So my last post spoke of respect and character being fundamental to being a genuinely high value person in the dating game, so what’s next?

You’re respectful, you’re nice, but the women aren’t swarming you? But you’re so nice!

Nice. Think about that word for a second. How many nice people do you know? Probably a lot right? They act with kindness and generosity and don’t push your buttons. They’re pleasant to interact with. And again, there’s a lot of them.

I’d say the vast majority of people have “nice” traits or been nice to someone before. It is not a benchmark for sexual or emotional compatibility. It is an expected human behaviour, to be nice. Notice how we only get appalled when people are rude? Nice is the default setting.

So if you’re focused on being just “nice”, and don’t have hobbies or some value or skill to back it up - you’re basically the equivalent to a cardboard cut-out of a person. Everyone’s nice.

Be more than that. Be exciting! Take risks, that thing you’ve been wanting to do but were hesitant? Sometimes you just gotta take the leap.

I’m an average looking guy, I’m actually brown-skinned, in an area where I’m a minority. I’ve been awkward in the past, and talking to women in an intimate way was a struggle.

Attending university, there was a lecture hall with hundreds of students, and the professor picked up a microphone and walked around the hall asking people about their “mission” and “vision” for the future.

There was this girl sitting next to me, who prior didn’t know me. I wasn’t thinking about that, but I did want to talk into the microphone, I thought it’d be cool. So I did, took the leap, said some stuff - and yeah its a funny additive to every story but people really did clap. The entire hall. And that’s not a brag, what I said was not difficult, it was just a dream for the future.

When I gave the mic back, I looked to the girl next to me, and she had “that look”. Every guy who’s seen the look girls have when they’re into you - you know what I mean. We went on a few dates, and you can guess the rest.

What this story is meant to communicate is that if you can express your value, show you have something beyond being nice, something to contribute, then you’re instantly 100% more attractive, regardless of what you look like.

Value, value, value. Would you rather a piece of plain bread, or the bread that’s more of a sandwich? Spice yourself up, you don’t need to be a good public speaker or a chef or a pro sportsman, but you need to develop your presence, and become something that people don’t only find “pleasant”, but someone that people can “admire”.

Nice guys either act nice to get women or are content with just being nice and bring nothing else. If your personality is being nice, congrats you’re like most people. What’s your X factor? What makes you stand out? Everyone has something, you just gotta express it.

TL;DR Everyone is nice, you’re not special for being extra nice, it’s expected. Be more than the sum of your parts.