Check the post history for context, it's big.

Can't help but think of ways to kill myself and make it look accidental. Now it's finally happened... Alone, nowhere to live, no family anymore. How will this ever get better? People who say that... How do you know? Maybe it won't. Maybe it will end today with my suicide. Maybe I'll be miserable from this for years to come and when it gets too much then I'll die.