What is some everyday sexism that men have to face?

Punder_man · 2022-08-20T04:18:26+00:00

Looks like we have some lists going on..
At the moment I would add:

"The expectation that men need to change their behavior or potentially put themselves in danger to spare a woman from 'feeling' uncomfortable"

As a practical example, Men are expected to cross the street, stop walking, take an alternative route or even go down a dark alleyway if they are walking behind a woman on the street to spare her from 'feeling' unsafe.

Never mind that this could lead the man into himself being put into danger..

Next I would bring up "Men with Children"
If you are a man with a child(ren) with you you are seen as a creep rather as a caregiver.
If the child is young (infant) and you are trying to change their diaper you WILL get unsolicited parenting advice from women who believe that as a man you are simply too stupid to know better than them.

Or if you are at a playground or a shopping mall you can end up with the police approaching you because "A member of the public was concerned that you were kidnapping a child"

Its fucking bullshit and is really sad because after a couple of these incidents I decided to stop taking my niece (whom I love very much) out by myself to the mall or the park because it wasn't worth the stress.

DeadSkullMonkey · 2022-08-20T03:54:57+00:00

Chivalry & (Vestigial Victorian) Etiquette

General chivalric principles of good etiquette and social preference for the weaker sex, such as:

“Ladies and Gentlemen…”
“Ladies first.”
Never strike a woman.
“On the pavement, always walk to the outside.”
“Always remain standing if a lady is standing in the room.”
Offer your seat to a woman if she is standing and you are seated.
Open doors for women.

Other (More Modern) Bullshit

General coddling of women and #MeToo nonsense.

The expectation that men ought to allow women to discuss their emotions, ad nauseam, without trying to “fix” the problem (no matter how stupid or painfully obvious the situation is).
“Believe all women.” (Instead of believing facts.)
“Girl power!” ✊🏻
The cultural / social assumption that if you’re not a feminist, you’re a misogynist.
“Be a man!”
“Take it like a man!”
“Man up!”

Systemic Sexism

Sexism baked into the cake of modern society.

Family Law biased in favor of women.
Employment / Discrimination laws and regulations that benefit women at the expense of men.
Hiring quotas.
General social blindness to violations of men’s rights (e.g., women who rape, assault, or psychologically abuse men).
Education standards and models that implicitly and inherently favor girls / women, emasculate men / boys, and promote [Third Wave] Structural Feminism.

NeoVidia · 2022-08-20T04:00:43+00:00

This is one of those questions where I’ll probably think of 20 more things throughout the day.

But a few are: - The way you’re treated in any place, you’ll always be a monster until proven otherwise. - Big dick/small dick energy - there are very rare if any men’s exclusive places, we’re expected to share - There are no events celebrating men - There are no men’s nights - SA against men is playful - Forcing yourself on men is playful - Aggression against men is their fault - Being around children is met with suspicion - Being around a woman is met with suspicion - Being expected to make the first move - Being expected to stand in harms way - The difference clothing choices and fashion - There is rarely “sexy” men’s clothing that is generally acceptable - Expected to not be scared - Expected that you can handle it - Expected that you can always solve a problem

I’m bored now but this is off the top or my head.

Edit: forgot a big one: The world would be better it all men we’re gone (dead)

TheSnesLord · 2022-08-20T04:30:54+00:00

There's too many things, but one that comes to mind is that when dating, men are not allowed to have any standards when dating women; but women are allowed to have checkbox demands when dating men.

National_One_4990 · 2022-08-20T08:22:47+00:00

Circumcision. I genuinely cannot understand why it’s yet another thing for America to do different. It’s needless and barbaric.

odysseytree · 2022-08-20T07:26:30+00:00

Gender quota.

LettuceBeGrateful · 2022-08-21T02:15:12+00:00

Hyperagency.

