My best friends of 10+ years had a cold reaction to my engagement

jtriangle · 2022-08-15T20:03:24+00:00

How can I approach this situation more gracefully?

You don't.

Keep an eye on them for any behavior that may be subverting your relationship, but otherwise, this changes nothing. You've got a wedding to plan, and a marriage in your future, both of which are more important than facebook likes, or even the friends you had previously.

abishagofthevalley · 2022-08-15T19:42:31+00:00

Even if they're petty - which, maybe - let them be. Im not sure how bringing it up would help anyone. Ive been petty myself sometimes and Im glad nobody noticed or at least had the grace to not address my lack of picture perfect reaction. I had time to recompose and reframe and nobody got hurt in the process.

sunglasses90 · 2022-08-15T20:24:43+00:00

The most poised reaction from you is to do nothing differently and say nothing. Have the confidence to not need other peoples validation. I know that’s hard, especially with best friends, but starting drama or jealousy talk is never going to end well.

SunshineSundress · 2022-08-15T19:29:14+00:00

So you’re mad at them…for congratulating you…giving you a hug…and liking but not “hearting” your facebook post?

I think you’re making something out of nothing. It sounds more like you’re being petty more than they are. What they did sounds perfectly fine. Does a facebook heart really mean that much to you?

LaneyAndPen · 2022-08-15T20:08:49+00:00

I suffer from anxiety, and have had the same thoughts as you in different contexts, so my advice would be to acknowledge that you feel the way you do, step back and reflect on how you’re reacting, and turn your energy onto more pressing things, like your engagement and wedding! Congratulations by the way! If it continues to bother you, best to confront them like “hey! I know it sounds a bit silly but I’m a little worried you’re being a bit distant about my engagement, is there anything up?” And you’ll have a concrete answer rather than a bunch of hypotheticals running through your mind

Lakechrista · 2022-08-15T20:59:21+00:00

My friends would have disowned me years ago if our friendship was decided by how many 'likes' I put on their post. Hurt over the lack of 'likes' on a post and you automatically assume they are jealous???? You never would have heard of this 20 years ago. Not everybody is obsessed with social media and 'liking' posts from even our closest friends.

sunlitroof · 2022-08-15T20:17:11+00:00

For right now, its possible you may be incorrectly assuming or these may be small hints of jealousy, either way it seems mostly harmless now so I wouldnt say anything. Sometimes people have to sort out their emotions on their own or can be a misunderstanding. If it turns into them mistreating you in any way that may warrant a response.

Jenneapolis · 2022-08-15T21:25:23+00:00

I probably had a less than stellar reaction to both my younger brothers announcing their babies on the way. I did the same, cold congrats and hug. I was happy for them but it still hurt for me as the older sister who always wanted kids (and wanted them first). I would say have some compassion for them and their own emotions. They were not rude to you in any way so just let it go.

redditemployee69 · 2022-08-15T23:33:43+00:00

If you bring it up to them be prepared to be in a big argument and possibly lose them as friends. They may think the reacted just fine and will instead think your trying to find fault with them. Forget it and move past it be an adult

kayama57 · 2022-08-15T20:37:58+00:00

If you were my fiancé I would deeply wish that you could look past it for the short term and that your friends would continue to demonstrate friendship the way you like it in the long term. It could be that they feel jealous or it could be that they don’t like the guy. Maybe they think it’s too soon but it’s none of their business to actually interupt your flow with their opinion. So many possibilities, so few of them mean that they don’t love you

SereneDesiree · 2022-08-15T23:46:08+00:00

Is there a chance there's another reason for their reaction? Perhaps don't like your partner? Or don't think you two are a good match?

BePrivateGirl · 2022-08-16T04:12:03+00:00

Questions:

1) how good of friends are these? Have you gone through trials and tribulations with them and assessed that they are true and mature friends that are beneficial to your life?

2) how well do they know this man, do you keep him secret, or has he interacted with your friend group?

3) getting upset about hearts vs likes on social media seems immature. Are you looking for hearts on your Facebook page, or a LIFELONG COMMITMENT. Are hearts vs likes going to change your mind?

That’s a red flag on you.

Annual_Couple5053 · 2022-08-16T05:28:27+00:00

Maybe they know something about the guy you don’t

sweetiewrap · 2022-08-16T05:58:14+00:00

My first thought was that they don't like your fiance

SplenduhP0py · 2022-08-16T20:50:06+00:00

Imo don’t escalate things yet. Wait it out. See how things change. You gotta understand that their reactions were probably subconscious due to reasons you stated.

If they continue to be petty and cold. Then address then.

Icy-Wallaby4326 · 2022-08-16T04:31:24+00:00

Have compassion for them.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-08-16T06:39:59+00:00

Let it go. Women do not have friends; they have rivals. Sometimes, I think female friendship can only and exist in between generations.

only liked my Facebook post with the announcement instead of giving a heart (which they always do on my other posts/photos).

Is it actually a thing? Because if it is, that is some Inception – level sub text.

Verdict: Your friends are jelly. Let it go, and go be happy.

Glad-Discount-4761 · 2022-08-16T04:06:29+00:00

I experienced same. Listen,Some will try to sabotage your relationship. Always remember,"Women are women's worst enemy".I can feel that energy in your friends circle . You can end this friendship as you lose friends with age anyway.You will get married and priorities will change.Your life will be better if you have only one loyal female friend or not much female friends

So don't give a fuck about it

aslanhatessmeagol · 2022-08-18T12:32:32+00:00

Maybe they feel jealous (not in a toxic way.feeling jealous is normal)but it doesn't mean they aren't happy for you or they are sad because they probably thought they would lose you (the friendship).As long as they dont try to sabotage your relationship,it is fine.

As for the likes,dont think too much about it. Be happy and live your life.

ssnmeen · 2022-08-19T09:38:54+00:00

your guess is your gut and your gut is right

Title	My best friends of 10+ years had a cold reaction to my engagement
Author	valkure_
Upvotes	54
Comments	33
Date	August 15, 2022 7:21 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/wp8b48/my_best_friends_of_10_years_had_a_cold_reaction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-best-friends-of-10-years-had-a-cold-reaction-to.1127908 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127908

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