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CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-08-03T20:55:02+00:00

I mean, you need to be willing to mess with them, provoke them, roast them, make fun of them playfully…

You need to come to terms to the idea that they are not evaluating you, to see if you are good enough for them, but instead you are the one who has to evaluate them to see if they are good enough for you.

This often means you have to disregard their looks, act like their looks are overrated, and focus on their personality and values to see if they are good enough in those terms.

You need also to stop giving a fuck if you lose women who were liking you at first. You need to be willing to say the wrong thing, not on purpose but basically not care if you say something wrong or not.

In other words, to stop walking on eggshells and instead be willing to just run above all those eggshells and be ok if you end up smashing some of them by accident.

You need to be willing to let women go, even if they like you initially, rather than clinging on to them just because they gave you some attention for once.

You need to stop trying to be good enough, stop trying to impress them, stop trying to get their approval, stop trying to make them think positively of you and be willing to be the opposite of the type of guy they are looking for.

2022-08-03T20:00:22+00:00

I think every guy has at one point or another put a woman on a pedestal. How do you not do that ? You date women below your standards and you gain confidence and introspection.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-08-04T12:59:01+00:00

Just realized that. There are billions of girls all over the world but let's just say you wanna younger, more fit, single girls, you still have millions so its impossible to run out of girls and options, but there's only one you, the one unique personality and life experiences you had, the one value you bring to the table so treat yourself as that prize that girls have to earn. Speak from experience if you shift that in your mind, you shift everything

wannabe-WAussie · 2022-08-04T08:21:28+00:00

use an abundance mentality. Not of the desperate standardless kind, rather of you like for instance sporty women, or geeky women, just think if this girl didn't like me, there will be another who might. if it doesn't work with one girl I just repeat myself "next one please".

WimpyMeecenary25 · 2022-08-04T16:56:39+00:00

Confidence and realizing that they really only offer 🐱 and every girl has that. They aren't meant to be chase but to chase you are the prize. So let them come to you.

whitepillman · 2022-08-05T04:46:44+00:00

Everyone poops. Women have their flaws too and you need to see that. Ask yourself WHY you feel this way? It's usually because you feel inferior yourself. Target that. You should feel you are good enough for anyone. Recognize that women are insecure too. They put on makeup to look better. They need to put in the work to stay in shape, etc. Also, you need to get out more and talk to more strangers, not just your friends. Meeting strangers is scarier, which is why meeting women is scarier. Talk to everyone and then learn the seduction skills specifically to attract the women - teasing, flirting, etc.

Superb-End6273 · 2022-08-06T02:18:39+00:00

Get some game and you'll understand that woman aren't on the pedestal when it comes to a man with game, they will literally throw the pedestal away when you have game, and if they don't you can show them how easily you'll go. A man with game is the opportunity and the experience for her.

Iistendipshit · 2022-08-03T19:15:03+00:00

You said you’ve never had a GF. Well at 31, you’ve pretty much spent half of your life without women and might as well accept that you don’t need them, as you’re still well and alive. Just start viewing them as you should; just another human being. Don’t have any intentions with any of them, other than connecting on a normal human level. Relationships aren’t something HUGE, they are just super close friendships, which I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of. When you’ve come across a girl you happen to like, but because of her views on life, her hobbies, and overall personality just ask her out and make sure to kiss her on the first date. It’s that simple.

we11g00d · 2022-08-04T13:27:25+00:00

Just start dating and be ok with being a little weird at first. At some point when a lot of them treat you like sh*t you will start to look at them in a different light i guess... At some point you will be blunt enought to not put them on a pedestal. Sad but true

2022-08-04T17:44:33+00:00

All the things you mentioned about yourself (job, travel, etc) are on top, though sometimes you have to go below the surface to find out what’s causing this fear.

I recommend finding a therapist, or at the very least reviewing your entire history with women from birth to present: start with your mom, then sisters, then first crushes, etc. You may find some trauma there that you forgot about.

Once you understand your history and why you’re afraid of women, it’s easier to modify your behavior — but you still have to modify your behavior! That is, do things that put you out of your comfort zone. How would you act if you weren’t afraid? If something is making you feel socially anxious, lean into that something as much as possible. It’s called exposure therapy and everyone human engages in it to some degree. You need to unlearn your trauma by creating new experiences.

StrengthThrowaway235 · 2022-08-04T18:15:20+00:00

Based on your other comments, you seem to be living in a different society, perhaps where dating is not the norm(I assume most people get arranged marriage), so dont see it as a bad thing that you havent had a relationship yet. Most of the advice on here is geared towards people living in the West. As my parents are also from a different society, I can tell you that you that things are drastically different. You have to be courageous and risk failure, you need to escalate with the girls that you meet, focus on that rather than focussing on your mindset. Also one thing that helps me is to visualize just the skeleton inside the girl, any girl no matter how hot, in the end is just a skeleton and that doesnt look attractive.

2022-08-07T06:28:33+00:00

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JakeDaAussie · 2022-08-04T05:59:03+00:00

Bro your the prize man. You are literally in the prime age with all your shit together they should be putting you on the pedestal and want to get your attention and want you to chose them

ilovefootball49 · 2022-08-04T07:59:04+00:00

Move to an Island with only hairy, fat chicks. Then you won't be intimidated by them anymore

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-08-03T20:24:24+00:00

It starts by examining what advantages you get from putting women on a pedestal. You might be surprised that this belief actually says great things about you. For example:

-it means you are a true gentleman, a modern day knight who recognizes that women are more vulnerable and need to be treated specially

-it shows that you have high morals and ethics

-it shows that you are a caring and compassionate person who is willing to put themselves on the back burner so someone else can have an easier time

it shows that you treat women specially and they should enjoy being in your company
it shows you are caring and empathetic guy

So ask yourself if you really want to stop putting women on a pedestal when there are so many wonderful things about doing so?

Bright-Glass3175 · 2022-08-04T06:21:50+00:00

have options, simple

2022-08-04T08:27:00+00:00

I think this is the result of common upbringing, where woman is usually portrayed as spotless angel that should be respected at all costs.

I believe you should firstly realise that women are different than men, it's not only about body. They are very attracted to male features, that you obviously have. Keeping that in mind, you should view yourself as a high-value and worthy to them. Then you shall be at common ground, working with your dynamics and connection.

Specialist_Talk_7786 · 2022-08-04T22:13:41+00:00

You date them, that's how. So many guys think hot women fart glitter and shit gold but if you ever actually go out and date them, you learn that her looks give you no indication to any other aspect about her.

She can be hot as they come but absolutely dreadful to be around.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	28
Comments	36
Date	August 3, 2022 7:04 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wff14q/how_to_stop_putting_women_on_a_pedestal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1252901 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252901

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