TLDR:

My wife has used about $300k of my income and inheritance for various jobs, hobbies, retreats. She always "worked" but changed pursuits too often to make positive income. How do I get compensation for all the support given her (money and assistance in her businesses)? Starting mediation soon.

FULL STORY:

My wife has worked several entrepreneurial and mom-jobs over the last five years. Life coach, energy healer, MLM, real estate broker. Each time she would sign up for the programs, courses, gurus, and buy whatever they sold. We are over $300k into her various businesses in the last five years.

I previously ran a business that made $200-300k. That dried up last year and now I work for another company for commission split and will make about $80k per year.

She filed for divorce in February but we got back together in April. We are now proceeding with the divorce.

I made a list of the main hobbies, jobs, programs, and equipment she has bought and worked on over the last five years. I want to make the point that she is a working mom and has extensive work experience. I have not shared this list with her yet.

Wife gets very angry if I mention that we both have ability to earn and I think she should not expect large support payments.

Two questions I would love to discuss:

  1. Should I bring up the list about her "careers" and associated costs with her before mediation? I want her to see the reality of the situation that if she spent more than the cost of law school, she can expect to at least provide for herself. It might make her back down from expecting a big payment. Or should I keep it to myself and let my attorney make this point once we get to mediation?
  2. How would I best use the fact that she has $300k investment in her mind, experience, and human capital? Ask for equity in her currently successful business? I also worked on her businesses alongside her many evenings and weekends.