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My son was ashamed to go to police over his 5ft girlfriend’s abuse. Then she killed him

shit-zen-giggles

May 1, 2023
548 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/my-son-was-ashamed-to-go-to-police-over-his-5ft-girlfriends-abuse-then-she-killed-him-lr2bzt57s
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Title My son was ashamed to go to police over his 5ft girlfriend’s abuse. Then she killed him
Author

shit-zen-giggles

Upvotes 548
Comments 81
Date May 1, 2023 4:40 PM UTC
(3 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/134rixx/my_son_was_ashamed_to_go_to_police_over_his_5ft/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-son-was-ashamed-to-go-to-police-over-his-5ft.1217455
https://theredarchive.com/post/1217455
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Comments

[–]Alarming_Draw 267 points268 points269 points 3 years ago (75 children) | Copy Link

I reported an ex girlfriend to the cops for being physically abusive. Literally got turned away after brief 3 minute chat with them.

And leaked documents PROVE UK cops are TOLD that men reporting abusive women "may be the real abuser themself so be suspicious of any man reporting a woman"!!!!

MISANDRY IS REAL & BAKED INTO SOCIETY.

[–]DemonKai7 58 points59 points60 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

So sorry mate that you were abused. Hope you're doing good, now.

[–]Alarming_Draw 18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

thanks.

[–]DemonKai7 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you ever feel down, you can always talk to me.

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 50 points51 points52 points 3 years ago (65 children) | Copy Link

yes, UK seems to be particularly bad these days.

Sorry that you had to experience this.

[–]Ahielia 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Has been for decades.

[+]cutekittensandpupys -25 points-24 points-23 points 3 years ago (63 children) | Copy Link

I didn’t think so as a uk citizen. Like a lot of boys have a very laddish culture. Maybe the fact that so many boys are like that leads to misandry against them all?

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (60 children) | Copy Link

If I understand your comment correctly, you're asking

what was he wearing?

aka victim blaming.

[+]cutekittensandpupys -12 points-11 points-10 points 3 years ago (59 children) | Copy Link

No I’m not asking what was he wearing or talking about him in general I am just saying like UK isn’t super feminist and there is a laddish culture maybe provoking people to view men negatively. Obviously nobody agrees with murder

[–]TurbulentFlow7145 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (58 children) | Copy Link

We’ll be prepared for what comes next when misogyny become mainstream. Because like you said, badly behaving women will provoke society at large into woman hating, right?

[–]SensitiveTurnips -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (46 children) | Copy Link

“When” misogyny becomes mainstream? You mean all of recorded history?

[–]TurbulentFlow7145 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (45 children) | Copy Link

Does misogyny appear mainstream to you right now?

She’s a man hater guys. Spotted one

[+]SensitiveTurnips -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (44 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Was I not clear?

[–]TurbulentFlow7145 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (43 children) | Copy Link

If there’s so much misogyny and we hate women as a society so much then maybe you can answer this question for me, why are women allowed to flee the Ukraine but not men?

If we hate women so much why not use them as cannon fodder instead of men?

[+]cutekittensandpupys 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Are you saying I’m a “badly behaving woman? What?

[–]TurbulentFlow7145 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

You are hopeless

[+]cutekittensandpupys 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

So you don’t know the first thing about me and took it upon yourself to call me a “badly behaving woman” and now I’m “hopeless”. I was asking you to explain what you were saying and instead you were cruel to me.

[–]TurbulentFlow7145 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Show me where I said you were a badly behaving woman please

[–]LokisDawn 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Or maybe todays machismo lad culture is a reaction to the misandry they face?

I've seen studies that machismo is often due to (or correlated with) fatherlessness. Boys growing up don't have good male role models, so they take what they can.

[+]cutekittensandpupys -8 points-7 points-6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t know a lot of laddish culture isn’t just being macho it’s the whole roadmen trend. Also a lot of them are very macho like you said. I have nothing against I’m just saying that’s a reason for people to view them badly.

[–]Kind_Marzipan_1658 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I can relate to this

[–]Angryasfk 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. It’s a specific instruction. And contrary to what that idiot claiming “no one is going to be arrested for ‘love bombing’” the police are being told that this is a “sign” of abuse. At the very least they’ll be “investigating”.