When men talk about our issues, we are so often met with "well then why don't you do anything to FIX it!!!" Like, jeez, if I had a nickel for every time a male DV victim lamented the lack of men's shelters, and people responded to him with "then why don't you fucking start one, instead of complaining on the internet"...I'd have a lot of nickels.

People get angry at men when we share our problems and frustrations, and we're just expected to up and fix them. Sometimes, we want empathy. Sometimes, we're just looking for basic acknowledgement of these issues, which is really the bare minimum we could ask for. But instead, people get furious. Even taking a few seconds out of their day to acknowledge systemic men's issues is dismissed as misogyny. It's exhausting.

Logical-Chaos-154 · 2022-08-20T14:54:35+00:00

Every action is taken as sexual. Say "Hi" to a woman? Obviously trying to get in her pants. Walk past a park? Obviously a pedo. Hug your buddy? Obviously gay.

Ans so on and so on. We get accused of sexualizing women all the time. The reality? They've sexualuzed us. It a very bad way.

DavidByron2 · 2022-08-20T16:10:54+00:00

Men are 2nd class citizens who suffer under institutionalized and legal discrimination at every level. As a question it's kind of like asking, "Sure slaves have that whole slavery thing against them, but what sort of every day abuse do slaves suffer?"

Well I might say, that should be easy, slaves get forced to work. Oh but that's the slavery thing itself; it's not an everyday abuse, you say. Well OK slaves can get whipped a lot does that count? No you say, that's the slavery itself again. It's not "everyday* abuse.

So I'm using this metaphor because everybody here knows of the gross discrimination men suffer in law and with key institutions like the law courts, the police, colleges and work, hospitals and so on. But I guess none of that counts in your view? What does everyday sexism mean?

Do you mean the way that every time a man and a woman interact the man has to be conscious of their second class status and defer to the woman? Like a slave would have to be conscious of their second class status when they interacted with a non-slave?

fatbitchonline · 2022-08-21T01:02:56+00:00

when women assault men and those men are expected to not defend themselves lmao

marks1995 · 2022-08-21T03:15:55+00:00

Not once, but twice I was at a dance competition to watch my daughter and had security come ask me what I was doing. Both times I was literally just sitting in the audience by myself waiting for her group to perform.

Didn't see them come ask any of the hundreds of moms what they were doing.

sanem48 · 2022-08-20T15:38:08+00:00

When a woman wants to hook up with me but I refuse her because she's not my type, I'm an a$$hole.

If I refuse her it because I don't want to break her heart, I'm an a$$hole.

If I tell her I'm not looking for anything serious, she says neither is she, we hook up and I don't want anything serious but she does, I'm an a$$hole.

Basically as a man you're always the a$$hole, even if she asked for it and you tried to do the right thing.

PactScharp · 2022-08-20T21:22:51+00:00

Being treated as a danger. A creep. A potential rapist or killer.

Used to not bother me at all... even showed sympathy for it towards the women... went out of my way to make them feel "comfortable" (when walking behind them in public I mean, I just crossed the street to pass them, stuff like that).

Then I realized just how fucked up that is, that I am EXPECTED to cater to women's paranoid feelings of delusions & misandry, and that if I don't, I'm somehow a dirty, misogynistic, piece of shit & should die.

Of course, when you switch "women" with "white people" & "men" with "black people"... suddenly EVERYONE understands why such social dynamics are disgusting and horribly bigoted.

"You black strangers make me feel uncomfortable on the street. As a white person, I can't tell which one of you blacks are criminals and are about to rob or kill me, and which ones are okay. So you black people need to be aware of that & pander to my fear by going out of your way to make me feel safe. Go and cross the street. Protect me when other blacks are harassing me. Check your black peers. Hold them accountable"

That is some of the most Nazi, apartheid bullshit anyone could ever say. And yet, it's EXACTLY... word for fucking word... what so many women unashamedly & contemptuously now tell men. And we're just supposed to take this. It's not "systemic sexism" at all, or whatever BS buzzword they love to use.

