Balancing being feminine and gym/weight loss, dating during self improvement?

Thiccsmartie · 2023-06-10T11:14:33+00:00

21-23 is a completely normal BMI, what are talking about? Under 18 is literally underweight. Truly concerned about your headspace OP.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2023-06-10T03:01:12+00:00

Ok so realistically, if you’re 35 the odds of you even being able to be below 18 bmi is like extremely minuscule.

23 bmi is not too big to attract someone at all.

You’re in a very all or nothing mentality. Just try to get in better shape and maintain a healthy weight.

Jenneapolis · 2023-06-10T17:56:54+00:00

If you are 30 and you want to be married then you need to get going, especially if you want kids. Waiting until 35 for example to even start dating, why?? You mentioned having no body count but do you have any dating experience at all? I think it’s very critical to put yourself out there with men now unless there is some mental health thing holding you back.

Relationships don’t just fall into your lap because you are a low BMI, they take a lot of effort and usually a lot of dates to find the right one. You will find yourself disappointed if you wait until you are certain BMI only to find relationships you want don’t work (because it happens to us all - it’s calculated trial and error). Having a certain weight is no guarantee for a successful relationship, make sure you read through all the materials here about using the skills and how important that is to creating the relationship you want.

xcheshirecatxx · 2023-06-10T13:28:07+00:00

Your bmi should never be under 18, it's literally under weight and considered dangerous for health, as well as a reason they would look if you're anorexic

I met my partner at a BMI of 26 and I'm now 23

Women can find a partner at every BMI, the healthy range giving the most changes, and certainly not underweight

2023-06-10T13:42:11+00:00

hi, i don't think you should be really hyperfocused on BMI as many doctors don't really even rely on it. there are many things that BMI doesn't take account into so it's just better to depend on other ways to measure your progress.

one of the healthiest is to have a dress that is a size or two smaller than your current size. or like going into calorie deficit and weighing yourself every sunday/saturday.

I am overweight and I have been thin and fat. Let me tell you that most men will be drawn to you because of the energy you radiate. and your energy depends on your self-esteem and happiness levels.

don't lose weight for anyone besides you. many women before you did it and they have said how the body dysmorphia and confidence problems just increased.

Lose weight because you want to be a healthier woman. Lose weight because it will help with your energy and focus levels. Lose weight because you want to be active and present.

I wish you good luck!

MsSmiley1230 · 2023-06-10T00:06:03+00:00

While being thinner might make it easier to find a relationship, lots of women find men while overweight. I’m overweight and married an amazing man who is constantly making me feel beautiful. Ironically, his praise makes me want to take better care of myself so I’ve lost about 15 pounds this year and I’m losing more. That being said, I wouldn’t not look for a LTR just because you’re overweight now. Just keep focusing on your progress while also being open to opportunities.

As far as what to wear, I am incapable of looking good at the gym. I might look decent at the start but at the end I’m sweaty and red faced. I would only worry about that if I was trying to find men at the gym.

diaryofalostgirl · 2023-06-09T23:12:48+00:00

Re: 1, are you looking to pull at the gym? Because unless you're convinced you'll meet your Captain there, I've always heard the rule is to wear what will help you work out.

I exercise in cute things because it makes me feel good and motivates me. If that's not you, wear whatever you want!

__CitrusJellyfish · 2023-06-09T23:51:03+00:00

I’m a bodybuilder and I’m 30. It’s hard work and discipline to build muscle, so don’t worry about getting ‘bulky’ - if you are, it’s likely fat gain and you’re overeating. Lifting doesn’t burn many cals compared to cardio, so hit protein targets but don’t go crazy overeating.

I typically wear a cropped shirt or fitted tank top with coloured leggings, or tight shorts with an oversized graphic shirt tucked. If it’s hot I’ll wear a long-line sports bra (tank style) with a nice back detail and full length leggings. Some less mainstream brands to try are Buffbunny, alphalete, bombshell, better bodies, echt, do you even, muscle nation, Gymshark.