[–]critical_Bat -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Can you share these leaked documents?

That policy would align with feminist organisations objecting to change in rape laws because they said men would make an accusation to counter the one made against them.

[–]big_nothing_burger -4 points-3 points-2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It sucks but you're acting like female abuse victims don't get this same treatment regularly too.

[–]Shadowpersonality 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I had essentially the same thing happen to me when I called the police on an abusive girlfriend.

[–]Dolla_89 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

From what I've been hearing the UK is a misandrist country. F that place. Its actually worse then Canada

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 73 points74 points75 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Rest in peace Tai

[–]jjj2576 48 points49 points50 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Do you have an article that isn’t behind a paywall? Trying to find more information on this crime.

Edit…

https://news.sky.com/story/amp/mother-of-murdered-teen-speaks-out-after-killers-trial-took-22-months-to-get-to-court-after-delays-from-covid-and-strikes-12868744

This is the first article I found. Note the gender biased rhetoric, as the focus is on the flawed court system on a macro level, as opposed to the abuse that the male victim received.

[–]ThirdTurnip 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Archive sites (https://archive.is/) are a good place to find them, eg. https://archive.is/OG6kN

[–]luminarium 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ahmad, 24, was sentenced to 23 years in prison as she sat in Croydon crown court this month, swinging her legs in a chair too high for her feet to touch the ground. She was found guilty of murdering Tai,...

Beta reader feedback: "Text in bold is distracting and contributes nothing, can be cut from the story"

[–]NeoNotNeo 36 points37 points38 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What I ask every time, is it possible these women are getting more deluded in what they are capable of getting away with Because of feminism

Is this woman a self proclaimed feminist

If the reversed happened and a man committed a horrific crime like this, just one comment on this sub here would brand him as a terrorist if some kind.

[–]LordOafsAlot 29 points30 points31 points 3 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Have lost more than one friend in my life because of abusive women.

[–]Saerain 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Man...

I try to not chime in here much, as I realize my history is improbably bad, and I don't want to make the sub look more misogynistic than it's already stereotyped to be.

But yeah.

Yeah.

[+]big_nothing_burger -9 points-8 points-7 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

This sub doesn't need stereotypes from outside sources to seem misogynistic. I've been visiting for a few minutes and many of the comments are legitimately misogynistic and salty AF.

[–]Nobleone11 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

Citations please.

[+]big_nothing_burger -10 points-9 points-8 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Asking for citations when you're within the source itself...

I've seen a lot of comments that give off incel vibes. Blaming women for basically every issue. If you don't want to see it, that's on you man.

[–]Saerain 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Speaking of stereotypes, you're being a very old one.

[+]big_nothing_burger -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Dude, a guy just argued with me in another thread in this sub about how women are the cause of all of men's issues and then brought up like 6+ examples of how women are the biggest ruination of men across the board.

Go through my recent comments if you don't believe me, but it was 100% incel cliches. I didn't say you all are incels at all, not at all... absolutist statements are for idiots and propagandists... so maybe you can at least recognize that there are some toxic AF people here who probably should be called out.

[–]pbj_sammichez 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Cool, now go to 2xchromosomes or female dating strategy subs and call out their hate speech. Let me know how that goes for you.

[+]big_nothing_burger -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

If I went there and saw it I would, as any sane person would. This group just showed up in my feed today and I was curious. I will say that you don't find women shooting up communities with a feminist manifesto though. My main concern with the off the rails replied I saw today.

Lordy this in-group/out-group shenanigans is certifiable. Must suck perpetuating victimhood and making entire demographics an enemy constantly. Like in general, fucking sad way to live. The thing we can always fix first is ourselves and our groups and your first response was "but what about THEM!" like some kid pulls when they're in trouble.

[–]TurbulentFlow7145 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I like how you deflected there and rather than admit to the misandry is TwoX tried to downplay it because “women don’t shoot up communities”

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

did you use the report function to bring this to the mod's attention?

[–]pbj_sammichez 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Right, we do blame women for the things they do. When society as a whole seeks to excuse the bad behavior of women, holding them accountable seems like oppression. We just wish female adulthood had the same standards that are applied to male adulthood.

