesiveness and logic in the body of logic you are using to grow your brain?

Remember that an incel boy may be fixated on the most attractive 20% of girls of a certain age as 'women'-- because in this ideology, 'women' loosely can mean everyone who is 'female' VS = attractive women that he wants to date.

1 word for 2 very different categories of people, isn't it?
For a system of categorization to determine your thoughts and actions, this is not scientific. This is very problematic. When your brain is at the roadblock with your logic.. You will say 'does this apply to 'all women?" or 'the women I am attracted to?" '

Incel is a comfort based ideology, and the thinker in these moments of A or B chooses the definition that emotionally suits his suicidality and darkness, in the choice of 1 word meaning 2 nearly opposite things. It's the brain trying to justify its own self destructiveness.

'women I want to date' being casually conflated or interchangeable with 'women as a whole' in group thought and discussion is poison.

This conflation is a gigantic fallacy. Rocket fuel for radicalization. Radicalization happens when you get a delightful variable for 1 thing that can actually mean almost the opposite at the same time. The odd thing is that it's so obvious that those who see this from the outside don't really think to say it or break it down. I never have. It's just exhausting.

Most women and girls are the same mediocre types of problems as men. We have everyday problems and pain that are not visible too. Many of us aren't really vocal about it. We may sound whiny, but you only hear the vocal ones. Use logic to consider what type of information and voices 'get through', and all of they information that doesn't. Just use logic over this. Pretend you are a computer and vet what goes into your brain. Incel is EMOTIVE and fear based. It's emotional content parading as logic.

Vimes52 · 2022-05-28T03:54:58+00:00

Beautiful women deal with a lot of fake people. Just because she's surrounded by people doesn't mean she has many friends, it just means a lot of people see a value in/ use for her: she's a trophy, or a tool, she isn't valued as an individual, she's valued purely for how her appearance makes other people feel.

I don't envy that at all, I'd rather have relationships built on things that matter, not how I look standing next to someone. The more physically attractive you are, the more time you have to spend weeding out the secret haters who blame you for how other people respond to you.

AdjectiveMcNoun · 2022-05-28T05:33:29+00:00

Almost anyone can look at someone else's life and think that the grass is greener on the other side. That usually isn't true though. Everyone has their own battles to fight and traumas to endure. You have no idea what someone else might be going through.

The truth is pretty girls often have difficulties in dating as well. Sure, they may get dates easily but that doesn't mean much if the guys asking her out are jerks to her. One still has to be compatible with, and enjoy the company of the other person. I know several gorgeous women who have had trouble finding relationships, and several that are divorced. Pretty people can get sick. They can have financial problems. They can lose a loved one. They have all the same bad things happen to them as everyone else.

Did you see the story about the man born without a jaw that recently got married? The man has no lower half of his face. He can it eat food, he uses a feeding tube. He cannot speak, he uses sign language. He has to have a trach tube to breath. He found a beautiful wife.

Looks aren't everything. It's very shallow and superficial to base everything on looks. Looks change. Aging happens. Accidents happen. Some attractive people are just plain awful people.

jh3kd · 2022-05-28T03:01:03+00:00

If you dislike your mum, forgive her and let go. Aim to be a better son. A lot of our resentment towards women can derive from the way we were treated as children. Also, see women as human beings, not lumps of hypergamous flesh that monkey branch to the next ‘high value man’. You’re no longer a red pill robot. You’re a human being. Treat other people like they’re human too.

Own-Masterpiece5102 · 2022-05-28T04:16:48+00:00

Why are you specifically jealous toward women? You would also have great dating prospects if you were born a male who was highly outgoing, very attractive, or in a rich family. Doesn't it make sense to feel jealousy toward other men, since they have what you lack?

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2022-05-28T00:47:56+00:00

Being a girl is miserable. I'm a woman. We face constant terror and fear of being killed just for saying no to men. In other countries women are raped and tortured and the news barely mentions it. And on top of that we are made fun of if we even mention any feminist views. I would gladly switch places.

mandoa_sky · 2022-05-28T04:44:27+00:00

there are ugly girls that no guy wants (see: secret girlfriend)

so it's not that bad in the grand scheme of things.

OddPreparation3247 · 2022-05-28T09:08:13+00:00

You cannot simply stop feeling something. Feelings and emotions are there specifically to override our rational brains and spur us to do (sometimes) stupid shit that might have given us some evolutionary advantage in the long-gone past. If you are in therapy then you were probably prompted to name the emotions you feel, because you mention resentment and jealousy. But is it all? There is a strong emotion that is very common in human males that gets overlooked in therapy, namely: feeling of injustice. I am willing to bet that this is what you feel and did not name it properly, so it holds power over you.

