"Life as a lonely man over 40 with ASD"

EndHlts · 2023-02-16T15:24:00+00:00

This is the kind of men that communities like rinceltear and the like spend their time hating so much.

As a man, if you don't fit the mold, society is so endlessly fucking cruel to you.

FrowAway322 · 2023-02-16T14:16:15+00:00

I heard a shrink say once that many more people are painfully alone than you would guess.

“We’ll I don’t know any,” some say.

Of course you don’t. They truly alone.

We need to talk about this shit and be more welcoming and helpful. It helps people without ASD to get to know people with it. It helps the people with ASD tremendously. It can be life saving.

hotpotato138 · 2023-02-16T21:13:21+00:00

The guy in the video is fairly handsome. The reason many men are lonely is because society places the burden of initiating relationships on men. Men have to do the pursuing. Women just select. It's hard for autistic and shy men.

Society also says men who don't get laid are weird. In reality, there's nothing wrong with being celibate.

bottleblank · 2023-02-16T10:09:05+00:00

This. This is who we should be thinking about when we talk about lonely men.

Not crazy and exceptional extremists, not hard line political fanatics, not bitter forum posters.

This is the reality; the sad, lonely, harsh, miserable reality behind all of the emotion that causes men to become broken and in pain.

It's not some backlash against society, it's not some childish revenge fantasy, it's real, deep, endless hurt, spoken quietly in a guy's apartment, hoping somebody can hear him, desperately wishing for some kind of connection, some kind of hope, some kind of life.

JACCO2008 · 2023-02-16T13:01:20+00:00

I relate hard with this is dude.

He's clean cut and not bad looking at all and yet women just brush him off like he's trash because he doesn't fit some asinine arbitrary standard they have set for themselves. This guy, and me, and many others would make great partners if just given the chance.

The thing no one wants to talk about is the fact that women alone are the cause of the dating market/relationship issue here. They do the choosing and they keep choosing shitty guys because they think that they are settling otherwise. Guys like this get left in the dust and contribute no fault to the situation whatsoever. How can they when they're being ignored and disallowed from participating? Women NEED to start taking accountability for their roles in this paradigm because it's beginning to fuck with them as well. The only difference is that they're doing it to themselves.

mighty3mperor · 2023-02-16T20:07:27+00:00

Yeah, I can sympathise - I went through a bit of a crisis in my 20s and 30s when all my friends were getting married, having kids, etc. Getting over the need for external validation helped, as did a form of mindfulness, although I also accept I may have just run out of fucks to give.

What has become clear is that few people are really happy - most of my married friends aren't, the divorced ones are still licking their wounds and even the happily married (and my sample is skewed as I tend to hang around with the single, divorced or unhappily married) are incredibly stressed. It feels like the world isn't really working well for anyone. Or very few people. Or very few people I know.

I am still figuring things out but I am in a better place now (certainly a more peaceful one) and I think avoiding dating apps has helped (they just seemed designed to monetise loneliness and can be the cause of it too). I am happily going to the cinema by myself and I think this year I might try a little weekend break on my own.

Title	"Life as a lonely man over 40 with ASD"
Author	bottleblank
Upvotes	111
Comments	25
Date	February 16, 2023 10:08 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/113n8bk/life_as_a_lonely_man_over_40_with_asd/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/life-as-a-lonely-man-over-40-with-asd.1152465 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152465

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