I reached out for help, my wife beat the crap out of me, she was abusing me physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially. There was no hotline, shelter, support group, or victim advocates. The night I told; "Please, just go, I am not mad, I am just done." Was met with her fist to my face. I was again paralyzed by my mother and grandmother teaching me a man never hits a woman, the last hit I felt the concussion and was about to be knocked out, I pushed past her, using open hands to escape the house. Outside on the deck I am trying to shake off the concussion when I am slammed to the ground and handcuffed. The charge DV, Assault, and sexual assault. The sexual assault was dropped when the DNA was not mine, there were no injuries to photograph, the police report said so. My injuries were not recorded and the protection said they were the result of my arrest. Not from her. My arrest pic was published in the gunshot rags, I lost my name, business, home, everything. I needed support, medical, counseling, a place to live, a job.

I went to every social agency I could find only to be rejected. If the gender was reversed it would have been a different story. I survived and made it on my own. I still am dealing with the PTSD from her abuse and then the abuse by the system, I eventually plead to disorderly conduct, got a $25 fine, because DV cannot be dropped and the "victim" can ask for never ending continuances. I will never earn what I did in the past because the original charge was DV, which most employers will not hire you, my college degree is worthless now as is my 29 years experience, I have found employment working for a friend in a new career and I enjoy it.

I can't date because my mugshot was plastered with the charges of sexual assault, DV, and assault. Nevermind the fact that my only ever brush with the law was a speeding ticket 30 years ago. I was a typical nice guy who had built up a good positive image and well liked in my community. I am dating my high school sweetheart who knows me and if it weren't for her I wouldn't be dating at all.

I am a father and took pride pride in my involvement in my daughters school. Luckily, my daughter is with my first wife, and she supports me and is pissed at what my 2nd wife did to my daughter and me. I used to teach after school enrichment classes, I would be a guest speaker in classes, help out with the sports programs, and would be on PTA committees. All of which I had to pass a background check and have clearance. That was taken away, and now it is too painful to even go to my daughters track meets. I go to a few big ones and go with her mother, who agrees to do so because she knows I am a good father.

My life has drastically changed, I don't trust women that I don't have a ling term history with. I trust my first wife more than I trust any woman I would ever meet on a dating site. I must carry around a label of a typical wife beater and I have never hit a woman in my life, because I was raised that hitting a woman is just as bad as hitting my Mom, Sister, or Grandmother. I needed help, there was none. I did it myself.

Men my age, mid 40's commit suicide 10 to 1 more than women of the same age. Maybe they reached out for help and there was none.