My son's teacher has falsely accused me of physical abuse.

truthjusticeca · 2013-05-31T23:58:39+00:00

Talk to your son about it and secretly record all interactions with social workers and teacher in the future. It's not illegal in Canada.

7wap · 2013-06-01T00:09:24+00:00

Do you have money? Hire a lawyer, hire a PI, and destroy your accuser. This isn't a game, and the system isn't fair. Play to win or expect to get fucked over.

AnnArchist · 2013-06-01T03:50:23+00:00

Clean your house and Remain calm.

Dont question them or act defensive. Offer them a beverage (tea) and be friendly. If you show resistance then they will be more suspicious.

Usually they have bigger problems to worry about than you if what you said was true.

Also, consider suing the teacher.

KRosen333 · 2013-06-01T00:36:47+00:00

Lawyer. NOW. Get off the computer and get a lawyer. Call them right fucking now

steelheader · 2013-06-01T16:25:23+00:00

I just dealt with this a few months ago(Jan/Feb). My daughter (in grade 10) has a SERT who asked a number of leading questions and basically talked circles around my daughter. My daughter had said that it was my wife and I's (?) anniversary and the the SERT asked how long we had been married. My daughter told her and the SERT sTated that "they must be in love". To which my daughter replied that no, they fight and yell(like any married couple does). The SERT than asked specifically about my temper and a number of other leading questions. This was all when she was supposed to be helping my daughter with her math work. The SERT left the class and called CAS. The next day, they pulled my daughter out of class (MATH class, I was PISSED about this aspect) and brought her down to a room where she was told she had to talk to them. At this point my daughter called me and was quite upset. I told her that under no circumstances could they force her to speak to anyone there about anything at all. She had done no wrong and was not obligated to follow their directions under the charter of rights and freedoms. Shortly after that day, we got a call from CAS stating that they would need to come interview the family. I had since found out that the SERT was an ex-CAS employee. We spoke to our lawyer and he told us we could just play along with CAS and that he would reach out to them if needed (he knew the case worker). We followed his advice, but took the school and the teacher to task shortly afterwards. I told the school that under no certain terms is that SERT to be in the presence of my daughter, nor would she be working with my daughter again. The VERY NEXT day, my daughter texted me pictures of the SERT sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HER in the class that had a number of empty seats(physically intimidating, nay BULLYING even). My daughter felt intimidated and threatened. The SERT said "THANKS for trying to get me in trouble, I was only trying to help you". Once I found that out I raged hard and went back to the school yet again as well as to our lawyer. I had the lawyer draft up a document telling them to stay the hell away from my daughter and to leave us the hell alone lest they (personally as well as the school board)be open to further, more severe legal action(s). It was VERY frustrating, the principle of the school flat out told me that she believed the SERT over us. She basically accused me to my face. The fact that my daughter has a social /interpersonal disability was preyed upon by someone who was well aware of her issues. The SERT used her previous experience at CAS to try and become the new hero at this school. I told the principle that the SERT was a risk in the same way that the fireman starts fires to look like a hero. I was dismissed as being combatitive and obtuse. I ended up letting the school administration know what I thought of their "expertise" and that if they disrupted my family life ever again, I would come back and make their life as hard as possible, even down to my last dime.

FUCK CAS, they do NO good at all and in fact have a long history of abuse and general fuckery.

FUCK SCHOOL busy body administrators, if they were in any way competent, they would be in a real job and not babysitting a bunch of moron public school teachers.

Stand by your guns, do not volunteer anything. Let your son know you love him very much. My daughter(s) were both worried that they would be taken away and I would be put in jail. It was a traumatic experience all around.

2013-06-01T13:16:58+00:00

I've been working with CAS for a while, since they got called on my abusive ex. When investigated, she tried to have them go after me. It didn't work.

The warnings here are true. Here are some approaches to help protect yourself.

Be open to them. Don't volunteer things, but they need to see you as being open and cooperative. They usually deal with people who abuse their kids, hate CAS, and who are confrontational. When you're friendly and cooperative, that makes it easier for them to dismiss the whole set of allegations.

Record everything. They may tell you "We don't agree to be recorded. If you're recording, we'll bring our lawyer". Nod and smile. Say "I understand". Then record everything. In Canada, conversations between two people can be recorded by one of them. There's no need to obtain consent.

Recording helps protect you if you get a worker who's bonkers. "He said he did crack every day". Versus "No.... I have a recording of our conversations, that's a lie."

Recording costs you nothing. If you don't need it, it's just another file on a disk. If you do need it, it will literally save your life as you know it.

You may think of putting a secret recording device in his room. That will record conversations between him and the CAS worker. But it's illegal, and you won't be able to use it.

Tell you son to tell the truth. CAS likely will ask him what you told him to say. But also tell him how to tell the truth. Telling half of the story is a lie. Telling all of the story is the truth.

