How do i stop myself from hating women?

anon018274031 · 2022-07-24T11:02:30+00:00

To answer your question bluntly- you have to accept your short comings are not a woman’s fault, we can change ourselves but we do not have a right to someone else’s body. Once you accept that (which it seems like you are on the way to doing) you can’t hate women, because you realise it just isn’t their fault, it’s your own.

Moving on to some of the other points in your post that I wanted to address. - it’s really good you’ve decided to make positive changes. Going to the gym and getting fitter not only makes you more attractive but it can actually be really good for your own mental health. Don’t get those gains for women, get them for yourself. You can get a real buzz from hitting goals at the gym! There are also a lot of communities surrounding being into fitness, so if you miss that sense of support you maybe got from incel groups then gym groups is a good way to go about getting it back. Hopefully your gym journey goes well. - with regards to the comments of money. You imply not having an inheritance puts you at a disadvantage. MOST people in their 20’s won’t have any inheritance. Money doesn’t get handed to you on a plate (or any average person). You have to earn it. This is a GOOD thing. It’s a changeable thing! - your attitude is generally very ‘woe me I’m a victim’. We all have to work to get relationships we desire. Men and women. The average women on the street didn’t wake up looking like that. You have to put a bit of effort in mate. There is someone out there for most people, if they just put the effort in and don’t just go for models. Ignore online info. Think about real life. I see ugly, poor couples everyday. I have friends who are physically disabled, friends who have mental disabilities, friends who are mentally ill, friends who are objectively petty ugly etc and they have all had relationships. I have friends who are broke in relationships. Just look at the real world or ‘touch the grass’ as they say. It will help keep you grounded and stop you spiralling.

ChocolatChipLemonade · 2022-07-24T11:31:39+00:00

If a 10/10 guy is nearby, I’m going to ignore him. What am I supposed to do? Stare at him? Plus men don’t respect women that they don’t have to chase (so we’re taught), so if I start up a conversation, I’m easy. Then, if a man is looking at me, I look up and smile, but he’s actually looking at something on the shelving behind me, now I’m embarrassed. Point is, I promise you, women are also going through a whole array of thoughts that we aren’t good enough. We’re sad to be single and think it’s something wrong with us, we can’t catch the attention of any man.

geekosopher · 2022-07-24T11:45:50+00:00

Very serious advice: a good therapist.

Not in a dismissive way. I wish I had reached out for professional help at 19. I'm doing the work in my 30s now. You'll have a mental health head start on me by a decade.

If you're unable to afford it, there are tons of Pro Bono options. Seriously, just start asking therapist offices if they have pro Bono services or if they can direct you somewhere where they do.

It's super obvious that you have really bad self esteem issues that go way beyond your success with women. Calling yourself a loser and ugly? That's not healthy. Even ugly losers don't think of themselves like that if they have decent mental health. You probably think you're just being "realistic" with yourself, but that's not how it works at all.

You need some self compassion. If you can't treat yourself like a wonderful friend, you can't treat a potential partner as a wonderful friend. Be nicer to yourself. Forgive yourself for your flaws. Then you can move forward.

SweelFor- · 2022-07-24T12:12:13+00:00

I recommend therapy

Snoo52682 · 2022-07-24T11:46:23+00:00

I know you want to deal with your romantic problems, but you were an abused child. You have a shitload of issues from that and need to work some of them out first. You gotta start with your foundation, and that's it. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk is a good book to start with.

If you don't sort out some of the damage that was done to you, you won't make good choices about partners and relationships--or careers and bosses.

neoexileee · 2022-07-24T13:02:05+00:00

If you want advice, my first advice is probably to find a therapist. When there are a lot of personal issues like this, you need someone to sit with you and break items down one by one. This isn't an attack on you; I personally went to therapy and the situation changed to the point where I'm now married and have a 6 figure job.

Reddit, where it's just random people replying and you don't know who they are or what credentials they have, is probably not the place for this.

Spinning4plates · 2022-07-24T12:04:47+00:00

Get therapy as well as work on yourself.

I suggest you also post this on r/Healthygamergg

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MrVWeiss · 2022-07-24T13:12:54+00:00

Find a career path that you truly enjoy. This is step number 1 to be confident and meet people (which, of course, includes women). Plus, 5'8" is far from short in the USA. Don't even think about that.

houseunderpool · 2022-07-24T13:53:38+00:00

Focus on honing in on skill sets, place all your energy there, many do so and find their partner along the way

Title	How do i stop myself from hating women?
Author	depressing_future
Upvotes	5
Comments	32
Date	July 24, 2022 10:50 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/w6sv7d/how_do_i_stop_myself_from_hating_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-stop-myself-from-hating-women.1125033 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125033

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