Being a great dancer doesn't help at all

Liberaler · 2022-03-17T12:11:33+00:00

You used the wrong title for your post. It should be like "How can I find my sticking point?" Your reasoning is flawed: I can dance - I'm not successful - therefore dancing skills are useless. It's like saying my car has a strong motor - but the car is not working - therefor strong motors are useless. Maybe your tank is empty, or your battery has no energy etc The correct conclusion is: Being a great dancer is not enough if you lack in other areas. You have to find out what these areas are.

wild guesses:

Not being assertive enough
coming of as insecure when talking
Loosing your vibe after a few rejections
wrong audience in the club
energy not high enough when talking to people
you underestimated how insecure many girls are when it comes to dancing
personality you imply with your dance not congruent with your other behaviour - confusion

SnooPets1514 · 2022-03-17T12:51:43+00:00

Yo, this has resonated big-time and it's something I've also observed in my own life in recent times.

I learnt to shuffle a long while back and I bust that out when I go to the club and it has about an 80-90% hit-rate, I would say, in terms of piquing a girl's interest. I've had phones whipped out before filming my feet, I've had finger-points and loads of 'oiiiiii' or 'wowwwww!' and loads of eye contact and smiles.

However, not unlike what u/Liberaler has said... that's just one part of it. In recent times, although this has opened the door for me I have had no idea what to say afterwards or my chat game has been fairly weak and let me down and before you know it these girls that were orbiting just move somewhere else in the club. Or I'll weakly go over and say/do something that hasn't been too confident and the attraction just dips.

I think the key is to be cocky/confident and just be having a legitimate good time and not relying on the dance too much.

Dancing has gotten me laid in the past, and it's a great tool to have in your arsenal but you've got to back it up with the chat. As they say 'walk the walk' don't 'talk the talk' and that's exactly what just dancing with no other elements of game is.

I've had girls, in the last few months, call me 'the dancer guy' whilst having kissed a pal of mine at the end of the night. And I've had nights where I've not danced at all and I've done the kissing (because of better chat). It is what it is. You've got to make sure you're pulling the trigger and that your dance isn't the only thing you've got about you.

Just my own personal experiences/two cents with it.

mightymite88 · 2022-03-17T12:35:24+00:00

ive had the exact opposite experience. being a good dancer has led to women approaching me just because most dudes around here cant dance

bonus; dance lessons are a great place to pickup and a great place to take a date too

ajayt365 · 2022-03-17T13:57:56+00:00

You are the first guy that is acting desperate while dancing. Did you just go and shake you ass in club to make women notice you?

Important-Quote9544 · 2022-03-17T16:49:30+00:00

Imma get real with you.

5’5 is rly short, you will have a harder time than the taller man that’s facts.

Also, dancing isn’t going making you a top tier guy. I know guys that don’t even dance and they pick up girls at the club.

You need to stop comparing yourself, also manage your expectations.

It seems like you are considering of all the chubby girls you are going for

Silver-Variation8903 · 2022-03-17T12:30:33+00:00

Do you think women are out there looking for dancers or something?

Look, you shouldn’t be going up to girls calling them cute either. Don’t go around giving compliments to every person with a pair of tits. Women can sense your neediness from a mile away.

Focus on conversation, don’t bother complimenting a woman’s looks, they don’t even like that shit.

Watch videos on Todd v dating or James Tusk or something and get a feel for game.

zertsetzung · 2022-03-17T13:05:50+00:00

"Also I'm hitting the gym. Trying to bulk. But that also not working."

https://www.girlschase.com/content/truth-about-big-muscles-and-getting-laid

I really cant prove or disprove that article. I've always focused more on the running and cardio part than the muscle head side of things. Mainly because I've never needed to actually buff up. I've always been kinda stalky.

bestmenrmenatbest · 2022-03-17T13:08:05+00:00

A club is not So You Think You Can Dance lmaaao. If you like dancing just dance. I think for you it looks like you are trying too hard and you appear corny to the women. Remember women like a challenge, you falling to their feet and worse going around asking every woman to dance is just a disaster and the opposite of what you should be doing. Dance because you like to and never do anything to impress women. And never ever approach a group of women for anything because even if she wants to, she would say no because the group says no.

If I was you, I would just go in and dance but not like I’m chris brown but just here and there to show my shit. And you dance with a woman only if she approaches you first, dance for a while then say something like “i like how you move” and “what’s your name” then if you feel she really liking you tell her about this other event going on somewhere and if she’d like to come. Then get her number. Keep dancing or drinking and don’t keep chasing

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-17T16:14:17+00:00

So i read your post again, here is the problem:

“You girls are alone? Do you mind joining us?”

The problem here is you are not offering value, you are seeking to take it.

The girls feel you got nothing to offer as soon as you approach them, and as such they don’t want your boring energy or vibe to infect their group.

So, how can you offer something of value right away when you still haven’t met each other or even exchange names?

Well, you could make a humorous remark to try to make them laugh first, eg:

You: ”Hey girls, I wanna go to las vegas tonight and get married with her (pointing at the girl you like)!” Will you please be our maids of honour?”

This said with a high energetic loud voice usually gets a laugh from them because of how absurd and ridiculous the proposition is, they know you are playing right of the bat and thus will be more welcoming, many will even play along with your game and say:

She: ”Oh yeah sure, but is it gonna be a catholic wedding, cuz she is very conservative you know?”

Some girls however might be more difficult and tel you something like:

She: “Does that pick up line work for you?

To which you can reply:

You: “Girl If you keep exposing me like that, i’m gonna have to divorce you! And you bet your ass i will keep the dog”

She: “Nooo, the dog’s ours, you don’t get to keep it”

This is how you game girls, this is how you give value.

Not by telling them they are cute, or asking them if you can join just because they are alone.

Give value, don’t seek it.

SpecialPowerss · 2022-03-17T17:52:09+00:00

Don't rely on your "dance skills" to pull girls. It's good to have a talent, but you have to know when it's appropriate to use it.

You looking like a jabbowockee in the club is way too try hard especially when the situation is not even that serious.

Work on your vibe, approaches, and interactions.

Title	Being a great dancer doesn't help at all
Author	ajayt365
Upvotes	5
Comments	50
Date	March 17, 2022 11:19 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tg7vyx/being_a_great_dancer_doesnt_help_at_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-a-great-dancer-doesnt-help-at-all.1264377 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264377

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