And it's not just the physical aspect... as a man, you're just assumed to be a shitty person in general & you're DEFINITELY assumed to have no problems in your life.

Couple of weeks ago, my niece came to visit with a couple of friends. I love my niece. She's awesome. She's funny, smart, social, not crazy, doesn't take herself too seriously, etc. And even though I know she used to cringe at all this feminist horseshit, over the years (basically since she started college), she's delved more & more into the radical "woke" politics. Put simply, Unis are an ideological brainwashing ground where young women specifically are being groomed into becoming leftist pawns. And unfortunately, she has fallen victim to that as well, at least to some degree.

Anyway, we got the point where we discussed if we wanted kids & what gender we'd prefer. The guys gave their answers, most said they want kids & the gender was mixed but always clarified with "but the gender doesn't really matter anyway". I did the same, said I'd like to have kids one day & that if I could only have one kid, I'd prefer to have a girl, but again, it's not like I wouldn't love a boy either.

Then it got to the women answering it, specifically my niece... and first of all, she said how she didn't want kids. Or at least she didn't want to ever be pregnant. Why? Because basically she believes that pregnancy completely fucks up your body (we were treading heavily into the whole "babies are parasites" territory that so many feminists believe nowadays). She said she'd prefer adoption.

Then when we got to the gender, she said "WITHOUT A DOUBT A BOY". It wasn't like how I said I'd prefer a girl. I know it's biased & wrong to say/think this, but I can't lie about how I feel (guess I should call it my """internalized misandry""" or some crap), I simply feel more paternal & protective over girls than I do boys. I feel a greater desire to "care" for them. But again, it's not like I wouldn't want a boy & this is ALL based on the idea that I could only have "one" kid. If I could have two kids, I'd obviously want both genders. In other words, my desire to have a daughter stems from my love for women. I can't put it any other way.

But my niece however, didn't want a boy because she "loves" men/boys. She wants a boy because she FLAT OUT SAID, explicitly, that a boy would never experience anything bad & that she would never have to worry at all about him. In other words, she doesn't want a girl because (and these are her words), she wouldn't want to raise a girl in such a "horrible world".

I'm not gonna lie, her comments fucking destroyed me on so many levels. First of all, that my own blood has SUCH a negative view of the world & our society. We live in the very BEST time ever, the fuck is she talking about? And then about the whole "I wouldn't have to worry about a boy" bullshit. Uggghh.. what??? I literally asked her "what do you even mean?" (Of course, I knew exactly what she was gonna say, we men here have heard it all a thousand times before), and she immediately said "you don't know all the crap that we women experience".

I asked her: "like what?" & she answered "we might literally get assaulted or killed when we're out alone". I cringed of course & then said "okay, that "might" indeed happen... but statistically, men are much more likely to be killed & assaulted". She didn't even deny it, she said "yeah but you men are so aggressive!"

It's like bruh... I'm not gonna deny that men being more aggressive & willing to protest/resist is part of the reason why they get attacked/killed more... but that doesn't change the fact that if she were to ever have a boy, he'd be much MORE likely to be killed/beaten/robbed walking home alone at night than any daughter of hers ever would. But somehow, that doesn't seem to matter to women. Again, my niece is great. She's not some harpie, man-hating feminist who can't take a joke. But these extremely negative ideas are things she's been brainwashed to believe after years of University indoctrination.

The fact that she would say that about her OWN gender (not having a daughter) also deeply worries me. Sure, I also said I'd prefer the opposite sex. But that's just it. PREFER. And my preference isn't based on my assumed "privilege" she would have. I know if I had a boy, he'd likely face more issues & a harsher life overall, but that's got nothing to do with my preference. And I'd be just as happy if my kid was male. But for my niece, it wasn't a "preference", but a demand. Because we men are apparently so fucking awful to women.

