Telling neurodivergent/ugly men that they have no excuse is psychological abuse

Dumboddball · 2023-07-24T14:58:16+00:00

Based post.

FairyMachine · 2023-07-24T18:00:39+00:00

People forget (somehow... conveniently?) that autism is a disability.

ropecelling · 2023-07-24T22:20:27+00:00

if those men had the same reading comprehension as some female users on this sub they'd be much happier because ignorance is bliss

Drougen · 2023-07-24T20:43:08+00:00

It has to be frustrating. I'm 6' 205 lbs, am average to slightly above average in looks and my dating life has been pretty bland. Mostly because I don't get out much and don't put any effort into pursuuing women but I've still managed to get relationships here and there despite that.

Beebum5 · 2023-07-24T14:48:24+00:00

There are just as equally ugly and desperate chicks you can go for, if you won’t go for one of them don’t complain.

KayRay1994 · 2023-07-24T15:40:37+00:00

Let’s not make neurodivergent and ugly interchange. They’re not
You have no excuse - if you’re neurodivergent, you’ll have a set of strengths you lean on and weaknesses you can improve; and this is coming from a very neurodivergent man btw, so there are tons of elements you can work on whether it be through putting yourself out there or different types of therapy (whether it be individual or group), sure, it’ll be harder - but it is what is is tbh, the odds never were equal. As for if you’re ugly, sure, there are some realities you’ll have to come to grips with - such as the fact that you will have to lower your standards, even if you work on yourself, but, the good news is if you do put in the work as a 3 or 4 let’s say, you can up yourself to a 5 and even if that’s your upper cap, then so be it - sounds a lot better than being a miserable pouty loser tbh (frankly unless you’re a 1-2, there is some level of hope - and no, most of y’all on here aren’t 1-2 cause most people aren’t down that bad - you just have low self esteem and tons of bitterness)

So no, you have no excuses - and by calling it “psychological abuse” you’re both showing us how weak willed you are while simultaneously overplaying the word abuse to where it begins to lose its meaning

Chad_Thundercock717 · 2023-07-24T16:42:57+00:00

Wtf is neurodivergent? You know how I know it's not real? It's not in autocorrect.

MistyMaisel · 2023-07-24T18:59:47+00:00

They don't really have an excuse in the sense that they must learn to work around this and not expect others to change. They must learn to carry their own weight and care for themselves without expecting others to adjust.

Put most bluntly, I've seen someone win martial arts tournaments with sprained ankles. Yes, it is incredibly painful and takes a major act of the will, no, it is not impossible. Yes, to a certain degree, there is something weak and pathetic about not playing through the pain, especially, if in the case of neurodivergence, that isn't going away. It is your normal. You have to learn to overcome it and work with. There is honor and respect to be had for people who try to overcome fate or at least rise to meet it. The people who snivel and cry under fate are somewhat correctly looked down upon as people taking the easy way out on life by accepting the excuse of fate.

And, if you were the coach of the guy at the martial arts tournament and knew how hard he worked to get there and his goals, you wouldn't say to him that everyone will understand if he just sits down and doesn't fight. You tell him he's a pussy and to get out there and win. And that he can ice his ankle when he's wearing the gold. He's gonna have a sprained ankle no matter what. Would he rather have a sprained ankle and a picture of another guy holding his trophy? You've got no excuses, you choose which way your life goes.

hyjlnx · 2023-07-24T22:35:44+00:00

You cannot equate being unloved with having a physical injury.When you sprain your ankle it is implicitly implied this is an ailment that will correct itself in and of itself but the same is not true for being unloved because it involves another individual and you cannot force someone to love you.

If you are unloved suck it up because its your problem and no one else's.
we can't love you so just try accept it instead of getting angry and becoming an armed toddler having a tantrum.

People die unloved and alone every single day.

what do you want? state enforced big tiddy goth gfs?
I can guarantee you imagine you would be happy if you got what you wanted because that is the extent of the foresight and general conscious awareness of an incel.

FortniteAbobus · 2023-07-24T23:18:59+00:00

Price vs. Reward

FightMeCthullu · 2023-07-25T12:10:55+00:00

I disagree. I’ll tell you why.

I have ADHD. My fiancé has autism.

These things do make life harder. We cannot control the ways on which they make life harder. We can’t control how we feel about the fact that life is harder.

BUT. We can control what we choose to do about it.

My ADHD makes life very difficult - chronically late, shit working memory, poor impulse control. But that does not give mr permission to not try and develop those skills and it does not excuse me from accountability when I don’t control myself and fuck shit up. If I blew all my money on ordering takeout and couldn’t afford rent….I mean, my ADHD might be the reason but that doesn’t change the fact that I made poor decisions. It won’t excuse my rent for the week. It might earn me some sympathy and it may help me appeal to my landlord to work out a way to defer the payment while I get my crap together but it does NOT excuse me from responsibility.

My fiancé’s social skills sometimes falter. His autism might be why but that doesn’t change the fact that when he says something hurtful even if it was unintentional he will always apologise. Even if it was out of ignorance he hurt someone’s feelings.

Neurodivergence does not mean you aren’t expected to be responsible for your actions. Neurodivergence means you should receive some extra grace/understanding when you fuck up as a result of it, but it really isn’t an excuse for shitty behaviour. If you are so severely autistic you cannot function without full time care it’s an excuse, but if you are able To reason and think as an adult It is not an excuse at all.

My is life is extremely difficult due to my ADHD. That is a fact. I am disadvantaged. That is a fact. But that does not mean I get to act without experiencing consequence.

Neurodivergence isn’t sn excuse for acting poorly, it can add CONTEXT to why it happened but any hurt or harm caused must be accounted for.

Lovedbythesunandmoon · 2023-07-26T03:49:24+00:00

What are you suggesting autism is an excuse for? Nobody is owed intimacy, that's something that has to be earned.

Title	Telling neurodivergent/ugly men that they have no excuse is psychological abuse
Author	Affinity4186
Upvotes	34
Comments	93
Date	July 24, 2023 2:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/AllPillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/158cpbe/telling_neurodivergentugly_men_that_they_have_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/telling-neurodivergentugly-men-that-they-have-no.1226332 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226332

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