Why do you identify with the Men's Rights Movement?

PowerWisdomCourage · 2013-09-26T15:22:32+00:00

I rarely identify with a group and I probably wouldn't even identify myself as an MRA. I've always been the devil's advocate, looking at both sides of a larger picture, and I've looked out for the little guy; eventually that became men. When feminism went from "women have problems" to "women have problems, men are the cause, and men have it easy," and it went unchecked, I began to identify with the MRM.

As for why I don't identify with another group, you answered your own question: "why identify as men's rights over the millions of other choices of groups that also can serve these causes?' Those groups "can" but they don't.

AgentCircle · 2013-09-26T16:38:21+00:00

I identify with the MRM because I firmly believe that men and women are affected by their gender equally.

justcallmeaddie · 2013-09-26T17:37:33+00:00

Alot of reasons. Being tried as a domestic abuser when trying to defend myself, because of that I was lumped up with the image of someone who savagely beats their significant other. /u/girlwriteswhat (I know this is sappy as hell) helping me understand something I was feeling with something she said (paraphrasing sorry if I'm mincing your words /u/girlwriteswhat) "men define themselves with what they do....so when a man divorces he is not just loosing his significant other his children and a sizable amount of his physical possessions he is loosing alot of what he defines himself as such as father and husband" when I broke up with my abusive ex and I "missed" her. I didn't I just missed the part of myself that i lost by giving that up.

I identify as a MRA because I know if my ex ever took me to court for custody I would loose my child, and thus I still have to be her "best friend" when she needs me so I stay on her good side. I identify because the majority of my life I have been spoon fed the image of man as monster woman as victim. I was made to believe that men were in general horrible but I could be the exception. I identify as an MRA because it makes me realize things I have always known, and also for making me realize that some of the things I have 'known' were completely false. Things that are so utterly false that they could not be construed as anything more then a hateful lie.

I identify as an MRA because I'm tired of being treated as disposable, at the same time being told that I have all the advantages.

:Edit: I identify as a MRA because on the radio today a woman was "stupid" for dating a man with no job, because men have no inherent value. That is what it means to be a stay at home (without children) you have inherent value, as in someone values your existence and your existence alone.

lordslag · 2013-09-26T19:05:02+00:00

I am a male survivor of sexual assault (was assaulted by my female SO). I am an unwilling, tricked father, unable to see my child because of the lies of the mother. I have been victim of 2 false accusations (sexual harassment & domestic violence) with all the social opprobrium that comes thereto. I have no federal laws heightening penalties for victimizing me (VAWA), nor ensuring my employment (Affirmative Action). I suffer extreme social rejection if I dare say women should represent equally in the mines, sewers and trash dumps before they get equality in the White House, Boardroom and Congress. I can be drafted to die in war at the whims whims of a chicken-hawk at any moment, and women don't even have to register. Every man I know who's been married, is now paying alimony/standard to a woman who initiated the divorce. And I am expected to do all the approaching and paying in the dating scene, and not to notice that or point it out, lest I be suddenly dateless.

This shit is ridiculous, and it needs to stop. How could I not be part of MRA? :)

Edit-Important information added, timbre, flow, speleeng.

2013-09-26T19:08:05+00:00

I don't label myself as a MRA like I don't label myself as anything due to various reasons, but I'm certainly aligned with the movement.

I grew up under feminist education plus a dominant mother, which has caused me all sorts of issues that I'm still dealing with and I'm helping others to deal with. When I moved away from my country, I experienced many things that made me see things from a different point of view, especially when it comes to women.

I'm constantly doing a lot of introspection, not only on my own, but when someone else, man or woman, opens themselves to me I can reflect many things and look back and realize that many things that I've always seen as white, were actually black. All this process was fairly shocking for me, especially when I realized the damage it can potentially do on young men to receive this kind of education, so I kinda want to fight this. I also want to fight issues that girls and women suffer, but not through feminism.

At some point in the future I want to hold a men's support group (there are not many here as far I know) and promote the addition of a basic psychology and empathy subject or course in school.

