I decided I don't want be someone's default choice, I want to be someone's first choice.

He said I'm the one he can see marrying someday, but had no clue when and hadn't even thought about it beyond just a daydream. It took us getting into a disagreement about this for him finally say he first wants to reach certain individual goals before he marries "somebody" and that ideally he would have met me when he was 30 rather than 25.

He believes I'm asking for reassurance for the future (which I am) and at this point he shouldn't owe that to me at 2.5 years. That I'm bringing this conflict out of nowhere due to anxiety and insecurity and bc I'm not sure if he loves me enough.

No I'm doing this bc I know he is the one and I want to be with someone who is just as excited and hopeful to plan a future together. I don't want to be the only one bringing up our future beyond the hypothetical.

I'm not ready for marriage and even with him I saw it happening in 3 years but at least I had an actual vision.

I'm only 24 and I know I have my whole life ahead of me. I posted on relationship advice and was told I'm too young, I haven't even lived with him, what's the rush etc. I went through with stating my wants and what I deserve to him after seeing what is on here. He saw it as an ultimatum, as me being uncompromising.

Although we do have similar timelines for our relationship. I see it as something to actively work towards. He didn't consider his timeline until I asked for it and even then he sees our relationship as dictated by these own goals of his. I was good enough for him to want to live with but not to plan for a future with. It's the different mindset we have that was the ultimate issue. He says it's the communication for him and that I only gave him a week to think about all this.

I feel like if a guy knows, then he knows. And if he really knew, he wouldn't have just let me walk away so easy and say "we will do whatever you want (break up wise) bc your the one whose expectations I don't meet".

If we moved forward he would have felt pressure and been "uncomfortable" and I would have just felt unmotivated and frustrated. I want more than just love, I want true commitment and not to be taken for granted. I want to be more than just a spot to fill when the time aligns with his personal goals.

Everything happens for the best and it's going to be okay. It just sucks losing my best friend.