Looking for some advice here. Here's the backstory: About ten years ago, my STBXW and I met overseas and moved to the US. We got married quickly for her visa, but it wasn't a real marriage. We agreed to marry later if we both agreed. Despite having evidence and witnesses, it doesn't seem to matter in California according to the family law attorneys I consulted.

Fast forward five years after our marriage, my ex backed out of our mediation process just as we were about to start. She pressured me to leave our apartment while I was on a family trip. Now she has hired an expensive lawyer and is seeking community property division, attorney's fees, and support, which is a complete change from what she was saying just weeks ago.

I feel betrayed and sick to my stomach having to give away a significant portion of my net worth and face financial burdens for years. It would be different if we had a proper wedding, but she denies we were ever really married. I cared for her, helped with her citizenship, went through therapy, and more. I thought she was my best friend, but now I see she was just using me and manipulating my kindness. She claims I was "financially abusive" because I didn't let her control our money, even after our separation. In reality, it was me refusing to move to an expensive area and buy property when she wasn't interested in working on our relationship.

Every morning, I wake up panicked about the impending financial setback. I'm 33, have no kids, and earn a good salary in tech sales, although it's been tougher lately. On top of that, I'll have to pay her a significant portion of my future commissions (around 20-30% pre-tax). I also have elderly parents to take care of, which adds to my financial responsibilities.

How can I cope with this crippling financial setback? It's overwhelming, especially combined with the feeling of being deceived and betrayed by someone I trusted so much.