The damage is done

ooa3603 · 2023-12-04T23:46:30+00:00

You're addicted to it because it appeals to an insecurity (or several) you have.

You're deeply afraid of some aspect of yourself and/or your relationships with women, so you drink the redpill koolaid because it makes you feel good (or at least feel like you're in control) about whatever you're afraid of.

This is the nature of all vices.

We use them to escape our problems instead of facing them.

So until you face your insecurities and bring them out into the open to be dealt with you'll keep going back.

latenerd · 2023-12-05T00:56:36+00:00

I think you're having a fear/trauma response. You feel like these redpill men are a threat (which they are). And you want to argue them out of their ridiculousness. But you can't. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. They will not hear the truth unless they want to. You can make responses to YouTube videos or whatever, but only if it doesn't hurt you or ruin your day.

You have to realize that you should never, ever have to argue that you are a human being who deserves dignity. If someone doesn't already agree with that, then any discussion you have with them will be pointless. Better to avoid that person and enforce strict boundaries to keep them away from you.

The block button works and feels great.

My advice? Find more channels dedicated to women and opposing redpill bs. Find an online community that cares about women's perspectives and women's well being and safety. Those creators deserve more of your time and attention. And they will help you feel more hopeful.

featherblackjack · 2023-12-04T23:32:19+00:00

Feel free to do all the debunking you like! We need as much pushback as we can get, voices to tell young men that redpill is nonsense. Male voices will be taken more seriously, as sad as that is.

Brilliant_Program_39 · 2023-12-04T21:31:25+00:00

Well, this is certainly a lot to unpack, but we've seen worse here. The good thing is you're in therapy, but you want to make sure your therapist is using the right methods to untwist your mind. They did mind rape you. It's horrible what they did to you guys when you needed someone the most.

Granted, I don't know you, but I sense you may have both psychological trauma (maybe C-PTSD) and OCD. Both are completely understandable from the abuse that the Manosphere dished out. I would make sure your therapist knows point blank that you're dealing with what sounds like obsessive compulsive ruminations, severe dissonance, and addiction (though I can only tell so much from text).

If you're willing to share your "feminine energy" essay, maybe we can read it and poke holes in it. This can help give you something else to study, which can then break up the ruminations (I have severe OCD myself which is why I generally don't date unless the man is an absolute glutton for punishment lol).

Don't stress, you're not broken forever. You just need the proper resources to heal.

SweelFor- · 2023-12-04T22:44:35+00:00

I'm not really sure what the problem is. Most of us here are also just here to talk about relationships and what is wrong with RP ideas.

I do that and I don't consider it a problem. Why is it a problem for you?

Lady_Beatnik · 2023-12-05T16:14:01+00:00

I hope you don't mind me asking, but have you ever been tested for ADHD? It kind of sounds like you're having fixation or "jumping around" problems.

spiraldinosaur · 2023-12-05T17:39:00+00:00

You tried to go cold turkey, but what did you do to fill that gap. You've tried removing the negative content from your field of view, but where are you going for the positive content to change your perspective? What are you doing to access therapy? What are you doing to change the things that are leading you to red pill in the first place? What are you doing to actively undo the damage that's been done?

You can't just turn it off and think that will do the trick. The ideas are already there in your head and they'll be there regardless of whether you watch more content or not. If you want to actually undo the damage, you need to start doing the exercise needed to repair those mental muscles and get them working the way they're supposed to.

Nuclearwaifu · 2023-12-06T04:42:09+00:00

It‘s understandable you want to be rid of it but are drawn to debunking it. I think it‘s a natural result of that kind of break free of cults be that online or irl. Red pill is a financial cult fueled by far right and right wing wealthy ppl and the best way out is to sit with it and also not quit cold turkey. Check out channels like Hbomberguy (especially his older response vids) and also vaush. They do debunk a lot of redpill bs and I feel they could be a good outlet for that. Same with xanderhal who was groomed by the alt right as a teen to young adult and then became a leftist streamer. All of these might give you what you need.

hotmama-45 · 2023-12-10T07:24:24+00:00

You do know that all redpill crap is misogynistic, right??
Examples: women have no value after 40, they are only good for their beauty and fertility, men don't want single moms, etc.
So my question to you is, "Was/Is your dad misogynistic?" "Was your grandfather?" There might be something in your bloodline that pulls you in to this junk.
Its hard to help men that actually think "Fresh and Fit" and Tate are role models.

It also might be helpful to know that Redpill crap just lives on the Internet. I have tons of healthy, male role models in my life who don't "live" on the Internet. If you mentioned to them words like hypergamy, 309's, Chad and Tyrone; they would look at you with a puzzling face. Real men don't even know this crap exists.

Just stay away from EVERYTHING and completely detox!!!

Ecstatic-Priority488 · 2023-12-10T12:02:27+00:00

I'm a woman & I have a pretty similar problem.

I've stopped believing or thinking that I should help men in those spaces, unfortunately... Because in order to help that means you're going to be in those spaces a lot & the poison will get to you.

So I get where u're coming from. & I don't know what the solution is. For me it's throwing it all together :/ & only helping those who already are looking for a way out.

Maybe make it a one-time project for a few months. Then put it all to rest & shun it all off.

Title	The damage is done
Author	Brilliant_Program_39
Upvotes	12
Comments	23
Date	December 4, 2023 9:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/18audrg/the_damage_is_done/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/the-damage-is-done.1240026 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240026

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