I later spoke about this conversation with my brother (who is extremely close with her, more than me) & he said basically what I said here: "she's great, but when it comes to this "woke" stuff, her friends & Uni have forced such a toxic mindset unto her". Ironically, I don't think my niece could even begin to imagine what it would be like if she was in my shoes. Granted, many things I've experienced aren't specifically "because" I'm male. But MANY other things ARE. And she is clueless to them. Like, the point she made about how "men only get attacked because they're aggressive". I told her "I've been attacked, yet I've never been aggressive". She couldn't believe I was ever attacked. I said "sure, what's so strange about it? Most guys have been & most of it wasn't "that" bad". But I found it ironic because she was complaining about how "awful" her life is "as a woman" (in this regard at least), yet out of the two of us, I am the ONLY ONE who has actually EVER been attacked, robbed, punched, spat on, etc. She never experienced ANY of that. She's just AFRAID she might and that's all it boils down to for women. They're AFRAID & they use that fear to argue they're less privileged than men.

Sure, women are more afraid than men. But as I said, that doesn't change the fact that more men are attacked.

Long story short, it's these types of stories, attitudes & beliefs that I have to "deal with" on a regular basis & I'm not going to lie, it's extremely depressing.

glock3299 · 2022-08-21T03:01:06+00:00

If you're circumcised seeing your penis everyday.

DoingItToEm · 2022-08-21T05:37:01+00:00

Several things, like the assumption that you aren’t a parent, or that you could be a creep if you’re going in the same direction as someone at night, or even the inability to have emotionally vulnerable relationships with other men.

None of it is in the same plane of existence as sexism against women though. Men don’t have to fear for their lives when doing something as simple as walking alone after dark.

NDN2021 · 2022-08-20T09:34:38+00:00

Being a victim of reputational damage. Something small like a minor disagreement, can be turned into something big and twisted more times than anything.

Agreed on circumision. Luckily here in the UK it's not a thing, but it shouldn't be allowed. I do feel for most men here in born in the 60s and 70s that had to go through it.

Strong-Menu-1852 · 2022-08-20T14:05:46+00:00

You're a big strong man, can you carry this for me?

as if I have any choice but to say yes or be called trash

maxjets666 · 2022-08-20T15:36:49+00:00

I worked retail for 7 yrs. I put my name in for a promotion in my department. Some girl who just started working (she was 19) got the job over me. In another department this same thing happened. A group of guys applied (they had decades of experience) and they gave it to a woman who had no experience at all.

mechajutaro · 2022-08-20T10:16:48+00:00

Dunno if this counts as "sexism", or if it's more apt for us to write it off as simple ignorance and prejudice, nonetheless:

If you're a guy, there's no discussing the problems with rape shield laws and the monstrous ways in which Title IX "prosecutes" rape accusations on university campuses around the nation with a woman/more than one woman, unless you've built substantial rapport with her/them already. Even then, there's a strong chance that the ladies will initially have a knee jerk reaction to what you're saying. If your goal is to persuade more people in the general public to come around to your/our point of view on this subject(reforms and abolition are necessary), it's incumbent upon you to retain your composure, and proceed to elaborate upon the many ways in which rape shield laws* and Title IX star chambers harm women also**

The same isn't true for women, at least not here in the contemporary US anyway. For the most part, the ladies can walk up to just about anyone and start groaning over all the ways in which the criminal justice system allegedly doesn't do enough for alleged rape victims, no rapport building required. Frequently enough, people will sympathize with them without a moment's hesitation, and not offer much resistance to even the most hair-brained and draconian legislative changes that are proposed

*These same laws often prevent female suspects who are accused of hopping into bed with underage boys from presenting evidence at trial that, at least in many of these cases, said boys were hardly non-resistant to her advances, even boasting about their dalliance with an older woman to friends several times. If we're serious about reforming rape shield laws, this is going to apply to both male and female defendants alike

