I feel like I threw away a chance with a great girl because of Red Pill

poddy_fries · 2024-02-14T01:37:46+00:00

Unfortunately, nobody can tell you if you blew your chance, or if you had no fair chance to begin with. But you're clearly not happy with yourself and how you handled the evening, and I think your insights are good ones.

As of right now, she hasn't had a chance to talk to the real you - she's talked to the guy you thought you should be. A guy who answered few questions honestly, 'didn't take her seriously', negged her, and mentally escalated her being a busy, active person who actively tried to spend time with you into a mark of disrespect for you that you had to retaliate against.

It's not impossible for you to revisit this, but if I were you I'd focus on learning from the experience unless she initiates and wants to meet again.

RunSelect1753 · 2024-02-14T03:13:25+00:00

Yeah man you definitely deserve that and created that yourself. You told her she's boring for not going out and all that? Nah bruh. I know for a fact most dudes like that about woman but anyways the content gotta go. All your YouTube subscribers all your tik toks the only way you get out is cold turkey you literally have to change your way of thinking because she probably should have sensed the fake aura from you from the start but I promise you, it'll happen to every girl you try to meet until you start let all that red pill shit go and most importantly learn yourself and get used to being by yourself first. Take the time to learn who you are for and maybe try new things, sometimes in that process you meet the girl that could be a match for you but do it for yourself anyways get your fashion game going, mental health diagnosis from a professional, work on your body in the gym, try to get better at conversations, get a pet lol that's a random one but get a dog man get used to caring for something else other than yourself first because alot of red pill guys is alone and probably lost that ability to have empathy and all that so get a dog and treat it well, care for it, and trust me idk why but it's like an aura and woman love it do all that and you'll be solid but that red pill stuff it all has to go in the trash or you are fucked

Top_Radio_9436 · 2024-02-14T12:42:30+00:00

I kinda feel like you might have blown your chance with this shit:

I'm behaving and talking like a playboy, so when she asked me how many girls I've been with, i've given a false number higher than the truth, i said close to 10 but the truth is 1. She seems put off. Then i go on and say I've dated two women at once. Red flag! I didn't take her seriously, i thought she wanted something casual so I played the fake role of the player.

It's really just common sense that you don't want to say shit like this to anyone. You sounded like someone who doesn't value or respect women. Even for casual, is this what a woman would want? Even when guys do this for intra-sex status it is not a good look. As another man I would probably come away with a poor impression of you especially since you are 28 (my age) and this is high school behavior that insecure teenage boys do.

Players typically come with repugnant personality traits many women in our peers have learned to look out for. I'll bet the real you is a more appealing person than this macho idiot you were playing, which isn't saying much.

xvszero · 2024-02-14T01:22:25+00:00

Wait, how much happened back when you first met her and she was in a relationship?

mushroomboie · 2024-02-14T17:05:37+00:00

Maybe some of these redpill badboy tactics actually work, and they likely do, depending on the person ofc. But if you straight up called someone “boring”… it’s no surprise if she wants to get back with her ex…

Maybe you should just learn to read the room and the other person lol. If they feel uncomfortable, divert the convo or change your approach

ooa3603 · 2024-02-14T02:12:40+00:00

What if i was just myself?

Do be the best version of yourself. By that, I mean keep the best parts of your personality and continuously work on fixing or at least taking on habits that mitigate the worst of your personality. Don't worry about fixing them quickly, just be continously trying to get ahead of them. Continuously work on your physical body, that is make exercise (that you like) a life long hobby. A lot of society likes to downplay the importance of appearance but that's well intentioned but false misconception that many like to convince themselves and others.

Feels like maybe I've messed up a chance with a great girl with qualities I'm looking for.

You didn't, she was still hung up on her ex.

I lacked confidence and went all red pill on her and it backfired that night. I feel so alone romantically and we clicked so well, it hurts not showing her my real side where I have my self-respect but show that fun and caring personality. I'm so frustrated at this.

