In our marriage, there is no abuse, no addiction, no health or wellness issues, or infidelity (that I'm aware of). We have been together 19 years, married for 15, parents for 13. We agreed before marriage that I would stay at home, and we would be a single income (hers) family. She is planning to file at the end of the school year (I actively homeschool our daughter).

Sexless for 5 years, sexless for probably another 5 before that. Affection overall started out okay, I would have wanted more to start, but it consistently got lower over the years. Most people are probably saying by now that I should have seen this coming. I've always wondered if other married people who have their exit strategies planned out were too cynical, or if I've been naive all these years. I'm finding out the answer now.

I am also from a culture and country where it is still normal, even expected!, for couples to stay together and work through everything. It is also normal for children to live with their parents until they are married or can support themselves and want independence. My wife is Caucasian, born in Kentucky. I mention this cultural difference because it seems to be a factor in our marriage problems.

For me, I was ready to die for her the moment I proposed. And when I said my vows, "for better and worse, in sickness and health, 'til death do us part", I meant it literally. Doesn't everyone? Apparently she didn't. And now, in the last two weeks, I've had to learn things I never thought I'd have to google. Things like alimony, child custody, and that all she needs to file is "irreconcilable differences".

TLDR:

I know that the word "betrayal" has a specific meaning in the context of divorce. But how else can I describe this feeling? How would you describe it, and how would/did you move forward? Has anyone here also experienced a cultural difference (if mixed race marriage)?