Beginning TTC woes

ivysaurah · 2023-09-12T02:48:03+00:00

Personally, I never shared clinical stuff about my ovulation while TTC. We knew we were trying. I just seduced him/took charge during my fertile windows, I never said when I was ovulating. But we are very uhh active regularly so it’s not difficult to get him going. I felt weird putting pressure onto something as natural and fun as intimacy. Currently 39 weeks. Maybe try this approach if this is an issue for you. The less stress/pressure the better.

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-09-12T02:38:49+00:00

Definitely don't talk to him about it. You said it's never happened before, so making a big deal out of it is going to make him feel awful and increase the chance of a repeat issue. He seems really excited to try for a baby, so it's probably just a lot of pressure to perform. I'd recommend not telling him you're ovulating next time. Just initiate on the two days surrounding your fertile window. That's often the recommended timing and there's no reason to inform him when you're both on board with trying.

StunningSort3082 · 2023-09-12T03:24:54+00:00

Just have sex every other day regardless of where you are in your cycle, and don’t overthink things.

Legitimate_Dingo17 · 2023-09-12T06:34:50+00:00

Hey, how exciting! I've been in this exact situation while ttc and it's really really difficult to cope with, I totally understand. You've got all the right ideas about it. It's definitely a pressure to perform thing and the worse your reaction, the more it could end up happening and turn into a cycle. What was his reaction? I would suggest just not making a big deal of it, showing him lots of affection, and not lingering on the situation, because he probably already feels as crappy as possible about it. Try not mentioning your fertile windows, so to him sex doesn't become a chore (crazy I know, but it can happen lol) and he doesn't feel so much pressure that he can't perform. Make sure you're intimate with him across the month too, you never want him to feel like you might only be putting on a show to catch the egg!

These are all things I realised too late, as I've had a baby now and to be honest, I'm still trying to repair our sex life after ttc being at the center of it for so long.

Also I know it's so difficult but try not to take it personally, it's never you and he would probably hate for you to feel that it was. Best of luck :)

FriendCountZero · 2023-09-12T14:17:48+00:00

I'm 30 been off the pill for a year, we have sex at least 4 times a week, and often more, still nothing. You could have a long road ahead, so don't get too antsy! The best things in life take time.

Low_Mango_265 · 2023-09-12T11:22:58+00:00

This is pretty common.... a performance anxiety of sorts. I never told my husband when I was ovulating because it does up the pressure. Just let it go and good luck TTC.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-09-12T14:43:35+00:00

So....one time and you are hamstering away like it's the Apocalypse?

I instinctively want to talk about this but I think that’s probably a bad idea.

Probably the worst idea in the history of ideas, at least from your perspective. I mean, clearly there were worse ideas, like genocide, or leaving Bill Buckner in during the late innings of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, but yes, talking about it Will Not Help and will Likely Make Things Way Worse.

I don’t want to put anymore pressure on it/emasculate him but omg… really?

Yes, OMG, really. Close your mouth, keep your mouth closed, and breathe through your nose. If he brings it up say, "Oh, I'm sure it was just the booze, no worries, let me know when you're ready."

AutoModerator · 2023-09-12T02:26:35+00:00

Title: Beginning TTC woes

Full text: So my husband and I are finally at the point where we want to have a baby! Very exciting! The first cycle we didn’t really make a big deal of it and nothing happened. I’m 34, I know it can take some time.

This cycle is my fertile window. I mentioned it. My husband got excited and asked me questions about ovulation and how it all works. It made me so happy he seems so genuinely interested and excited about it. I said- maybe we should try to make a baby tonight?? And he agreed enthusiastically, queue jokes about how we can have sex alllll the time.

We had some drinks and talked about our future hypothetical baby. He had more drinks… and then we went upstairs and began to fool around. And then… nothing. This has never happened before regardless of drinks. We tried for awhile and he just couldn’t get it up. I’m really disappointed. I know the drinks and the pressure yadda yadda… I just didn’t expect this to be an issue and now I’m getting very nervous about this entire situation.

I instinctively want to talk about this but I think that’s probably a bad idea. I don’t want to put anymore pressure on it/emasculate him but omg… really? Can someone talk me off the ledge here. I think I’m just a little shocked because we have never had this issue before.

So how can I try to avoid this but also keep consistency for TTC? Can I spin this somehow? He seemed so excited and passionate earlier, it makes me very confused.

Help!

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Title	Beginning TTC woes
Author	ladida1321
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	September 12, 2023 2:26 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/16gf4ju/beginning_ttc_woes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/beginning-ttc-woes.1231521 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231521

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