Just went to drop off the kids.

During the last years of our marriage the stbx who was a SAHM let it all slide. Didn't take care of herself, didn't maintain the house etc only thing i could really count on was being fed and she is a good cook so i'll give her that. But honestly she started looking like a trailer park trash mother and our house was plain filthy. I tried a lot like helping out more but that would just mean she would do even less. And me being in the army meant i was away on filed exercises and stuff often, coming home honestly it looked more like a warzone then our exercise. Do you find being a SAHM not satisfying, and rather get a job and a house keeper? "No i don't ever want a job again". Is there something wrong? What do you want? Could you be depressed? etc etc etc, i never figured it out.

Now we have been separated for a couple off months and she does al those things her place is clean, putting effort into herself, has a full time job etc.

And it stings. I wanted things to work for us and tried/ was willing to try anything but she chose divorce. Can't see how it is better for any off us Her, me, the 4 kids (only 2 that are mine)