How to make it up to my boyfriend after an argument?

FishandThings · 2024-02-22T13:42:07+00:00

It would depend on the content of the argument.

Show with your actions that not only you will not disrespect him in the same way again, but that you actively love and respect him.

Do not make him feel weak for being hurt or disrespected by the argument. Praise him for being strong and dealing with your poor actions so well. Make it clear you maintain confidence in him and you trust him as your leader.

If he tends to hold on to things, that is an issue you should get sorted out, as if he gets worse at that it can lead to serious problems in relationships. Humans are not perfect, he hurt each other accidentally or intentionally all the time, especially in relationships. Being able to apologise, forgive, grow and move on is a very important skill to learn in order to maintain a good long term relationship and marriage.

countrylemon · 2024-02-22T14:17:09+00:00

Really depends on the arguement, what it’s about, what started it and how it ended.

Generically, I just improve the world around him while I stay quiet. I run my mouth, that’s what I do, bad trait, but good when I’m happy. So STFU is great for me.

I will refresh his water, clean the room around him, make myself productive. Me shutting up and working to improve our lives shows him immediate corrective action. I simply shut up and occupy myself. That being said he doesn’t hold onto his anger very long, an hour or two at most.

The fight is “over” when one person makes a meaningless comment and the other replies calmly. (ex. I’ll say “oh I got my refund from paypal” something we both wanted to know and he replied “that’s really good, was quick” if he answered “ok” something stiff, I give him more time. (visa versa too) Then we hug eachother.

While we are in the quiet period, that’s what you can think of your “final conclusion” a single sentance that gets your final point across. We can calmly share that conclusion with eachother when we’re hugging. Usually that conclusion leaves us feeling heard and allows the other to have a useful idea of what happened and then we’re not stewing on what was said during the fight.

That’s how we resolve our fights, fights for us only occur from two things: someone is at their peak level of stress and lashed out at the other, or we aren’t communicating, misunderstanding and getting mad at each-other for not understanding what the other is saying.

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-02-22T14:53:20+00:00

My husband and I are the reverse. He's so stoic that he can easily move past anything. We don't fight a lot, but when we do, I need time. I don't want to hear his apology just to make him feel better. I need some space. Once I'm ready, it's a lot easier to process and move past it.

In your case, I'd suggest giving your boyfriend a few days. It's easy to tell yourself that you're trying to make it up to him, when it's more accurate to say that you're unhappy that he's unhappy and want to fix it, because you'll feel better.

RedPillDad · 2024-02-22T23:06:33+00:00

Disrespect tends to be the low blow that breaks trust. In the heat of an argument, something was deliberately said to wound him? Something that wouldn't mean that much coming from someone else, but coming from the person he's grown to trust more than anyone else, it can feel devastating.

What flashes through his mind is that all her friendly, loving demeanor is a lie and this nasty snake is who she really is, or at least is capable of being.

When things cool off, he retains his wariness. His trust is not as open and unconditional the way it once was.

A feisty woman doesn't mind letting her man know, "This B has claws and is willing to use them." A guy with self respect and options isn't going to tolerate that. He won't tell her how to behave, he'll just press 'next' on her.

sapphiredawn · 2024-02-22T15:36:56+00:00

I would add that it seems like he needs time to work through these issues before he’s ready to reconnect. The first thing I’d do is allow him that time. Respect his need for time and space and boundaries and as our other amazing women here have said - maybe work to improve the space around him? Note and accept that your need for forgiveness and reconnection should be prioritized after his need to calm down and move past the argument.

LateralThinker13 · 2024-02-22T22:17:33+00:00

Fix why you disrespected him.

My toddler learned early on to tearfully apologize, but it meant nothing; only by understanding WHY she had messed up, could she begin to take responsibility for it.

In other words, you have to show him that you understand how you screwed up (disrespected him), AND how you will try to avoid the same mistake in future, or an apology by itself means nothing.

AppropriateEbb5556 · 2024-02-22T17:47:16+00:00

Asking for forgiveness is all you can and should do. Asking for forgiveness includes:

highlighting what you did wrong and making sure your partner sees that you understand the situation from their perspective
not blaming your behaviour on something outside of you
asking them to forgive.

The things you would consider "making it up to him" should be things you do without being guilt-tripped. Love, affection, gifts, compliments, quality time and so on.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-02-22T18:00:27+00:00

There's a reason the term "make-up sex" exists....

SpecialistParticular · 2024-02-23T00:05:22+00:00

Cash.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-22T12:26:51+00:00

Title: How to make it up to my boyfriend after an argument?

Author Twilight_Rose99

Full text: How can I make it up to my boyfriend after an argument? How can I recover my connection with him after being disrespectful to him?

Married or LTR ladies, how do you make it up to your spouse? And gentlemen, what does your spouse do that makes you feel better/reconnected after an argument?

I always apologize and very often own up when I’ve done something wrong, but he holds onto things longer than I do. I forgive and move on very quickly but he processes things a bit differently and it takes a few days for the emotions to settle for him. I always try to take action to remedy the situation, and he’s not big on intimacy during these times (tho I happily blow him whenever the opportunity comes). How can I make him feel respected again and diminish the residual bad feelings he may have? I love Him, and I hate making him feel upset, or disrespected, or unloved. I just want to make things better.

Thank you for any advice☺️

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TheBunk_TB · 2024-02-22T15:16:51+00:00

Anything you don’t do a lot of that would show him that you are regretting it?

Title	How to make it up to my boyfriend after an argument?
Author	Twilight_Rose99
Upvotes	21
Comments	26
Date	February 22, 2024 12:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ax57wd/how_to_make_it_up_to_my_boyfriend_after_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-make-it-up-to-my-boyfriend-after-an.1246106 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246106

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