Stood up for myself for the first time in a relationship. My girlfriend has not contacted me in 4 day.

House-of-Questions · 2022-10-31T15:28:42+00:00

Am I the only one wondering what exactly he did to "stand up for himself" or am I missing something? This entire thread people are calling her a bitch but we don't even know what happened. Not saying OP is lying at all, but "I stood up for myself and she left" isn't much to go on.

For example, if he stands up for himself by calling her names or acting aggressive, then of course she leaves. I would too.

But if she was pressuring him into doing stuff he didn't want to do and when he put his foot down she left, then good riddance, and OP can find a non-abusive partner.

I can't really.. make a judgment due to this insane lack of context.

SweelFor- · 2022-10-31T13:26:32+00:00

If it is the end of your relationship then good for you, ending relationships with abusive people is a good thing

fathergoose77 · 2022-10-31T16:55:38+00:00

What boundary did you set that she did not respect? And what was the condition of your boundary?

From you previous post, you wanted to set boundaries so she does not talk to you in a rude and aggressive manner, there is nothing wrong with establishing this in a relationship. That’s a healthy boundary to have.

BUT what you seem to not understand is people who want to manipulate/use someone DO NOT LIKE boundaries for obvious reasons. You are taking away their control over you.

So ask yourself, why is she upset about you setting boundaries? Why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to treat you respectfully?

You are paying attention too much to the fact that she’s upset with you and you’re ignoring the fact that she is upset at you for telling her not to yell and scream at you. That doesn’t sound like someone you should be in a relationship with, unless you are leaving something very important out of your story.

wonderingman202353 · 2022-10-31T23:44:10+00:00

This is all my fault. Had I not been a wimp and stood up for myself from the beginning this would not happen. Yeah I would have probably got broken up with still but at least I would have been real with myself.

Edit: What if instead of being scared of being alone. I fully and overly embraced it. What if I accept that I may die alone and that's okay. I'll continue working on myself and be happy by myself from here on out. Nobody owes me a relationship or is it their jobs to make me comfortable in a relationship. I'm out.

xvszero · 2022-10-31T22:50:03+00:00

If she can't handle you standing up for yourself even once, she's not someone you should be considering having a partnership with.

What did you stand up for yourself about?

Naus1987 · 2022-10-31T16:28:58+00:00

Most relationships don’t endure change well. You changed the dynamic. It’s different from how it started.

Let it go, and then when you start a new relationship, begin with your desired personality. Don’t change over time. People hate that!

Unless you grow together. That’s good. But individual changes are speed bumps that can throw any relationship in peril

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-10-31T17:31:09+00:00

Sounds like you have outgrown her. You have laid down your expectations for the relationship. She will decide whether she is okay with that (probably not).

Tostitos153 · 2022-11-01T03:01:05+00:00

What happened?

pssiraj · 2022-11-01T06:00:43+00:00

I'm certainly not a RedPiller, but one piece of advice might be relevant here: you're in her frame. You're not taking legitimate advice that's been offered here, and are ignoring attempts to both understand and help you.

Title	Stood up for myself for the first time in a relationship. My girlfriend has not contacted me in 4 day.
Author	wonderingman202353
Upvotes	35
Comments	54
Date	October 31, 2022 1:12 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/yibs9k/stood_up_for_myself_for_the_first_time_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/stood-up-for-myself-for-the-first-time-in-a.1137590 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137590

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