What do you think in the toughest struggle of being a man in day to day life?

Clockw0rk · 2023-09-20T18:58:30+00:00

I'm going to say, the prevalence of misandry in the modern day.

Men are assumed guilty by default, wearing the sins of the worst of us as a whole.

If we're alone around children, we're presumed to be predators. If we're minding our own business on the street, it's assumed we're looking for trouble. If we're walking behind a woman, we're a potential threat.

What a wretched, hateful society. There's no wonder why so many men feel bitterly alone.

aries0413 · 2023-09-20T19:30:27+00:00

Realizing that if you fail no one is coming to help.

Alert_Swordfish8711 · 2023-09-20T21:18:49+00:00

Being told you are guilty and privileged when you are neither

Marada781 · 2023-09-21T05:48:17+00:00

Being treated as walking wallets, man always has to pay, woman need to be supported and helped. Couple of single fathers I know were told by Judges to go steal if they couldn’t afford the child support they imposed.

Inskription · 2023-09-21T01:04:24+00:00

I can't shake the feeling that no matter what I am being used by someone.

AlternativeTop511 · 2023-09-20T22:28:39+00:00

Having to not only take the responsibility of your own problems but women’s problems as well. Sometimes even ones you don’t know

Cybralisk · 2023-09-20T21:08:17+00:00

Dating is the absolute worst, It was not this hard 10 years ago. All women want that top 1% man and just ignore everyone else.

Creski · 2023-09-20T21:07:13+00:00

I'll share mine, I show up to my son's student and parent events as usually the only one male parent or one of the few, and I'm always eyeballed and asked why my wife isn't there.

Ladies she works in a hospital and usually trapped there by her great work ethic....and that mentality is sexist AF.

Recent_Wear5811 · 2023-09-20T21:16:38+00:00

Lack of emotional understanding and support. It's a difficult subject to approach for men, and we are 100% seen as less, especially by women if we are more emotional. People can say "oh I wouldn't think any less of you for opening up emotionally," and perhaps in some cases, that's true, but generally, no, it's a lie.

Edit: Also, being a 50/50 dad, working on the days I don't have my son, 12 hour shifts, with no support from the government while juggling cleaning, working out, trying to actually eat somewhat well and dealing with a toxic ex and their family that stopped me having 50/50 with my boy for 6 months until I had the court documents ready to go.

elebrin · 2023-09-20T19:21:12+00:00

For a single full time working man, I think it's the really basic stuff: finding a GP that will take you, finding a dentist and eye doctor who will take you and scheduling that stuff around work, getting in appointments with financial advisors and lawyers and keeping your ducks in a row. Keeping up on all that stuff and then still trying to have a social life is very difficult. Men's wellness isn't taken seriously by society at all, even figuring out what sort of things you should be doing is challenging.

When you can do that stuff as a family it's a lot easier, but women don't want that.

Sad_Bell_6266 · 2023-09-20T21:04:40+00:00

Being told to be a man even if that "being a man" thing is an emasculating task for me in itself.

Objective_Moment3114 · 2023-09-20T22:50:53+00:00

Burying your rights

AvailableAd1232 · 2023-09-21T09:48:16+00:00

Having women treat us like we exist to be used.

Mobile_Lumpy · 2023-09-20T23:10:31+00:00

Thinking about just ending it every single second. Why be here if society explicitly told you they don't want you in it?

Intrepid-Fan-6122 · 2023-09-20T21:41:41+00:00

Being surrounded by femininists in my 80% female profession who see the world totally differently than I do and not being able to speak my mind for fear of being ostracized and punished. They believe in the patriarchy, view women as victims, and think sex (not just gender) exists on a continuum. The world is going increasingly mad and we're not allowed to call it out lest we be cancelled.

Prestige_worldwide47 · 2023-09-21T06:06:37+00:00

1) The subpar customer service when you are a lone man 2)no one besides friends wants to talk with you about ideas, mostly superficial shit 3) society views your kindness for weakness 4) the common man has to have their shit together on a level never seen throughout the ages for a modicum of respect; you literally have to be a renaissance man these days just to beg for a seat at the same table offered to others by virtue of their race, gender, sexual orientation.

knight_call1986 · 2023-09-21T12:56:18+00:00

This comment below was posted in an old thread about men having it hard and not opening up more. Iirc I think it was a woman who made this comment. But I think this was probably the most on point comment I have ever read:

