Speaking up about mistreatment

LoganCaleSalad · 2023-03-16T16:37:04+00:00

This very thing is precisely why men aren't just walking away from marriage/relationships/fatherhood but society in general. We're told daily through words & actions that we don't matter, that we're the problem with society, that we aren't worthy despite the fact society exists almost solely on the works of men. We literally keep the world moving, keep the lights on, keep the water drinkable, keep the streets free of garbage & disease, etc.

We are starting to see the beginnings of pushback but it isn't enough it'll be at least another 50+ years & something catastrophic happening before we see any semblance of real change. All we can do is continue down this road & let feminists & their flying monkeys understand they have nothing without us. Society doesn't exist without the work of both genders. We literally cannot exist without each other.

illuminarei · 2023-03-16T18:15:00+00:00

My first “awakening” to how men and women were treated differently was in early elementary. We had an after school program run by teachers in the cafeteria, and they’d let us play on the playground until our parents got off work.

I had a “girlfriend” in this program, and our romantic involvement included calling each other names, sitting on the monkey bars together, and discussing Pokémon. One day I was sitting with my friend playing Gameboy, when she and her friends started throwing sand at us to get attention. We would sometimes play sand fight (it was the 90’s) but me and my friend asked them to stop. We moved a couple times but they followed us and kept doing it. The teachers watching this happen didn’t do anything and just mumbled “get along guys” or something.

The second I grabbed sand and threw it back, the teachers immediately screamed and made a big deal of it. “You can’t do that, you’re a boy, she’s a girl, you’ll hurt her, blah blah” I had to sit in punishment next to them for an hour watching my friends play until my parents arrived. Not especially traumatic, but formative of my views, I have always had an eye for unfairness, and how different standards are applied unequally.

On a darker note, I experienced sexual harassment and unwanted advances from a married women in my first career. She would grope my butt or make comments like “let me come back to your dorm” and flirt with me. I lived in a house at the time, but beside the point. It got to the point it was making me uncomfortable, but when I brought it up to my female boss, she told me jokingly “just have sex with her!”. Of course nothing was confidential because one of the other women managers teased me about it later when I was getting coffee, “Come on, she’s not bad looking is she?”, not even touching on the fact that everyone knew she was married.

The insidious thing is, I didn’t even realize it was harassment. I was “lucky” to have attention from her and other women. School and college had taught me to watch out and protect women from Don Draper looking mfs who slapped their secretary’s butts and called them toots. Sexism was about the patriarchy and misogyny, not middle aged women gushing over how aroused Harry Styles made them in meetings, right? I wasn’t looking for small Puerto Rican ladies as harrassers, I was looking for “creeps”, whatever that means.

It took me a while to de-propagandize myself after dealing with lived experiences. Not that there aren’t male perpetrators, but unfortunately it is still the case that women get far more attention and seriousness when dealing with complaints. I hope that with future generations mindsets are starting to change. No one, man, women, trans, whatever, should have to deal with living and working in an uncomfortable environment.

LakiL_ · 2023-03-16T13:51:53+00:00

Here we go. First story is basically institutional mental violence, the others are harassing st work. Can't complain about anything, there's no help, from nobody.

When I was a kid, one of our study books had a text "what is a boy" (written by a woman) and was basically a list of demeaning actions and behaviors attributed to boys (eat boogies, have disgusting dead animals in your pockets, dirt on your face, stupid...) most of the boys were very uncomfortable, and the girls were all laughing and making fun of us, saying it was all true. Teachers was also a woman so she said it was fine, and we would do a "what is a girl" one day, but the day obviously never came. Never even thought about complaining about this one because the institution itself was behind it lmao.

Want more anecdotes? Last year, my relative visited with her 2 kids. A 7 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. The girl hit the boy. The boy hit the girl back in defense. My relative (the mom) told him he can't hit a girl, even in self defense. He felt very frustrated and obviously considered it unfair.

I actually became a teacher so that I can help kids, specially boys, that are just abandoned in school system. I was sexually harassed at work, by another male teacher, around 5 years ago. (He came behind me and kissed and smelled my neck). My female colleagues didn't care about it and tried to brush it off as a non instance, they still treated the guy as a friend... Principal? Same thing. The perpetrator then tried to fuck with my reputation and I ended up just quitting the job altogether.

Later, working in another school, I was touched inappropriately by a female coworker, and nobody gave a shit either. At this point I just gave up, I'm supposed to just take a beating, be abused, and move on with my life. And feminism makes sure to tell me that "I don't suffer", "I'm privileged".

ROlderbrother · 2023-03-16T06:20:59+00:00

I'm pretty confident nobody will be able to respond.

psychosythe · 2023-03-16T16:30:02+00:00

I'm sure it's out there, but if you've filed a complaint against a female coworker and you were believed and action was taken then you probably don't have a need for a community like this.

Title	Speaking up about mistreatment
Author	jessi387
Upvotes	45
Comments	18
Date	March 16, 2023 2:32 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/11shm8h/speaking_up_about_mistreatment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/speaking-up-about-mistreatment.1180697 https://theredarchive.com/post/1180697

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