I got myself a £22 Echo Dot as my self present and a £45,000 divorce bill for a marriage which pretty much lasted 2 months ....

If you're bored read on i'm killing time

.....before my ex decided she didn't want to be married and wanted her 1/2, I was lucky enough to be allowed purchase every asset 100% pre marriage including the entire wedding costs.

Why wouldn't i put her on the deeds when we were getting married (this is the UK, forget pre-nups, they are irrelevant)

When it came to dividing things up fairness was applied of course as it should be, in true pursuit of equality the honour of working triple the hours, the 6 years of additional studies and qualifications i got in my spare time were seen as just as important as sitting at home most of the day playing bingo on facebook and chatting to unknown men on whatsapp. 18 yr old children do require a lot of care though so maybe i'm being harsh here and no doubt i was not paying her enough attention forcing her to look to cheat.

Its obviously my fault (and men) that my ex had never had a full time job or attended a job interview. SAHM's get to retire when their kids hit late teens, i missed that memo that this was actually me oppressing her, she didn't though and made it clear i was the lucky one.... Maybe if I had just listened we may still be married.

You can say she left me because i wouldn't wash the dishes, it only took 2 weeks before i quickly realised, neither did she (nor did she do much else), its our job to work 10-12hrs then come home and clean the house guys, just because i proved she literally spent all her time on FB, that doesn't give me a pass on pulling my weight!

I must get out of the 1950's mindset i'm told.

On separation my house was stripped bare as asset division was done via the fair method of taking everything you want whilst your spouse is at work. When my ex realised she didn't have a TV in her bedroom, coming back and taking our kids room TV was perfectly valid in the eyes of the law.

For a few months I was slandered as a tyrant as i wouldn't pay her rent, not give her half the house value on a promise of never asking for anything again and no divorce, when she abandoned our kid for 7 months to live "on her own" I was painted as holding our child hostage because i wouldn't pay her bills.

I will reflect forever on how l didn't pay for her new life as she demanded, how dare i think separating and sleeping with other men took away my obligations

The police were even kind enough to turn up 7 hours after i called them telling me that my ex standing in the garden with a bat threatening to smash my car and windows if i didn't give her £500 on the spot as it wasn't an emergency and she would have to actually start smashing things before they upgraded it to an immediate response. I was reminded it was also her marital property

That £500 was of course worth every penny in being a useful training package for equal rights due to my misogyny.

I've just finished paying CS where my ex was forced to pay the total of £0 towards the costs of our kids, when she let one stop going to school and hid it from me, her punishment was severe, she was told she could now claim another year of CS and welfare as our kid had to repeat a year, cynics might say this was planned but i just see that as my internalised sexism

Have a good Christmas all, smile and hold your head up and remember, you are the oppressor, you are the problem.

The only thing I have not done yet is renew my "Patriarchy Membership"

I'll get this done in the new year but i'm now off out with the boys to socialise, I think i'll be a street cleaner tonight when any interest comes my way and i'm asked "what i do for a living".

This year i got my freedom, I can't wait to rid myself of this decade, It was worth every penny. I've never felt so good being broke

On the 12th day of christmas my true love sent to me

A rubber stamped decree nisi

*Note - You may think I'm bending things here, I made the mistake of marrying someone with malignant BPD, I've left out the bad stuff ;)