I find these to be more “opt out” answers. Many people who say these things to men who express frustration with dating don’t even believe it. It’s just the “correct” thing to say. Many romantically unsuccessful men don’t even have bad personalities. Their biggest barrier to success is their inability to meet the beauty standard and in turn, the minimum threshold required to be seen as a romantic interest to most women. I think these reasons are given deliberately to avoid having to omit the importance of physical attraction in dating and how looks can compensate for personality but personality can’t really compensate for looks.

This is anecdotal but in my life the most misogynistic and dehumanizing things I have heard said about women came from the mouths of men who slept with a few different women every month. It seems that how you “view” women has little bearing on how they view you if you fit the beauty standard very well. I genuinely believe that if we took a lot of these men who are told they are failing because of their “personality and how they view women” and copy and pasted their personality onto a highly attractive man, that man would have no trouble at all finding both short and long term relationships.