That's ok. Even now, as guy who doesn't have problem getting dates, I still get bouts of low uncertainty. It'd be narcissistic if you never did. The best way to gain confidence is to try things that push you outside your comfort zone. Confidence is born from experiencing both failure and success. What's something you've always tried to learn or do. Go for it. You might fail, you might not. But confidence comes from a series of failed and successful attempts and internalizing you'll be just fine whether you succeed or fail. That carries over into everything, including talking to potential dates.

What can i do here?

Forget about her and move on. If you're looking to increase your dating odds, here's my advice: focus on expanding your network through unisex activities and hobbies, it's through the people you meet in these networks that you find dates. But you have to be going regularly and participating. People desire people who are happy enjoying their life and look good doing it.

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2024-02-14T07:57:09+00:00

Yeah why would someone want to spend more time with someone who insulted them?, also saying you've slept with ten people really isn't that big of a number.

2024-02-14T16:19:52+00:00

You would have broken up or separated anyways, because that isn't "you", unless you opened up vulnerably and said that it wasn't "me" and she understood and forgave you. If you kept up with that false self, you would have broken up because you wouldn't be able to keep up with that image in the long term.

There are some men who are naturally players, and that's attractive to some women (I liked one, but nothing came out of it because I didn't feel comfortable and my father has treated me with lots of love and respect).

There are some men who are absolute romantics (and virgins), and that's attractive to other women aswell (I'm married to a sappy, dopey, romantic who played no games on me, and he has always treated women in general (even those that romantically rejected him), and his past lovers with kindness, love and respect).

If you are "you", she would either accept you or reject you, and that's life, just like a job interview. She has characteristics she's looking for, and you are too. Most importantly, it's whether you continue to love and accept yourself after her rejection, and know that there is someone more suitable for you. :)

wwereddit123 · 2024-02-18T08:27:24+00:00

Man a lot to unpack here… let’s get one thing perfectly clear: You treated her poorly and not because of the red pill. You’re either watching too much Fresh and Fit or something else.

If she tells you that she’s single then you got to play nice and make a move.

But where you failed was by keeping in touch with her. As soon as she said she’s in a relationship you should’ve moved on. She’s only going to be hesitant in pursuing something with someone else out the gate. Women are a conundrum and by 28 you should know their game. It was never going to end well for you because of that. Because you were still talking to her.

The red pill teaches you how to avoid situations like this. Not call her boring… lol

Again, when a girl tells you she’s in a relationship… move on to another girl. Talk to 5 girls all at once if you have to… have options.

Beginning-Yak-5387 · 2024-03-12T11:36:38+00:00

Speaking as a girl, you treated her exactly like you oulined: as a redpill playboy and garbage PUA (no offence). Hardly marriage material as a man. What you need to understand is the redpill is for men who want casual sex not meaningful lifelong companionship. You sound like you were cocky, arrogant, rude and generally unpleasant. Stop listening to this garbage. Don’t you realise it’s men in sexual competition with other men giving you bad advice to deliberately improve their own chances?

ThoughtProvoker8487 · 2024-05-10T18:44:15+00:00

Not to be mean, but realistic, and I can't speak for everyone because AWALT (all women are aike) is lhe biggest lie ever perpetuated by TRP community. If she's familar with this bunch and knows what it entails, she's out if she's smart.

The bigger take away here is your last paragraph. Why would anyone want to portray someone they aren't? All because, for lack of a better word, a "cult" then to think and act that way? I felt what you went through as you laid out the night's experience, you're showing signs of guilt for what you did. You also found out this portrayal of you in this light certainly was not comfortable for you. Sounds to me like it ended in you feeling embarassment. If you were able to identify that this is not your tribe, I am here with a standing ovation!!! Other than become the best version of yourself, exercise, eat right, etc (which is common sense, we all know this)TRP is nothing but a lie my man.

