Do the days matter?

NothingIsEverEnough · 2022-05-21T14:32:22+00:00

It’s between you and her, you can make up any schedule you want. The more flexible you are with each other the easier life will be

MedFu · 2022-05-22T05:16:41+00:00

You are proposing 3-3-4-4.

M/T/W dad then Th/F/Sa mom Su/M/T/W dad then Th/F/Sa/Su mom

Your heart is in the right place but reality doesn’t live there.

The days do matter. You need to have every other weekend. The kids need to split weekends with the parents.

They might not be in school yet, but your divorce decree will still be valid when they are. And then you will no longer “have time with them” on “my days off” because they will be in school. And she will have every weekend and you will have no full days with the kids.

You also don’t want every day off to have kids. You just don’t. You will drive yourself nuts.

Pick the 2 days you want the kids the most - either Monday/Tuesday nights or Wed/Thurs nights - and do 2-2-5-5. You’ll have them every Mon/Tues, her every Wed/Thurs and then every other weekend or vice versa.

And to answer your question, no, it’s not fair at all for one parent to have all the weekends. Not fair from the kids perspective and not fair from the parent’s life perspective. Your job may not revolve around weekends existing. Trust me, I get that better than you as an ER doctor - weekends literally don’t exist in my world. But in the rest of the world, weekends do matter a ton and you need to split them.

Banking on always asking the other parent to take the kids for a Saturday night is just not realistic nor is it sustainable.

BobQuasit · 2022-05-21T15:08:14+00:00

What about Saturdays?

fixingmedaybyday · 2022-05-21T15:57:44+00:00

I do a 2-2-5-5. My days are wed and Thurs and it sucks. Want to take an early weekend? Nope, gotta watch the kid. I highly suggest if you do 2255, take Monday Tuesday

Spodee5 · 2022-05-21T22:54:50+00:00

I was able to get the court to give me my parenting time on my days off. I work 12 hr nights Th, Fri, Sat. My ex works M-F.

I always took care of them during the week so my lawyer just argued to maintain the historical parenting times for the kids. Court loved it

Knave7575 · 2022-05-21T14:45:57+00:00

Sounds like you want a modified 2-2-5-5

Also, don’t be afraid to hire babysitters or use daycares. You don’t have to be there 100% of the time on your parenting days.

Title	Do the days matter?
Author	FuckMatias
Upvotes	3
Comments	43
Date	May 21, 2022 2:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/uuo7om/do_the_days_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-the-days-matter.1119101 https://theredarchive.com/post/1119101

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