I don't think men "see" messes and dirt as they actually exist

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-11-20T12:28:19+00:00

No rants

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2022-11-20T11:50:35+00:00

Me and my girl have this problem. You both have different cleanliness standards. It depends how your raised.

MyLastBestChance · 2022-11-20T12:02:43+00:00

They see it. They know it’s there, they just don’t want to be the one to clean it. They think if they do a crappy enough job you will eventually stop asking and just do it yourself.

duskst0ne · 2022-11-20T12:04:23+00:00

Copy exactly what he's doing and stop cleaning up after yourself, particularly in ways that inconvenience him. He doesn't see his messes because he doesn't HAVE to - he knows you'll finish the job if he half-asses everything. Leave the dishes that you know he will want to use dirty in the sink. Tell him that you did his laundry and just leave it in the dryer. Intentionally don't sweep the floors when he invites people over.

Everyone has a higher tolerance for THEIR OWN messes and gets pissed when someone else inconveniences them. If you've ever lived alone, you probably know that waking up and finding your own dishes in the sink is significantly less annoying than when it's someone else's dishes, especially if you cleaned up after cooking your own dinner the night before. So you end up with this dynamic in a lot of relationships where the man is never inconvenienced by the woman's messes, because she cleans up after herself, and he doesn't get why it's such a big deal when 100% of the messes are caused by him (and will probably magically disappear if he just ignores them long enough).

This "men just don't see messes" is absolute bullshit. If men had that little ability to pay attention to detail, they should be prevented from working a lot of jobs for the safety of society.

NJFlowerchild · 2022-11-20T11:55:52+00:00

You have 2 different problems that need addressed separately. "You're only doing half of the job and calling it done. The dishes or laundry are clean, but not put away. I don't like needing to finish tasks that you said you handled." The dust, dirt, and not sweeping are separate issues. "I don't want you to say that you cleaned the kitchen when you mean that straightened up. You didn't clean the kitchen. You washed dishes. Cleaning the kitchen means wiping down the entire kitchen and sweeping the floor."

Ok-Map-7596 · 2022-11-20T12:13:52+00:00

It's called weaponized incompetence. If you do a terrible job when she ask you to clean enough times she won't ask anymore.

Men don't like being around dirty, unorganized environments any more than women do.

Demasii · 2022-11-20T12:19:36+00:00

Men in general seem to have a lower standard of what is considered clean.

I personally don't mind clean dry laundry unfolded but kitchen gotta be on point because that's where food is prepped.

It's the price of the relationship at this point.

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cel-shaded · 2022-11-20T12:11:16+00:00

This is such a weird thing to generalize. Some men are lazy slobs, some are neat freaks and a lot are somewhere in between.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-11-20T12:17:10+00:00

My husband and I are on the same level with this, we both like the house being nice but won’t loose our shit over a bit of mess

Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-11-20T12:18:12+00:00

My dad cleans properly. My grandpas did too.

2022-11-20T12:19:32+00:00

I just don't date messy/unclean men.

ffandyy · 2022-11-20T12:25:11+00:00

It’s not a man/woman thing, it’s a person thing. Some people have high cleaning standards and some don’t.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-11-20T12:31:59+00:00

You could just give him clear instructions on what you mean by "clean". Each persons households are run differently, so they assosiate different tasks with the objective. Like washing the clothes and folding them are different things. Washing the clothes will make them clean, folding the clothes does not make the cloathes clean, thus it's a separate task.

In my household we don't touch/clean another persons belonging without their permission. This way you can more easily find your stuff and not blame the other person for making your stuff dissappear.

Like when my mom put away my spring shoes that were in the same spot the whole winter and then i had to go to school with winter shoes when it was +10 celcius outside, because mom didn't remember where she put them and i had no time to search for them. I would have found the shoes if she would have said to me "put away your spring shoes" or "hey, i'm putting your spring shoes in X place".

Title	I don't think men "see" messes and dirt as they actually exist
Author	AGalWithThoughts
Upvotes	5
Comments	34
Date	November 20, 2022 11:45 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z0243p/i_dont_think_men_see_messes_and_dirt_as_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-dont-think-men-see-messes-and-dirt-as-they.1140874 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140874

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