Was married 15 years. Adored her. We were virgins when we met and came from Christian background. I thought the one thing that would keep us together would be losing our virginity. Wrong.

What would I do differently? Nothing.

I've been divorced for over 2 years now. She remarried and we co parent well.

We never connected. She was selfish and when it wasn't all about her and my turn to pursue my goals and dreams she checked out. I could go on and on but it's nothing you haven't seen here. It's the same shit different marriage blah blah blah.

 

So what did I learn? Well despite the worst 7 years of trying to reconcile and divorce and having a child in the midst of it. (tested he's mine). I learned that my freedom and pursing my goals and calling in life will cost me everything. I also learned that it would be worth it.

I learned to set goals and stick to them. I learned not to settle. I learned that once I embraced the journey and over turned every stone, as hard as it was....I have absolutely no regrets. None.

As a result......I'm better in every single aspect of my life. I'm wealthy, healthy, have a girlfriend who respect and adores me. (Oddly enough she read one of my old posts here and reached out to me). My son adores me.

The journey was difficult but I managed to become the strongest person every and I'm financially stable. I kid you not.......each and every aspect of my life has improved despite the hell I walked through.

My now gf says she wishes we would have met younger but I told her we wouldn't have worked out because of all the shit we've walked through previous is who made us better.

So yes, it does get better and you can do it without being bitter. It takes time.

I recommend that men sit down and think things through. Think about what you want and where you want to go. I got absolutely everything I wanted in the divorce. (It was no cake walk trust me). We share custody 50/50. I actually make up the 3% of men in divorce as I wasn't the bread winner.

I wasn't perfect in the midst of everything but I wouldn't change anything. I have no regrets. The future is bright and I'm at peace. I have no ill will towards anyone. I have righted ALL the wrongs in my life. Some of which I messed up. The last piece that I have to finish is truly and finally letting go. It'll come. I have no attachment to my ex wife. None.......but I have not been able to fully let go. I married for life and she did the worst thing you could do to someone that you gave your virginity to.....she cheated.

That said I know I'll be able to let go. Like a scab that finally falls off. It'll just happen and won't be a big deal.

I'm thankful for the process and journey. I would kill the ole me with my bare hands today. And that's not an over statement. I was such a immature little boy prior.....and now I look in the mirror and like what I see. I smile at myself. I really do like me. I'm not perfect but damn it....I made it.

Onward and upward gentlemen. Hang in there.....get your morals, ethics, values, and principles down. Don't think with your dick. And you'll be fine. Most of all take your time on the journey. Yes it is hard, yes it is unfair. BUT it is a season and as all seasons do.....it will pass.

Cheers.