I am in a situation where I didn't know my SO (significant other) was down the rabbit hole so deep that he's now drowning in it. Imagine watching your SO become a raging woman hater. The best way to explain it is like being a female on a daily podcast of F&F or @ whatever. The resentment, distain, bitterness and hate is palpable. Although this man has so many wonderful qualities and I would go to the ends of the Earth for him - I can't remain in a relationship where everyday I am told that what I do, how I do it and what I think are constantly wrong. I am like a child, basically stupid in his eyes. He actually said that to me today, wbich is how I got here.

There's a mate for everyone, it's not make-a-wish and the percentages and statistics are just that. If you want to manage your life based on statistics, good luck. It takes time, investment and asking those hard question during the inital dating process to see if you're compatible to keep moving forward. Many eggs need to be broken before you can make your omlette. I hope you abandon a "cult" where woman are bad and their feelings don't matter. Reminds me of Hitler and the Jews, a group who decided and other group waz subhuman and should be treated as such.

I hope you find what you seek, keep a good heart, that's all that really matters.

2024-09-21T07:11:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

VegetableEast6536 · 2024-10-05T09:17:31+00:00

Just don’t see how this was even red pill behaviour in the first place

Self improvement, spirituality, understanding women’s behaviour in a confusing world and stoicsm

The game element of the red pill doesn’t need to be played with dread and shitty behaviour, you can just keep things nice with what you give your attention too

Admittedly there’s a lot of people describing what you’re describing and giving the ideology a bad name

You can be the prize and be a man by acting like a father, all this punishing good behaviour shit is just weird

The only thing you should be worrying about are comfort tests but again, choose what you reward with your attention

You don’t have to believe in all of something to take good things from it

starbraid · 2025-02-03T16:17:32+00:00

I want to say, firstly, that at least you recognize your behavior and that is all deserving of kudos. Good job. But I’m not going to lie- reading this was a bit embarrassing. Now, how you treated her was not okay and shameful. Maybe she needed support and that would have been your way of getting close to her. Getting to know her better. Instead you disrespected her and probably pushed her back into her exes arms. If that was a dip into wondering if she could find better, you definitely left a negative impact. I honestly don’t know how she stayed the whole time with you treating her like trash. How can anyone expect to gain trust when they give another person every reason to not trust them? It makes zero sense.

I hope you have learned and healed.

Loving yourself (truly) and finding confidence in yourself is essential. It cannot be based on external validation. That gets us no where. Therapy, reading books, educating ourselves, learning ourselves, and allowing vulnerability will change our lives.

Potential_Finger_181 · 2025-06-07T01:14:43+00:00

Any updates on this?

ooa3603 · 2024-02-14T01:41:01+00:00

it's not the red pill's fault you're socially inept with zero game

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gini_luxe · 2024-02-22T17:15:50+00:00

u/BurbNBougie. Don't know if I tagged you in this one, but there's a couple of interesting posts in this sub.

wwereddit123 · 2024-02-23T19:58:30+00:00

leave this woman alone

amzy_apparently · 2024-02-28T20:48:18+00:00

In my opinion you should do two things:

Apologise to her with a real, full length explanation, everything you have just told us here. But DO NOT expect to get anything from her out of it. It is difficult to trust someone when you know they have lied and she is not throwing away something you already had by not giving you another chance. But I know if I was in her shoes I would find it reassuring that you recognised there was a problem to be fixed.
Going forwards, with any future dates etc, literally just be yourself! You wouldn’t want a woman who put on a fake persona would you? Woman and men are not as different as many like to think. Nobody wants to have to put on an act for an entire relationship plus your date will know what she’s getting herself into if she pursues things with you. Hopefully she will be just as genuine with you.

Title	I feel like I threw away a chance with a great girl because of Red Pill
Author	wwereddit123
Upvotes	59
Comments	87
Date	February 14, 2024 1:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1aqabdc/i_feel_like_i_threw_away_a_chance_with_a_great/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-feel-like-i-threw-away-a-chance-with-a-great.1245350 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245350

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