Saying something that paints women in an unflattering light is not misogyny when what's being said is true.

[–]Nobleone11 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Asking for citations when you're within the source itself...

I've seen a lot of comments that give off incel vibes.

Than it should be simple to produce evidence.

Go on, I'm waiting.

[–]SensitiveTurnips -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

*Then

Still waiting?

[–]Nobleone11 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, Grammar Nazi, I am.

So far, nothing.

[–]Pitiful_Row_8253 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So you got nothing, got it. 👍

[–]SensitiveTurnips 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s kind of unexpectedly horrifying, isn’t it? Like much worse than you could foresee without more exposure to this kind of mindset.

[+]Muscularhyperatrophy 37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Found this on a different article regarding a prior attack that had happened to the murderer's ex:

"The victim, Ahmad’s then partner, was stabbed three times before being moved into the street in an attempt to mislead police into believing that he had been attacked by an unknown third party. He did not initially wish to proceed with a prosecution against Ahmad but upon hearing of the murder of Tai felt compelled to support the investigation. Hearing the parallels between the two offences enabled the jury to reject a claim of self-defence made by Ahmad who had inflicted the same behaviours and violence upon both partners."

It's really sad that young men have a low chance of being taken seriously when the face DA from females in their life.

[–]niko_xf 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The guy gets stabbed three times and nothing? If I rob a bank and nobody does anything about it, you bet I am doing it again.

[–]MushroomMade 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

It's the cps in the UK that prosecute not the victim so I'm not sure what's going on here.

[–]Muscularhyperatrophy 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

CPS? Sorry I'm 'Murican and am unfamiliar with that abbreviation

[–]MushroomMade 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Crown prosecution service

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

here's a bit of background about it:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/26/urgent-review-of-all-cases-as-digital-evidence-is-withheld

[–]Muscularhyperatrophy 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The CPS, if they work like American police regarding arrests, wouldn't press charges if the person affected by assault doesn't want charges pressed, I am assuming.

[–]MushroomMade 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If I understand correctly the only time a crime is prosecuted is if the cps brings charges. a person cannot bring charges against another In UK they have to report it to the police, you can apply for private prosecution but not sure how this works.

[–]KrazyJazz 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She had a prior but nobody cared enough. She was then 17 years old....

The court was told Ahmad, of Robinhood Lane, Mitcham, had also carried out a knife attack on another man almost six years earlier, in July 2015, after an argument about a remote control.

The victim, Ahmad’s then partner, was stabbed three times before being moved into the street in an attempt to mislead police into believing that he had been attacked by an unknown third party.

He did not initially wish to proceed with a prosecution against her but after hearing of Mr Donnell’s murder, felt compelled to support the investigation.

[–]cactusfruits999 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

RIP

[–]Royal_IDunno 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Just read about this, I find this really sad because I too was a victim of all kinds of nasty abuses at the hands of my ex gf and when I had enough and tried to report it I was laughed at for it. Poor lad hope he’s in a better place and was for his gf I hope she rots in a dirty prison cell.

[–]NeoNotNeo 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What I ask every time, is it possible these women are getting more deluded in what they are capable of getting away with Because of feminism

Is this woman a self proclaimed feminist

If the reversed happened and a man committed a horrific crime like this, just one comment on this sub here would brand him as a terrorist if some kind.

[–]Njaulv 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I wonder if in female prisons women that do this kind of crime and abuse are treated like they are in male prisons. Where they are considered bad even by prison standards and shunned and even attacked by other prisoners. I seriously doubt it, Sisterhood and all.

Though a lot of those women do have sons, so who knows?

[–]FunSpunGirl -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Domestic abusers are pervasive in prison and are seldom shunned. Where are you getting your information?

[–]threwawaythedaytoday 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

whats gets me is when the mother said: "i thought it was ur average toxic relationship".

men are never seen as victims, and with the constant she-brigade of "men has it easy" "poor women", we devalue the struggles of men because people actually believe men have higher privileges in society - when thats NOT totally correct.