"You think you're ready. You're not ready.
You're ready for a few manly tears, like Grey Worm admitting he was afraid to lose Missandei.
You're not ready for ugly-crying, lying in the fetal position and rocking, going to pieces, being unable to function. You're not ready for horizonless grey depression that you can't 'cheer him up' to dispel. You're not ready for crippling anxiety. You're not ready for incoherent anger at everything and nothing for no reason. You're not ready for him to be lost and helpless and afraid, hanging out over the abyss with no way back.
Women in our society tend to have huge social support networks, and wide societal acceptance, indeed positive encouragement, for displays of vulnerability and pain.
Men... do not. They don't get support or affection from friends and co-workers - and displays of vulnerability are absolute suicide, both professionally and socially.
Inside Out is true only for girls. If a boy had been on a tree branch, crying becasue his team had lost... it wouldn't have summoned an outpouring of love and support from the people closest to him. He'd have been pulled out of that tree, shamed, abused, mocked and made a pariah for it. And that's just by the mother.
There is no socially-acceptable outlet for any of it, so we just have to tank the damage and bottle it up until we break.
Men in this society are valued for capability, reliability and durability. Anything that threatens their productivity, or could render them a liability rather than an asset in any given situation... makes them widely considered to be worthless.
It sucks absolute donkey balls, it's profoundly destructive, and it shouldn't be this way, but it is.
And on top of that, guys get told they're not being intimate enough if they don't 'open up', so they have to carefully craft a second mask, over the top of the first one, simulating just a little tiny but of emotional leakage, but not enough to threaten their perceived usefulness.
Of course they dare not let anything real slip out; for one thing they get no opportunity to practice a controlled release at any point in their lives, and for a second the sheer quantity of shit they're holding back will destroy the entire dam if they poke a little hole in it.
So they're left in the extremely stressful and burdensome position of having to perform fake vulnerability for your benefit, while keeping the lid screwed down even harder on the real thing. Because that's fun and enjoyable, no ma'am it is not.
And every one of us has made the mistake, once in our lives, of thinking that this person is different, this person is safe and trustworthy and close enough to see what's really under the armour. And every one of us has seen love and admiration die in their eyes in realtime, and convert into disgust and contempt. Has heard their partner forming exit strategies in their head, and felt the whole relationship wither and die shortly thereafter.
It's like watching someone who just signed on a home discover that it's riddled with termites. Something vital dies there and then; instead of it being home/security/stability/future, it becomes a betrayal and a liability in their eyes - and even if the problems get patched up, they'l never feel the same way about it again.
None of us make that mistake twice.
Again: this is not how things should be. It's a dire imprecation of everything that's wrong with our culture, and the profoundly maladaptive coping mechanisms that result are damaging in the extreme.
This needs profound cultural change from the ground up. It needs vulnerability for men and boys presented as normal and acceptable, right from early childhood. It needs representation and role models, it needs interactions played out and healthy modes of support and just plain tolerance portrayed as the norm - and not just unworkable direct transplants from female-support-network models either.
Asking guys to just go throw themselves in the fire so you can feel more valued (before deciding that you'd rather feel valued by someone more resilient instead) is not an option."

Hithereeveyone · 2023-09-21T02:12:17+00:00

Dating. Etc. Threat of false accusations

imbetterthanyou30 · 2023-09-21T03:45:04+00:00

Working in a corporate environment with women.

Contranovae · 2023-09-20T22:33:34+00:00

The threat of violence by other men.

I was until recently (due to an injury) an uber driver and driving into the ghetto areas always made me aware that there are lots of men out there fuelled by racial hate towards me.

This was compounded a hundredfold by the blight of fatherlessness in these very same areas. I sincerely believe that that epidemic is more harmful as crack was in the 90's and as meth is now.

legend0102 · 2023-09-21T11:32:39+00:00

Loneliness. Which has many other implications

Grand_Ad_864 · 2023-09-21T13:23:57+00:00

Finding a job. I remeber a reddit post which was about someone applying for jobs with similar resumes but different genders. The female one got like nearly 900% more response for the professional roles. For nonprofessional roles, like minimum wage supermarket jobs, the female resume got over 900% more responses.

Imagine being a young guy who just turned 16 and is unable to find even the lowest-status jobs like minimum-wage supermarket jobs. The only options you would have would be hard labour like the trades.

r_c2999 · 2023-09-21T16:15:24+00:00

most of the world literally hates you

Interesting_Ad_1680 · 2023-09-21T02:32:25+00:00

In America, the high likely hood of have part of your penis cut off, without your consent, just hours after being born. That’s a pretty rough start to life.

mrkpxx · 2023-09-21T12:47:57+00:00

Empathie-Gap.

knight_call1986 · 2023-09-21T12:52:56+00:00

- That rejection and disappointment is a part of a man's daily existence.

- No one cares about our problems. Only if the problems interfere with our ability to provide.

- That the goal posts are constantly moving. So like for us usually means that we have to play 5D chess with people who are playing checkers just to get through the day.

- That you can have your entire life ruined just because of a false allegation.

- Being told to open up more, and when you do you are demonized for it.

whathappened2cod · 2023-09-21T18:14:56+00:00

The pressures of being financially sound/successful career.

habbo311 · 2023-09-21T19:52:36+00:00

Work hard and get zero back in return. There's no incentives left for men to succeed in life in America. Women will always treat you like shit

DismalParticular4799 · 2023-09-21T22:26:48+00:00

Knowing that without money and connections I'm 100% alone in this. All the rest is surface level non cares, and violence if I pursue changes in the spew of misandry driven dogma.

walterwallcarpet · 2023-09-21T03:30:19+00:00

Kenjataimu.

Life_Exercise_7108 · 2023-09-21T17:29:07+00:00

Not earning money Parents treat you like shit girls treat you like shit friends treat you like shit. One you have earn good money everybody just become you slave.

NoDecentNicksLeft · 2023-09-23T14:18:26+00:00

Basically living. Even having the will to live, given how hated we are, vilified, negated and put down just for being male. Myself, at this point, I'd rather die than live on.

Title	What do you think in the toughest struggle of being a man in day to day life?
Author	StansfieldGoBoom
Upvotes	65
Comments	60
Date	September 20, 2023 4:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/16nq6o2/what_do_you_think_in_the_toughest_struggle_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-do-you-think-in-the-toughest-struggle-of.1232468 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232468

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