She’s going to drag this to court

jimsmythee · 2023-06-26T16:11:31+00:00

I agree with someone below, one of her friends whispered in her ear that she could get a lot more in the divorce, if she goes to trial. That happened to my exwife too.

In my AZ divorce, going to court versus my settlement offer? It cost her big time. 11 year marriage, 2 kids. She refused to work, pill popping SAHM, claimed she was too sick to work.

She wanted 50% of my take home pay in alimony. to get this over, I offered her 20% and then 25%. She refused to budge because she wanted maximum CS $'s.

She wanted full custody (and to forget about her DUI w/ kids in the car) and for me to have visitation only. I offered her 40% custody for me, 60% for her. She refused.

List went on and on of everything she wanted. I got tired and said, "See you at trial!"

In the end? The judge made her ruling. She gave her $0 alimony. I got 50/50 custody of the kids. I kept my house and my car. She got 50% of my 401k, because it was a marital asset.

It took her 2 days to stop screaming.

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-06-26T15:31:33+00:00

can I go after her for lawyers fees ?

Well, you can always ask. No harm in that. Every judge is different, but mine only awarded the difference (e.g.: if you spent $6k in legal fees and she spent $5k, the judge might only award $1k). But again, the judge needs to be convinced that she is to blame for the litigation.

Interesting that she's trying for more than what her lawyer says. No doubt one of her divorced friends has whispered in her ear, and convinced her she can get more.

If she refuses to negotiate, and wants to go to court, there are ways of discouraging her. She'll have to pay a lawyer something up-front, and generally divorce lawyers don't work on contingency. In other words, they need to paid as they work. Once litigation starts, you can bury her in paper (when you're asked to produce a document, give them paper copies, more than necessary, out-of-order, with duplicates; it forces her lawyer to spend time reviewing them). You can also refuse to turn over documents and force her lawyer to file motions to compel (takes time and costs money). You can file countermotions to slow things down.

Basically, you can make litigation expensive and slow for her. Perhaps once she gets a taste of it, she'll get the idea.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-06-26T16:49:43+00:00

Happening to me right this very second. She was two months late submitting her financial statements due to a long list of bogus excuses. Then when it did show up only like 60% of the documents were there.

We asked her lawyer to obtain the missing documents - my wife asked why they were necessary and her lawyer explained that they need to tally everything up so they can estimate the 50/50 split - she fired her lawyer on the spot and thus far hasn’t retained a new one. I’m guessing I’m going to be in for a fight.

waltrautfishing · 2023-06-26T16:39:30+00:00

This depends on your state. My ex husband did something similar, demanded a laughable amount of alimony, I offered something incredibly reasonable at mediation. He refused to negotiate and we went to trial. He came after me for all of his attorney’s fees, but the judge found that I had to pay only a proportionate share of the total equivalent to the alimony ratio.

He incurred about $50k in fees, I ended up paying about $20k. Similar to a story told in here, it took days for him to stop screaming.

Some people truly believe they deserve to be “paid for” and there are plenty of hangers-on who want them to wring you dry so they can benefit. Keep your head on, stay strong, and remember they want to take from you because they know they could never create it themselves.

IAIM2023 · 2023-06-27T14:56:26+00:00

Do you have that statement on record? (E.g. text, voice, etc). These type of court manipulation pisses of the judge, especially if there is evidence of it.

roseisjustarose · 2023-06-26T15:24:19+00:00

Short answer: yes

dadplup · 2023-06-26T23:32:28+00:00

My goal was to make sure it was done in a legal way and for this to be finalized with or without her, and before she left town, so she had to be served,

She was served with the papers and the custody hearing summons , on the same day I read the filing my lawyer turned in and in it there was a clause that she would be asking the judge for my ex to pay the lawyer fees if she dragged it on unnecessarily, I'm not sure how much it was truth, but that convinced her to not drag it out. In the end she left town without answering the papers or showing up to the custody hearing, sometimes it works in strange ways

Facers70 · 2023-06-27T04:15:19+00:00

Only work on any and everything through your lawyer. Do not engage or negotiate with her directly. EVER!!!!

Title	She’s going to drag this to court
Author	Hour_Neat6809
Upvotes	14
Comments	17
Date	June 26, 2023 3:19 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14jk4r5/shes_going_to_drag_this_to_court/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/shes-going-to-drag-this-to-court.1223544 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223544

Comments