Don't get me wrong, it is a complex and wonderful emotion. Think of it as a trigger that is set off whenever some big psychopath tries to take over your tribe. It makes you go against the bigger and stronger guy even if it seems stupid. It pushed numerous men (and women) to stand against a tyrant, against all odds. I would say that it is a cornerstone of our civilization. What is important is that this emotion is not selfish but rather facilitates alliance building and community. But, as all emotions, it is somewhat blind. And there is a special place in hell for those people who manipulate it to gain/keep power or money. They do it by redirecting it towards someone else and women are easy target for many reasons:

women put more focus on looking good and seeming happy and grateful. And it makes them seem more successful and happy than you are.
women were treated as property of men on top that they leased to men at the bottom to prevent rebellion and assure reproduction of working classes. Ever wondered why you need a priest or a state representative for two adult people to be seen as a legitimate couple? This makes women seem to be in an alliance with men on top and against you.
they are less likely to rock the boat and stand up to power because historically they were isolated in their homes and prevented to build communities. This makes them seem like they support the system. That is why feminism seems to many as a shit test for lesser men at worst and a fad for privileged white women at best

Notice that RP and even BP gurus are very careful when it comes to chad, i.e. the man on top. RP dangles the prospect of becoming one in front of you (it never happens, of course, but you consume content and buy books/courses). BP is more interesting. It acknowledges that chads get all the pussy, but then injects you with empathy towards them, because who wouldn't slay mad pussy if they could? Women are to blame for chad because they make him inevitable. They are eternally on the side of a big psychopath that is taking over your tribe and you can't do anything about it "because biology..."

So... I think we were all tricked to see women as a placeholder for society that we were excluded from. I don't think many young men start with hatred towards women. It rather begins with frustration because of legitimate feeling of injustice for being excluded. Then this frustration gets reinforced and slowly turns into anger and hatred.

Sorry for long answer and some things I said might not apply to you. Please remember that emotions are not good or bad. They simply are and you need to understand them and it will allow you to make peace with them, and live your life.

softnmushy · 2022-05-28T02:17:35+00:00

“ And my brain keeps reminding me, that if I was a pretty girl, I could probably have a great big social circle in no time at all”

This would also be true if you were a handsome boy. You shouldn’t be angry at women. You should be angry that you were born without good looks. I wish I was better looking too. But we have to learn to make the best of what we are given. At least you weren’t born in the 1400s. Or worse.

Also, I think you need to try harder to see things from other people’s shoes. Women have plenty of problems men don’t have. And, for some reason you are jealous of pretty women but not jealous of handsome men. That is illogical and indicates to me you need to be better at empathy and seeing things from other’s perspectives.

Naus1987 · 2022-05-28T12:14:32+00:00

I’m proud of you for being in therapy. They’ll help you more than anyone of us can. I’m just glad you’re taking the right steps!

2022-05-30T06:11:27+00:00

Dude the main thing to do from reading your post is to forget and don't entertain any RP content. Allow your mind to move on. Sure, you're resentful and jealous at the moment, but that will pass, if you let it. Just move away from this stuff, bit by bit, at your own leisure. It's toxic. And dangerous. Most men have your thoughts at some time in their life, it's a projection. It's fine. But don't let it consume you otherwise you'll really be in the shit. By consume I mean don't let it radicalize you like those sad fucks at TRP. The RP will be extremely soothing and satisfying to someone who has them thoughts. And before you know what your whole prism of interpretation will be captured. Run from it. Entertain new thoughts. Find compassion or within and for without, allow life to unfold.

vcreativ · 2022-05-30T16:02:32+00:00

Usually what men get upset by isn't how women are treated, but rather how attractive women are treated. And usually women get upset at how bad men treat them, not how men treat them. Neither group is uniform.

Take a look at all the women around you and ask yourself if you're genuinely jealous of all of them.

I've seen some quite emotionally flat and stunted men be immensely popular with women that certainly seem attractive. It puzzles me, but I that these women aren't as attractive to me as they seem at first glance. It's ok to reassess how attractive you find someone based on their choices.

And honestly, if I had 300 dating options at the click of a button, part of me might feel flattered, but I'd really start to wonder if there isn't something very specific about me that they want.

People don't run your door in for emotional connection. Certainly not by the hundreds from an online profile.

Tall_Memory_645 · 2022-05-28T00:51:47+00:00

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tpobs · 2022-05-28T05:34:10+00:00

About women being privileged: "Men are afraid being laughed at by women. Women are afraid of being murdered by men."

Being envious is never give you any solution, and it is endless toil - there is always someone to be envious at.