I received the "masculine is bad, feminine is good, let girls have their way, don't try to control them" message from many different sources and it worked, it certainly did. When that message is deep in your brain, you become unable to defend yourself from women, be it psychologically or physically...and some things that were forgotten, come back and you realize what exactly was happening...

C0CKPUNCHER · 2013-09-26T18:18:45+00:00

Basically because of the facts and because feminism is so far from the facts.

It's definitely not because I like men, I knee jerk don't like men, and I knee jerk do like women, even women I don't like I treat well and am quick to forgive them, even after repeatedly getting burned (talking about in laws not partners). Further objectively the life choices men make offend me very often, the personalities they choose for themselves are tedious.

It's not because I like how the movement is run or the general intelligence or manners of it's members. Because I don't.

I think focusing on the specific issues men face but not the gender angle will not provide useful answers to people.

It isn't for my own self interest or revenge.

I don't particularly agree with the priorities of the mensrights movement which puts dating issues to much to the fore - but male suffering is more salient as I see it over other causes.

Juan_Golt · 2013-09-26T20:36:43+00:00

I identify as an MRA primarily because of systemic father's rights and domestic violence issues that have affected me and many of the people in my life.

Why I chose MR as opposed to other groups: Movements seeking change are rarely successful unless the changes they seek are direct, constructive and narrowly defined. Ideally you've got a large group of people all pushing for a singular change. The narrower the scope and the broader the group; the more likely success becomes. If I were to change my affiliation, it would be to a narrower term (Fatherist? Parentist?) not a broader term (Feminist).

Scope: Civil rights advocates in the 1800s didn't call themselves egalitarians, and fight for universal equality (broad). They called themselves abolitionists and sought to end slavery (narrow). Early feminists weren't feminists they were suffragettes. Large groups focused on a single issue drives change. A contemporary example would be pro-choice/pro-life groups. Democrats are pro-choice, but that doesn't mean that all abortion rights advocates identify as Democrats first and foremost. MRAs believe in gender equality, but narrow the scope of discussion to issues that primarily affect men. My two issues are commonly at the forefront.

Constructiveness: Even when groups agree on a narrow scope, it still requires constructive changes. It's not enough to say 'men's issues exist'. There must be reasonable and concrete changes being asked for to correct the situation. MR has the most comprehensive plans in this regard.

Directness: In my experience Feminism is only interested in MR issues to the extent that those issues can be co-opted to fit their own agenda/narrative ('Patriarchy hurts men too', 'men are disadvantaged in family courts because of bias against women' etc...) Men's issues are always secondary or tertiary to women's issues. While men's issues are acknowledged indirectly, they are never considered first class issues to be directly solved.

rightsbot · 2013-09-26T15:12:17+00:00

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stealer0517 · 2013-09-26T23:21:15+00:00

Because I'm a man

and I have rights

2013-09-27T13:28:22+00:00

I don't. I describe myself as an MRA baecause it's an accurate description of some of my political views. I don't identify using labels unless there's a very clear understanding of what they mean, "MRM" is poorly defined and includes groups I don't agree with. For the same reason I don't use the term "masculist" or "feminist" to describe myself.

The term "movement" to me implies some kind of unified direction and I'm not sure I see any among MRAs as a group. That's not a bad thing necessarily, diversity is a good thing, but "movement" seems to me to be a bad term to describe such a diverse group.

2013-09-27T21:48:33+00:00

EDIT: This has been a very interesting conversation. It has been interesting to hear all your perspectives and I have been impressed with how most of you handled a dissenting opinion. So thank you for a genuine and civil conversation, that's not something you get a lot on the internet.

Spread the word. Tell a friend. :)

Pecanpig · 2013-09-26T16:19:28+00:00

For the rage inducing effect it has on stupid people.

Title	Why do you identify with the Men's Rights Movement?
Author	danieljesse
Upvotes	12
Comments	74
Date	September 26, 2013 3:11 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1n6ie1/why_do_you_identify_with_the_mens_rights_movement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-do-you-identify-with-the-mens-rights-movement.1162839 https://theredarchive.com/post/1162839

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