Would you utilize a local male-only support group?

Alreaddy_reddit · 2022-07-15T03:58:15+00:00

Not the same thing but one of my colleagues started a "men of HR" LinkedIn group. He invited all the men in our department to join.

I don't know exactly what happened but he got in a bunch of trouble and management asked us to unfollow the group.

Pasolini123 · 2022-07-15T06:29:44+00:00

Yes, but it also depends on what kind of a group this would be. I've seen some documentaries about such groups in Scandinavian TV and it looks like many of them were similar to the mythopoetic men's movement. And that's too esoteric and new age to me. Other groups shown in these documentaries were basically groups of male feminists complaining about patriarchy. Such group exists also in Poland and it has even gained some popularity through media. But I will certainly stay away from it. Because according to their own description, the guys meet in order to discuss "how patriarchy affects them and their relationships with women and the society" and their goal is to "become better men and acknowledge their male privilege". I don't know if I should laugh my ass off or pity them, but I know that's nothing for me.

But the idea of male support groups is a very good one. One of the greatest taboos of our times are male only spaces (whereas female only spaces are quite en vogue). This can have a negative impact on men's mental health in itself, because I think that people need some situations and places, where they can be with people of their own gender.

a-man-from-earth · 2022-07-15T00:29:06+00:00

Yes. I would at least check it out. A lot would depend on how it's actually led. It doesn't need to be a therapist, but it should be someone who knows what he's doing and who will safeguard the group from radicalizing.

Maldevinine · 2022-07-15T03:18:47+00:00

I use both in my city, and support them quite heavily.

Australia is out in front of many places with it's acknowledged men's groups

Ivan_Andreyev · 2022-07-15T03:26:04+00:00

If there was one, I think I'd like to help people in there, talk about things, and all of that.

leroy2007 · 2022-07-15T16:13:54+00:00

I have a weekly mens group in my backyard. I was dealing with a lot of mental health issues and came to realize that loneliness was really contributing to it as I didn’t really have any friends here in town anymore. I started to see from subreddits like this one that loneliness is incredibly common with men and it got me thinking about the idea of forming my own support group. I posted on my neighborhood FB page and Nextdoor asking if there were any men in the area who’d be interested in forming a support group. Got a lot of responses, enough that I got a little anxious about it, but most flaked and to make a long story short there are 4 of us now. We’ve been meeting my backyard every Sunday at 5pm for over a year and it’s been amazing.

There’s not really a structure to it and there’s no real “leader”. We just build a fire (weather permitting) and talk about stuff. Current events. Politics. Women. The steady deterioration of the social contract. Family problems. What good tv shows we’re watching. Our feelings. Books. And so on…

The neat thing about it, is that every one keeps showing up. It clearly means something to each of us. I know that for myself it’s a high point of the week. Also, I feel really good about myself for recognizing my problem of loneliness and taking action to do something about it.

SuspicousEggSmell · 2022-07-15T01:53:56+00:00

I think I’d prefer an anonymous forum

matrixislife · 2022-07-16T19:51:35+00:00

Men's sheds have had excellent results, the concept being go to learn a skill, woodworking or mechanics or metalwork, and while you're at it get to know the other guys there and talk about stuff, sometimes on a more formal basis.
Of course, once we found out they worked, the ~~councils~~ charity pulled funding for them.

devasiaachayan · 2022-07-15T01:35:45+00:00

Yes. But first rule will be that we won't talk about it

Dance_Sufficient · 2022-07-15T01:01:46+00:00

Said no, only because social interaction is stressful and support groups are a strange concept for me.

RavioliButtholi · 2022-07-15T11:19:33+00:00

I've thought about this exact scenario a lot.

I think it would need to be a community with doorways into assistance programs.

You join up to meet and hang out with other men. The program would need to have healthy shit to do; (wight lifting, martial arts, shop, ect.). The assistance programs would be available for anyone who needs them.

A lot of men I know hate asking for help. I was one of them. The way you circumvent that is A: making assistance available so it's their idea to get help. For example "I'll just go in and ask the therapist a quick question." or B: the social network the man in need joins will advise assistant programs. I had an easier time accepting help from good friends who understand me then anyone else.

Hope this helps man, good question.

MazerTag · 2022-07-15T13:41:53+00:00

If it included beer and throwing things at other things (axes, darts, bowling), then i would be more likely to join.

politicsthrowaway230 · 2022-07-15T17:17:01+00:00

No, because of the sort of press it would generate I wouldn't want to be associated with such a thing under my real name. A genuinely gender egalitarian group where men can talk without being drowned out by radfem slogans would be fine and is really all I wish for.

However, if you were to make this more specific to male domestic abuse/rape/etc. survivors, then that'd absolutely be something that'd get my support. The "gap in the market" for this is much more obvious and uncontroversial. (though may still attract controversial ideas that might make such a group unpopular)

RhinoNomad · 2022-07-18T09:09:58+00:00

Yes, but I'd have all the standards I have for communities. No gender hatred, no racism, transphobia etc.

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-07-26T22:02:25+00:00

One thing that I would caution against or at least very carefully think about is whether and how divisive topics like politics, religion and the likes are allowed to be discussed.

If everybody in the group has (roughly) the same view, it's pointless circle jerking and if opposing views are present, discussing it can poison, divide and break up the group.

Yet, it often has a lot influence on how people deal with their problems.

rochesterslim · 2022-07-15T01:53:31+00:00

i clicked no because my first thought was that is lame. kind of like fight club-he uses testicular cancer group but finds beating up other men more relieving. except i don’t want fight club either. what this means for my psyche-idk.

Valoxity-_- · 2022-07-15T10:26:59+00:00

Abso fucking lutly not

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