How about this - you are you. That is not gonna change. Other people are others. That also is not gonna change. But there is one single thing you can definitely change - yourself. You can be better. You can be worse. Life doesn't always go as we want it, but you can make a choice, and give it a try.

escapadablur · 2022-05-28T05:04:00+00:00

Everyone has numerous attributes that can be seen as good or bad. As for the attractive woman with a large social circle, think about how difficult it would be keep track of everyone in the circle as they all vie for attention. Think about how many people only want to be her friend because of her beauty. Think about the stalkers she likely has to deal with and how vulnerable she must feel. Think about how life will make a 180 turn as she ages and is no longer as beautiful. Yeah she may have many men to choose from, but think about the analysis paralysis she must feel deciding on "The One" if she ever wants to settle down. Not all highly sociable people with a large circle for friends are attractive women. Also, think about all the unattractive men who manage to have a large circle of friends and a beautiful partner. They tend to have certain skills that draw people towards them. You just have to find your skills and find your unique charisma. Look at someone like comedian Bert Kreischer. He's borderline obese (if not obese) and not that attractive but kills it at his shows. He tours in a bus with his face on it and the party goes wherever he goes. He has found his unique talent and charisma and is living the dream.

Tall_Memory_645 · 2022-05-28T00:42:38+00:00

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perlm · 2022-05-28T03:40:35+00:00

It sounds like you haven't been able to change your thinking through reasoning, and not through therapy either. Resisting a thought can sometimes make it stronger, while seeing it, accepting it, and letting it pass may be more practical. Which is to say, intensive meditation might help if you are mentally well enough to undertake it - perhaps vipassana?

You might also find your resentment towards women falls away as you improve yourself and your own life. Are there unhealthy habits you could consider giving up (excess alcohol, porn, videos/phones/computers)? Healthy habits you could consider adopting (exercise, being outside, etc.)? What about hobbies, especially ones that would bring you into a community of like-minded people?

gnureddit789 · 2022-05-28T05:39:37+00:00

You problem not is physical or psychological; you problem is spiritual.

madame_imane · 2022-05-28T08:52:01+00:00

thats just weird. i think you should watch "malena" and it will give you a realistic view of what you'll actually face if you were one.

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-05-28T09:07:12+00:00

That's not true. I'm a cute petite woman who is also horribly socially awkward (I probably have autism) and deeply introverted (INTJ) and I struggle to make genuine friends. Women think I'm weird and I've given up on making new male friends because they just want to fuck me.

anubhav23 · 2022-05-28T11:22:16+00:00

Follow some spiritual talks. Mostly eastern because western talks are more logical and spiritual goes beyond logic and reason.

DanMarinosDolphins · 2022-05-28T11:25:16+00:00

Part of the problem is that the manosphere distorts the female experience greatly. Women have many of the same problems socializing and making friends as men do, and that can be regardless of appearance. That's one thing I hate about the manosphere. It alienates men and women from each other. It pits them against each other.

For women, also living in a patriarchy means that even when they do have something of value, they're often targeted by men and exploited for it. Or they're seen as rivals by other women in the workplace or other social situations.

I will say, that being attractive in general or looking young will help you get socialized. I was raised in a Christian cult and didn't leave for 20 years. I'm a trans man, and people thought, still think, that im 10 years younger than I actually am. I'm also conventionally attractive. I was very awkward and weird, but people were forgiving because I looked like an attractive awkward 15 year old boy, not an awkward 22 year old man. I got to catch up on a lot of missed socialization because of it because people gave me a chance.

I'd say try putting yourself in very social work environments. Like working in food service. It's a culture that forces you to communicate with your coworkers constantly and you will be socialized to the culture of that restaurant. You could also join a martial arts studio, that has the same effect. Anywhere where there's a group of people that's highly social with each other will help you gain social skills.

Practical_Trainer249 · 2022-05-28T13:18:08+00:00

If you were a pretty girl, in reality, you would be constantly sexually harrassed and heavily sexualized from the time you’re barely out of your diapers. No one would take you seriously, and everyone will insist you are whatever their predisposed notion of a pretty girl is. It’s either fun and bubbly, or a stuck up bitch. If you don’t follow their protocols, most people will make their insecurities your problem. Most men will lie to you and say anything they can to try to convince you to sleep with them. And if they don’t succeed you’re a prude and a whore that deserves to be raped. You most likely will never find someone who actually respects you because most resent you for your looks, and if you’re straight, there’s a 0.01% chance of finding a man who doesn’t let his jealousy out of control despite you showing absolutely zero interest in other men.

But yea, everyone wants to fuck you so that’s peak happiness right?

slut-forager · 2022-05-29T10:54:43+00:00

Big key word here is "pretty." Not to sound blackpilled, but women who aren't viewed as conventionally attractive can still, and commonly do, have an experience similar to yours. My husband is awkward and has a hard time making friends, but fortunately he never felt jealousy/resentment towards women for it. I was intimidated by his lack of experience and social isolation when we first met but I found him to be incredibly sweet, however that wouldn't have happened if he held on to the idea that his problems would be solved if he had been born a beautiful girl. I feel the resentment would've gotten in the way of being able to build and connect with each other

Title	How can I stop feeling resentment and jealousy towards women?
Author	nicholasbuchanan
Upvotes	32
Comments	92
Date	May 28, 2022 12:33 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/uzbv2c/how_can_i_stop_feeling_resentment_and_jealousy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-can-i-stop-feeling-resentment-and-jealousy.1118353 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118353

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