**As of this writing, at least a couple of female students have also run afoul of Title IX star chambers, and been expelled unjustly as a result. Even if we are to look solely at the male students who've found themselves in such a predicament, let's all note that these men had immediate families who suffered right alongside them; families made up of men AND women alike. Our entire nation is harmed, when folks are denied secondary education, and with that, a path to upward mobility. As long as we keep treating "men's problems" as ills which only apply to men, rather than troubles which pose a menace to America, we'll continue to remain a niche hobby among a few people online

Net_Flux3 · 2022-08-20T10:03:47+00:00

mansplaining and catcalling

lol. You want to call these "issues" and "sexism", that too ones only women face?

2022-08-20T19:07:57+00:00

Denial of sex. “That’s all you ever think about”. Well yeah it is because I never get sex.

Qantourisc · 2022-08-20T19:44:03+00:00

Emotional neglect.

RearwindowPinecone · 2022-08-20T15:31:27+00:00

males commit sexual harassment

biscuitheque · 2022-08-20T20:33:04+00:00

A few, off the top of my head (apologies if they are repeated here):

To be Johnny-on-the-spot in any emergency whether at work or any other environment. Expected to act and do the right thing.

Chivalry. Still isn't completed dead. If you don't open doors, let someone have your seat, you get funny looks.

Every woman after dark assumes you are a rapist. Because rapists like to rape after dinner and are allergic to sunlight.

Expected to be a man. Like it's a natural thing. But if you're not a man you are shamed.

You'd better keep your eyes to yourself, pervert. Even if my tits and ass are 90% on display. Pervert.

The suspicion that a lone male must be up to no good. Because men bad.

Man-up. My response 'woman up' or 'fuck off.'

You must fix the car, the plumbing, mow the lawn, xyz Because you're a man. And if you can't you're not a man.

Ptoney1 · 2022-08-20T23:28:22+00:00

Moving and lifting heavy shit. Women would never.

You can be living your life and out the blue here come help me move this couch.

baldwin1975 · 2022-08-21T03:18:41+00:00

The casual and unchallenged discriminatory and belittling “jokes” and anti male tropes thrown around by some (and it’s a sizeable proportion) women in everyday group situations. The sorts of things that equivalent comments about women have long and rightly been accepted (by all apart from an ignorant or provocative minority) to be damaging and unacceptable. More often than not the fellow females in the group will either openly agree and support, laugh and write it off as a joke but very rarely challenge. The males will sit and take it while feeling awkward or force a laugh in order not to instigate a full scale gender debate. If one of them breaks ranks and challenges the comment they are likely to be shouted down, ridiculed, accused of either over sensitivity or misogyny while the other males continue to keep their head down and avoid getting embroiled in an unsolvable and divisive “girls vs boys” shit storm.

It may just be the circles I move in and experiences I’ve had but there seems to be a basic but obvious difference in the desire to make those of the opposite sex feel comfortable, respected and included in a mixed group.

Another basic and nonsensical yet common attitude and argument is that a man or all men born and raised in modern, fairer and equal times should somehow bear responsibility for historic attitudes, injustices and rules made by a very small group of powerful men (for their own gain not some overarching motivation or actual outcome that benefits all men - actually far from it). This is regularly used to justify any misandry or disparity affecting men and the application of comments or attitudes towards men that are rightly not acceptable if the equivalent is applied to women.this is despite the face that the man/men had no part in the issue in question, accepts that it was wrong, has no desire for or belief that it should ever return and the women/woman has not experienced or suffered from them.

Title	What is some everyday sexism that men have to face?
Author	bloodfuel
Upvotes	30
Comments	81
Date	August 20, 2022 3:37 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wsx7y5/what_is_some_everyday_sexism_that_men_have_to_face/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-is-some-everyday-sexism-that-men-have-to-face.1128755 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128755

Comments

Chivalry & (Vestigial Victorian) Etiquette

Other (More Modern) Bullshit

Systemic Sexism