Are there any real positive affirmations for men?

a-man-from-earth · 2023-01-02T06:28:55+00:00

Edit: I can see some comments getting automatically deleted I think. That isn't good

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(edit: spelling)

FrostieTheSnowman · 2023-01-02T04:21:38+00:00

As someone in the field who also struggles with depression, there's another way to look at it that I find more palatable. I call it 'self-talk'. You know how, throughout your day, you'll occasionally just say shit to yourself?

You sleep through your alarm, "Damn it I'm going to be late again–why can't I just wake on time"

You mess up while making breakfast, "Ugh, I'm so stupid, why do I always do this"

You can't find your keys, "Where did I leave them? I'm such an idiot, I should have put them on the rack."

Now, you may not be this negative with yourself, but many people are, and I know I was when I was feeling low. My suggestion is to become more conscious of your self-talk. Once you're more aware, you can change the way you speak to yourself.

I like to think of it like, "would I say this to my best friend?"

If I would say it to my friend if he was in my position, maybe it's a valid criticism and something to work on. If I wouldn't say it to my friend, I know it's just mean, and I'm venting my frustration on myself. We need to vent, but self-talk changes your perception of yourself, so it's important to keep it in check when you can.

I hope this helps. :)

ZulutheZebra · 2023-01-02T01:49:38+00:00

Well I definitely agree with you but would caution you about saying anything on Reddit (or really most public sites) about it. Reddit is so full of trolls and simps nowadays they will mock, belittle and label you an incel if you say anything like “to be a man is to be a slave”.

Probably the truest thing I have ever heard along these lines is the quote “women and children are loved for existing, men are loved for what they can provide”.

Unnecessary_Timeline · 2023-01-02T02:28:49+00:00

Positive affirmations are a real therapy technique, and repeating them to yourself in the mirror is an attempt to associate those positive feelings with your own image. It’s an attempt to ‘reprogram’ you to the your self image to positive emotions instead of negative ones. So, if you have a negative association with the phrase ‘strong man’ then you probably shouldn’t use that phrase, and explain to your therapist why that is not a ‘positive’ affirmation for you.

Yes, positive affirmations feel weird and cringy and awkward at first. But as you keep doing them, the awkwardness fades and you can start really trying. Compliment yourself into the mirror as if you are complimenting someone else, but you’re just ‘I am’ instead of ‘You are’.

They shouldn’t be general compliments that any man, or any person, could be given. If you have an idea of what you think a ‘strong man’ is, then use affirmations of the individual qualities of a strong or good man, rather than saying just ‘I am a strong man’.

‘I love and care for my friends, they mean a lot to me’

‘I am an active listener and care about the experiences of others’

‘My friends love and care for me’

Ecki0800 · 2023-01-02T10:31:21+00:00

The mirror thing worked for me years ago. Set yourself a goal, say that you can achieve it and just do everything possible for you to archieve it. Start a new sport, start reading, try to get better at your job. Do something benefitial for you. Your selfimage will get better and then you don't need to hide behind your false "strong man" image. Because when you achieved your goal, then you're truly a strong man.

Best of luck!

fist_to_the_air · 2023-01-02T11:59:37+00:00

He wants me to reprogram my brain and I don't like the word "reprogram" because it's like trying to conform what society wants from me and not what I truly want from me.

Do you realise that your current brain has been "programmed" too? Your brain isn't a magically neutral thing that can't get programmed unless you try and program it. It's constantly absorbing so much stuff that you arent aware of, affecting your thinking patterns, your views about others and yourself, your behaviours, etc. It's not about trying to make you conform to society and give up what you truly want for yourself because... Your current brain might not have what to truly want for yourself in mind anyway.

I get why the use of the word "reprogram" is a bit triggering, but it isn't necessarily bad. Especially when you think you're current brain isn't programmed at all. Ofcourse it is. And now is a chance to actually get a bit more in touch and help rebuild it in a healthier way for you.

When he told me to tell myself "I am a strong man", those words mean different to me. Because what I realized over recent years at least from my experience and what I was taught is....to be strong means to be silent, to be a man is to be a slave. So to be a strong man.....those words to me mean to be an obedient slave.

Then change it. Try confident instead. He's giving you suggestions. There is a larger lesson to be learnt about what he's asking you to do, so you don't have to 100% follow this as long as you're still doing the positive affirmations.

Also, are you discussing this with your therapist? This sounds like something that should be explored further. That you're idea of strong is to just be silent. If he doesn't know that, then he can't be aware of saying that stuff or how you feel about it when he makes recommendations.

Do you think there are any true positive affirmations for men?

I'm not an affirmation type person but I think there are some things to remind yourself of. Stuff like "I am enough" to remind you that you don't need to base your self worth on others approval. Isn't something I've used but I knew others use this one and it can work for them.

I know when I'm under intense stress and feeling like I'm going to break, I feel way better when I start telling myself that "it's okay" or "you're okay" . It's like someone else telling me that I'm okay, and it helps alot and calms me down. Can use it for more mundane stuff too. Find that part of you who wants you to be safe and happy and secure, and let that part speak to you when you need it. Maybe you've been neglecting it for a while so you might not hear it or might immediately shut it down, but that voice is pretty powerful imo. Definitely helps me power through things I couldn't, or help me come back from feeling like I can't control anything anymore.

That last one isn't exactly a positive aphorism thing, but I think you're underestimating how important it is to be kind and supportive to yourself. Like, out loud supporting yourself. Thinking things inside your head isn't the same as saying it out aloud. Takes way more to do it with your voice, and thus means way more.

Ok_News4073 · 2023-01-02T23:10:44+00:00

One that's worked well for me is

The fact that I'm OK and that I am always OK.

Caveat to this though, I don't use this in future tense. Only in present tense or past tense.

It loses pretty much all of it's effectiveness using it in future tense.

I will be OK. I will be OK soon.

The reason is that no one knows the future, NO ONE. You are able to reason that you are OK now even if you don't feel OK.

It's good for jotting down in a notebook too!

Title	Are there any real positive affirmations for men?
Author	BlackoutWalksAlone
Upvotes	26
Comments	25
Date	January 2, 2023 1:14 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/100z87k/are_there_any_real_positive_affirmations_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/are-there-any-real-positive-affirmations-for-men.1147546 https://theredarchive.com/post/1147546

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