A while back, a woman posted this thread on the Men's Rights sub. Not surprisingly, it generated plenty of discussion. Some of it was insightful. Some of it wasn't. I applauded the woman for coming to this sub and showing a willingness to talk about these controversial issues surrounding gender, feminism, and all the controversy surrounding it. While I think she did frustrate some people, I found some of the comments that she and others made quite revealing.

It led me to write a little something about the discussion on my blog, which you can check out here if you're interested, but rather than just post a link to that, I think it's worth highlighting the most important issue I felt emerged from that discussion.

A lot of the issues she raised and that others responded to came back to the pain that one gender experiences more than the other. The problem, more often than not, involves emphasizing one gender's pain over the other. There are those in the feminist crowd that emphasize the pain women experience, but devalue or overlook the pain that men endure. There are those in the men's rights crowd who do the same. Most of the people I interact here on this sub are usually pretty egalitarian when it comes to who suffers. The same goes for most other subs, although some tend to be a bit more skewed than others. I won't name names because I don't want to give them more attention than they deserve, but I've seen them frequently mentioned in other threads.

In the end, even though that thread got downvoted, I think the points that woman made are worth heeding in any discussion about men's rights, gender issues, or equality. When one gender's pain is emphasized over the other, it eventually leads to problems for everyone down the line. Any time someone's pain is overlooked, it breeds the kind of resentment and hostility that drives people apart and undercuts any efforts to actually confront the source of that pain.

This sub, I believe, does a great job of highlighting the pain that men often experience that goes overlooked. In talking to that woman, I think she helped show that no matter what gender you are, pain hurts all the same and I think that's a good perspective to have when talking about these issues.

To that woman and all the men who shared in the conversation, I thank you for crafting such a meaningful conversation.