For example, say he gets asked if you have cockroaches (cleanliness issue). A simple "yes" may not be the truth. The truth may be "Yes, they started a month ago when the downstairs apartment was rented to a new guy. The landlord is trying to kick him out, and sent us a letter saying he's trying to fix it".

See the difference? That difference can save your life as you know it.

I would advise against prepping him for the "did daddy hit you" question. His answers won't come naturally, and the CAS worker will smell a cover-up. Instead, talk about "you hit me back!", or rough-housing, while you're rough-housing. That will give him context for the question, and for his replies.

The bulk of the CAS people (IMHO) believe they're good people, who are trying to protect the children. Using that belief will get them on your side.

There may be evil man-hating workers. I haven't met them. If you run into one, the best defence is stone-walling. Cooperate carefully, and minimally.

And lawyers? You probably want one, but I don't think they'll help. CAS workers are above the law. There is very little any lawyer can do against CAS. A good lawyer will tell you that. A bad lawyer will tell you he can push CAS around, and will charge you lots of money for doing nothing.

If you have more questions, PM me. Good luck.

RationalSocialist · 2013-06-01T04:53:59+00:00

All I want to say is good luck, man. Update us later, please.

2013-06-01T08:59:17+00:00

Lawyer up now. Not saying you need the legal advice but at this point it's probably good to have. I don't suppose there's any way of finding out what was actually said, is there?

Nomenimion · 2013-05-31T23:57:54+00:00

Stay calm. If there is any indication that you are in trouble, talk to a lawyer. Be sure that you have a lawyer during any interviews, etc.

Did your son suffer an injury when you and he were play wrestling?

rightsbot · 2013-05-31T23:52:17+00:00

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Foldymort · 2013-06-01T13:04:17+00:00

Oh god, that is so terrible. I have no idea how these things go, but best of luck to you and your son and may you always stay together.

Eryemil · 2013-06-01T13:41:36+00:00

[...] to which he responds with punching me in the nuts

You need to teach your son this is not acceptable behaviour. Testicular injuries are extremely serious.

cajunrevenge · 2013-06-01T02:19:13+00:00

Find out if she has children then make an anonymous claim so she has to go through the same BS. Once CPS comes and determines nothing is wrong I would file a restraining order against the teacher from having contact with your son.

The best thing you can really do is swallow your pride and be as polite and acomadating as possible to the CPS workers. Its a lot like getting ass raped. Yeah it sucks and you want to tense up but that only makes it worse. Better off just relaxing and letting it happen.

When the CPS person arrives ask them what you can best do to prove your innocence. If you can afford get a home surveilance system so you have some form of proof if a claim is made. If you cant afford that just record as much as possible and record any and everything when CPS arrives so they cant make any false claims.

liquid_j · 2013-06-01T14:26:38+00:00

I had a situation (in Canada) like yours. I got a visit from scocial services because my inlaws didn't like the decisions my wife and I had made via our autistic son. When he was young, our sons autism made him a very scared boy. Sounds scared him, new places scared him, lots of stuff left my boy scrambling in fear. My wife and I decided that we wanted to let our boy at least feel safe in his own skin before we started imposing therapists and the like, so we adopted a strategy of letting him discover the world on his own terms rather then drugging him. (which incidentally was the right choice for our son) My inlaws did not agree. Even though they hardly saw my son they figured they knew best and decided that they would get family services involved in our lives, thinking that they would force our hand. So one day social services shows up at our door, saying they have had reports that I'm (I'm a SAHD) doing and selling hard drugs from the house with my son. They figured that once family services saw our decisions regarding the boy they would just over-ride us, and the drug bullshit was just something to get them in the door. When the scocial worker asked to confirm my phone number, I knew it was them by which old number of mine they had. I had to deal with 2 visits from the scocial worker. In the first one I offered to have a hair folicle drug test (I hear ya cant fool those) and pay for it my self. Let her check around the house. (she didnt like that they dishes were not done... I was like "welcome to the real world baby") Interview my non verbal boy. I delt with a second visit where she confirmed that the dishes were in fact done, and let us know that she was recommending the case be closed.

My lesson in all this (beyond don't trust the inlaws) was just be honest with these people. If you look like your trying to hide something they will be in your life for a while. If you're completely honest, even with he stuff that isn't father of the year material, you should be OK.

fishing-for-downvote · 2013-06-02T00:39:35+00:00

Destroy the teacher. Ruin her life. It sounds mean but its about making an example.

tyciol · 2013-06-01T16:43:27+00:00

Him punching you in the nuts in response to it doesn't really excuse your head-tapping or doofball-calling. Obviously not serious physical or emotional abuse but I think that's inappropriate.

Title	My son's teacher has falsely accused me of physical abuse.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	126
Comments	85
Date	May 31, 2013 11:51 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ffpv1/my_sons_teacher_has_falsely_accused_me_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-sons-teacher-has-falsely-accused-me-of-physical.1172374 https://theredarchive.com/post/1172374

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