Especially in UK we know if 2 people accuse each other of assault, man or woman, the woman is by default believed. Weve seen the social media nonsense of a guy "abusing" a woman in public and how the entire public come to their defense, ye when its reversed people find it funny.

Young men who can make a positive impact on the world are dying for that same sick humour. That monster had previous and should have been assessed and locked up in a asylum.

[–]debl_l 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

To be honest men need to be more empathetic towards other men first. I bet if the guy went to the police, it's more likely that the male cops would've made fun of him and wouldn't have taken him seriously

[–]threwawaythedaytoday 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

unfortunately the people in our Uk police force have been proven time and time against to be bullies and not the best members of society. is her ex boyfriend wasnt so ashamed and reported her he may have been alive.

[–]3DFutureman7 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The "simping" behaviour in the UK is now dangerous for all men. Any woman can just call 999 and the enforcers (police in UK) will just take the guy away no questions asked. Its ridiculous and don't get me started on the laws in Scotland which are farcical. Death by Simp.

[–]Minute_Ad_1494 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Kamala Ahmad is her name, and she had a history of doing the same thing

[–]Jelooboi 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

yikes, hope she actually gets life

[–]C0sm1cB3ar 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She got prison for life.

[–]WanabeInflatable 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If he went to police, he'd be the one persecuted.

[+]magical_bunny 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s important to take one thing into account here. It’s not exclusively men who are not taken seriously when attacked by women. Women attacked by women are also not supported at all.

There was a woman at my work - skinny, 29, not too tall, guys seemed to say she was hot all the time.

This woman made my life hell. Like, I’m talking everything from false rumours to having a whole police team banging on my door over false claims she made that I’d threatened her life.

The whole reason the abuse started was because she had an excessive need for attention, she wanted me to look at and listen to her all day long at work and I had work to do. So I politely smiled, entertained her a short while then explained I was very busy with work. She hated this, because as far as she was concerned she was the centre of attention.

That was enough to trigger her stalking me, becoming obsessed, false claims and rumours, etc. She resigned rather than face the HR investigation I ended up having to trigger. But she continued to stalk me even after that. I couldn’t get an order to keep her away as it would have to contain my address and I didn’t want her getting it.

My workplace did nothing to caution or reign her in. When I tried to explain the issue to police they said “oh you two seem to just have some bad blood” as if we were just two girls fighting when I literally never invited any of this abuse.

She would pester me constantly with fake accounts online pretending to be “hunky” men and trying to get me alone in secluded places for goodness knows what.

There’s way more but I’d be here all day.

When people heard about my situation and thought a man was behind it, they had some sympathy. But as soon as both men and women heard it was a petite woman terrorising me, they lost interest or saw it as “cute”.

I honestly think this chick would be capable of murder. She’s absolutely nuts.

I ended up finding out her history included running business scams, stealing money from her own mother, physically assaulting her previous partners, stealing cars and being committed to mental wards. She also faked her qualifications and caused trouble at every workplace but then made a fake story about someone at that workplace so she could use it as a sympathy tool to move on to the next place without proper background checks. I was that person at my work.

The issue of not recognising female abusers isn’t about ignoring men, it’s about society not being able to comprehend how damaging women can be.

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Have had a similar experience in my past. Couldn't agree more.

[–]Bland-fantasie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Your son, OP?

I would feel terrible if it was your son. If it wasn’t your son, then you should delete this and repost with a fixed title out of consideration for his parents.

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It's the literal title of the news paper article.

[–]Sandwhale123 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Next time put it in quotation.

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

will do. sorry for any confusion caused.

[–]Bland-fantasie -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not an excuse. You know what you are doing.

[–]Signal_Pattern7869 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Mmm, gotta love me some pay wall.

[–]shit-zen-giggles[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

archive link and alternative sources have been added in the comments.

is scrolling down really more work than writing this comment?

[–]Neowwwwwwwww 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Stay safe everyone.

[+]Best-Magician-9740 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

don t protest don t speak out just keep sowolling this up unlick your feminist counterpart are working hard for thier advantages you guys just sit and whine like babies

as for me i migrated to the west to get money then go back to my shithole to business i will never have family here and i will never protest or express anything as its not my country to fight for

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