Petitioning to lower child support

RideATX · 2022-09-02T19:12:00+00:00

I completely get where you're coming from, it makes perfect sense. But I hate to tell you this, nobody gives a shit that you have them after school. Nobody who makes decisions on these things has the time, energy or gives a fuck enough to get into the nuance of your case. Hence they look at overnights and only overnights. You got screwed by her lawyer and probably yours as well. It's an old trick, secure 183+ nights for the mom, let the dad feel like he's won because he gets to see his kids every day. Then file for guideline support based on the number of overnights after it's all settled.

In one sense, you've won because you do get to see your kids every day. But you're also just free child care for her on days she technically has possession. Sorry man, you need a really good lawyer who knows the judge to have any shot in my opinion... and that is going to cost a lot of $. I hope the next guy reads this and avoids your current situation.

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2022-09-02T19:00:30+00:00

Are you legally obligated to pay for half of everything on top of child support?

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2022-09-02T22:22:48+00:00

Stop taking the kids every day. I know it sux not to see your kids but the only way she might become amenable to changing the sweetheart deal she has is if it starts to inconvenience her. Otherwise you are stuck. As someone said, judges don't care. And being the nice guy will screw you over almost every time.

mehmench · 2022-09-02T22:17:51+00:00

Your ex-wife played you. Do you have a dispute resolution process in your divorce judgement and if so what does it say? If there is one then before she can file for a modification, you usually have to go to mediation first. Even if she does file for child-support she may be required to go to mediation first.

Get an attorney and file for 50/50 custody. Period. Don't accept anything less. Go into debt if you have to. Get it. Your kids need it.

In mediation your ex will try to work you over. Do not give in until you have 50/50 custody. There is no reason it should be otherwise if you're able to do what you're doing. She took advantage of your willingness to support your children. Now you know that she is not your friend, not on your side and doesn't have yours or your kids best interests at heart. Especially if she makes more money than you AND wants child support.

If a man were doing that - he's be skewered.

I cannot stress that you need an attorney. Borrow from friends if you have to but also, have him ask for attorney's fees in his filing if she's unwilling to collaborate and be settlement oriented.

Where are you located? If the jurisdiction is more parent agnostic (not focused on the mother but instead what's best for the children) then her attorney will probably indicate she should settle. If she offers less than 50/50 ask why? Why isn't in the best interest of the children? Then since she makes more money - ask for child support. She's already opened that door.

When you're paying child support, expenses that have been discussed and have prior mutual agreement (key words) are split 50/50. There isn't anything wrong with that (though my ex likes to sit on expenses for months at a time).

leviathynx · 2022-09-02T22:25:35+00:00

I’ve seen it done in states with more progressive laws. In WA state for example, the child support is calculated on income but also the amount of parenting time to both parties.

cdjohnny · 2022-09-03T13:45:42+00:00

Most states base it on overnights as well as income. If she has the majority of the overnights, you're going to pay. In MI, expenses are generally considered the responsibility of the parent being paid. You should check and see what your state typically does in case they just scammed you in to it. It would seem pretty likely that a judge would consider making those late nights overnight visits if you're able to drop them off to school in the a.m. I did every other Fri night through Monday a.m., plus one overnight during the weekday. I also did it myself; didn't use a lawyer. If you can figure out the process (motions, hearing requests, protocol for submissions) it was actually pretty easy.

Title	Petitioning to lower child support
Author	KermieJagger
Upvotes	6
Comments	16
Date	September 2, 2022 6:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/x49fhz/petitioning_to_lower_child_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/petitioning-to-lower-child-support.1130346 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130346

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