For makeup, I just wear a BB cream over my skincare. I have my lashes tinted. I usually wear my hair down and I’ll braid the top to keep it out of my face. Mineral foundation works too and will hold better if you’re sweating. You can also set both with a translucent powder. I avoid any additional makeup beyond that as it tends to run/ smear and I prefer a ‘natural’ look.

If you see a guy you like, make eye contact, smile, and say hi whenever you see them around.

Edit: I wouldn’t focus too much on BMI or scale weight if you’re building muscle. It’s denser so you’ll look/ be smaller at a higher weight. I’m the same weight/ height as a couple of friends who don’t exercise, except I typically wear clothing 2 sizes smaller.

ireallyloveoats · 2023-06-10T02:37:21+00:00

You are over thinking it with the gym. Just go. And eat less. There is no excuse to not be in shape as a woman. You must become the most beautiful version of yourself you possibly can it's mission critical as a woman, as a man needs to produce as much money as his potential allows. Down vote me if you want but deep down inside you all know this is how nature works.

AutoModerator · 2023-06-09T21:50:15+00:00

Title: Balancing being feminine and gym/weight loss, dating during self improvement?

Full text: So I (30F) am in the process of working on losing weight and improving my health. For context, I’m single, overweight but no longer obese, and I do have a couple of health conditions that limit my diet and activity so while I’m steadily making progress, I anticipate I’ll be on this journey for a while. I’m looking for input and advice on 2 things.

How important is it to look cute and feminine at the gym? I know ideally we would want to present our best selves and be approachable at all times, and generally I try to be well groomed and put together when I leave the house. But when it comes to workouts, I just dress comfortably and focus on pushing myself to meet my goals, so I probably look red faced and messy. Losing weight is the #1 thing that will make me look better, but I also don’t want to be gross in the meantime. Am I overthinking it?
I get that thinner is better in terms of attracting men, but younger is also better. Everyone’s body is different but is there a general guideline on what is considered thin enough to be dateable for a LTR ? Like would I be better positioned waiting until I’m 35+ but have a BMI under 18, versus being 31-32 with a BMI of 23? I am traditional, religious, no body count, looking for marriage, and plan on staying in nun mode until I’m at least in the healthy weight range for my height.

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throwaway2939400 · 2023-06-12T01:55:05+00:00

I think looking glam at the gym is not necessary but if you are single and looking for a relationship, I’d stick with the attitude of “I could meet my husband anywhere I go, so I should look good and be prepared.” This includes the gym! Don’t try to look cute for your workouts by compromising the sweat and red face, but try and wear something nice and not raggedy. Put your hair into a neat bun or ponytail/ braid instead of a rats nest. Again, it’s good that you’re turning red and breaking a sweat. But with all of the cute options out there, maybe wear a matching outfit or a nice tracksuit instead of your bottom drawer sweats.

LateralThinker13 · 2023-06-13T14:17:39+00:00

I’ve been having an all or nothing mindset with thinking I need a perfect body to be attractive

The scale goes from 1 to 10; it isn't JUST 1 and 10.

It seems like I’ve reached the point where putting off dating to work on myself isn’t an effective strategy

You learn by DOING, correct.

Basing my idea of “what men like” from surveys and articles, rather than looking at what type of women have happy, successful relationships

To quote Yogi Bera, "In theory, theory is the same as practice. In practice, it isn't."

Jumping to your questions, here you go.

How important is it to look cute and feminine at the gym?

It isn't, unless you're using the gym to find dates... which will piss a lot of guys off. Guys are wary of gym thots. Treat the gym like your workplace, and understand the rewards and perils of dating there before you start.

I get that thinner is better in terms of attracting men, but younger is also better.

Younger is more important than thinner, but both matter. What's more, your trajectory matters, too. If you can point to steady gains over months or years, men will take that into account - though they'll ask how you got obese in the first place, too.

Title	Balancing being feminine and gym/weight loss, dating during self improvement?
Author	Mighty_Wombat42
Upvotes	2
Comments	26
Date	June 9, 2023 9:50 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/145hxg5/balancing_being_feminine_and_gymweight_loss/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/balancing-being-feminine-and-gymweight-loss-dating.1221776 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221776

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