I posted yesterday and received awesome feedback.

I’m starting to read When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.

As far as I can tell, the two major improvements I can make in my LTR are STFU and doing the stuff I want without caring if it upsets her.

However, I’ve done some of that in the past and she’s literally turned batshit crazy to the point where I actually got scared.

The “worst” I’ve done was tell her I booked my flight to go to Cancun with a buddy to go on a boat he rented and she guessed there were going to be prostitutes on it (I found out later she was right) - I canceled and didn’t go because I pushed her too far and I literally told myself it would be morally wrong to go.

I mean, I don’t want to go on a boat with prostitutes - it’s not my thing. I was just doing it to make it “worse before it gets better”.

The other event where something similar happened is when I went to a friend’s birthday abroad for a weekend and someone I once dated was there - although she didn’t turn batshit crazy it was CONSTANT nagging for weeks prior and weeks afterwards.

This is where I’m not sure where the STFU and “do what you want” come in. In the second occasion, I did STFU and did go by myself regardless of her feelings, and she still brought up the topic almost daily for weeks.

So are you saying my goal should be to do this kind of stuff several times in a row until she accepts it? And just accept she will try to destroy me daily for… say… 6 months? And then it gets better?

Thanks for your advice