I see a lot of posts on the men's RP side of reddit about self-improvement. It seems a lot of their goals are uniform: stronger body, better at leading, more self-confidence etc. On the other hand, I believe that being a woman, especially in the modern day, means we have are allowed much more variety in how we choose to express or improve ourselves. And so when I think of the women around me, I cannot find one model of self-improvement that may fit all. Some women must learn to be more accepting of their flaws, others less so. Some should work harder, some should take more breaks. Some should learn to be more assertive, others should learn to be more accepting. What about you?

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For me, self improvement is non-liner and intuitive. I do whatever will make me most happy, balanced and healthy at the time, until I believe I deserve it. Eventually, higher standards become habits until my subconcious believes that I can settle for nothing less. My self-improvement is a cycle of trial and error, changing expectations, savoring small achievements, and noticing how I feel and grow along the way.

I am not harsh with myself, because doing so has lead me to dark places. Whereas for many men, being harsh with themselves does wonders, especially if it is their own choice! I am neither too forgiving of any current state of mine, as I believe life is constantly flowing and changing, and so should we. It is men's stoicism which balances our flow. This is a concept that took me a long time to accept. And so, what I see is that the self-improvement model most suitable with my womanly nature has room for experimentation, versatility, non-conformation, and non-linearity. What about you?

This is my current plan:

  1. Step by step, raise my GPA to a certain number necessary to get into higher education. I want to have higher degrees because I love to study my major. This love is so strong that I allowed it to become a central goal in my life. I deserve such love close to me.
  2. Weekly, view everything I experienced as a learning experience. Reflect once a week in therapy about what my experiences that week have taught me.
  3. Exercise 2-3 times a week because I pay money for it and because my body loves the feeling. Did you know exercise is also beneficial for mental health? Ladies who love themselves will believe that they deserve excellent mental health, and treat their minds and bodies to a fun form of moving.
  4. Keep in touch with others that I love, because I never know when they will need me or when I will need them.
  5. Be kind to most, because I don't know what's going on in their lives.

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The fruits so far have been:

  1. My gpa improved by nearly 10 points in one semester, and I even got personal compliments from my professors!
  2. With this mindset, resentments melt away and future expectations are lowered down to a realistic range. My therapist complimented me on my improved skills of self-assessment, reflection, and ability to change.
  3. I'm not quite sure yet, but it's fun and I look forward to every workout! I guess I've been having more energy during working hours.
  4. It's been wonderful to balance friendships.
  5. I've made some new friends. People started describing me as 'kind'. Whereas I used to be described as 'cold', 'shy', 'closed off.'

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Would any other lady like to share what self-improvement has been looking like for her recently?