Feeling high value but not seeing the results

norwegiandoggo · 2022-02-04T06:53:47+00:00

Sounds like you're running "date" software in a "party" environment. These types of parties are typically for hooking up / fun / casual. When you act more like you're on a coffee date to check for compatibility, people will assume you have bad social skills because you are acting in a way that doesn't fit the context. You're being a bit more serious when other people are just trying to have fun and not overthink things

japameri · 2022-02-04T06:45:02+00:00

You are looking in the wrong place.

Do you just want to hook up or do you want to find an emotional connection? You can find hookups at parties and bars. Typically they are not looking for life long partners.

Calamity__Bane · 2022-02-04T08:04:03+00:00

You need to escalate faster. Qualification isn't about things like her job, it's about her behavior and whether she says or does cool things in the moment. If you're getting AMOGed that easily, it's because you aren't progressing along with the set and are basically just a random dude to them. Why wouldn't the girls pick the fun, exciting guy over the guy who doesn't stir any emotions?

I find that my inability to be fun and in the moment is hurting my social standing.

Yes, that is exactly what is happening.

I do notice that women perceive me differently and it’s almost like I’ve cast this invisible force field around me that says “don’t go for this guy”.

Very likely.

Any tips to handle this cognitive dissonance.

I would say... don't be afraid to relax and let your hair down. You've said it yourself, you have tons of assets and you think the girls around you are hot. So, why not directly pursue what you want and know you are worth, instead of trying to seem like you are worth it? Doesn't your behavior imply that you don't think your value is obvious?

labyrinthlilith · 2022-02-04T06:20:10+00:00

Sounds like you’ve got a hoppin social life. Could your female friends introduce you to girls they know that might be compatible? Or your guy friends girlfriends could bring a friend along and y’all double date!

Sounds like you need to connect with a girl mentally before you know if you’re into her.

dasanman69 · 2022-02-04T14:56:10+00:00

If you're just looking for a fun time then who cares if they are high value or not. Grab the girl and then find out if she's high value or not. Fisherman cast a net and one they've caught a multitude of fish will they then toss out the not good ones. Be a fisher of pussy my friend.

Upset-Temperature · 2022-02-04T20:49:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ZidaneLoire · 2022-02-04T22:18:24+00:00

I don't think you're looking in the wrong place. I've certainly had my fair share of relationships that started with meeting a girl at a party. I can sympathize with your wishes.

However you have to understand your demographics. If you're going to a 20 year olds party, then you'll find girls more likely to just fuck you and never see you again. If you're going to a late 20s, yearly 30s party, the amount of girls wanting a relationship will be higher (just like you being 25 you're entering that stage).

But beyond your question, you should not take it personally. Just live and let live. Enjoy your party and if some girl went to that party to find a guy who would swoop her off her feet and you didn't have that to offer, don't hold it against yourself or her. She didn't have what you wanted. She wanted a guy right then and there to make out with and forget and never talk to again. Let her go, find the girl who wants the same as you. Or just don't be so eager for a relationship and let the chips fall where they may. Like my dad used to say, while you wait for the right girl to come, fuck the wrong one beside you. Either way, you can't voodoo someone to do something they didn't wanna do.

eaglekaratechop · 2022-02-04T23:30:51+00:00

Bro, the fact that you’re trying to get girls is why you’re not getting girls.

Stop focusing on women and instead just genuinely have fun. Talk to EVERYONE, not just people you find attractive.

When you are having fun, you become fun and women tend to gravitate towards that.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2022-02-04T21:38:01+00:00

Yeah, you def are high value boring guy.

Bruh. Never have pillow talk be4 sex.

Jdaddyk07 · 2022-02-04T23:45:56+00:00

Well then you aren’t high value. Lol

marcifyed · 2022-02-05T03:06:03+00:00

Getting the girl to qualify herself isn’t what makes men irresistible to women. It’s confidence.

Powdered_Toast_Man3 · 2022-02-05T05:56:19+00:00

You know what dude, I think you should be proud of yourself first and foremost, for actually going out there in the trenches and giving it a swing. Sure, you're falling flat for now but really, just change up your approach and game a little bit every week or so. Stop doing things that aren't working and experiment. The fact that you are going to these parties and actually talking to women is really huge. You just keep at it and make alterations to your approach, vibe, and other things you suspect may not be working. The most important thing is just to keep with it. These women aren't really rejecting you as a person, they don't know who you are in a matter of 5 seconds of dealing with you. They're really just rejecting your approach. Keep changing your approaches until you find something that works for you. Also, pay attention to the guys that are getting some. What is it you think they're doing differently than you? You don't have to necessarily copy them, but paying attention would benefit you.

hiamandag · 2022-02-05T13:39:01+00:00

Maybe flirt a little and have fun! Relax and just have fun. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Women love having fun, and laughing. Do the charming part first (be open) and then as you’re charming, start asking the more important questions. If it’s not a good fit and you’re just talking casually, you can drift away easily. Then go have a nice convo with the next person. ♥️

harged6 · 2022-02-04T09:31:57+00:00

If you are 190lb and 5'10" then you are overweight. That is probably what is leading to the lack of attraction

Greatsage2021 · 2022-02-04T12:14:35+00:00

As a clinician you sound autistic. It sounds like you are approaching social situations using text book analytical approaches, preconceived ideals and tactical thinking. If you are a gifted musician and have a history of missing social cues I'd start treating about autism and gifted people. Do some online tests. Run the question past people you know. Get a professional diagnosis if it fits. Chances are you are missing social cues, coming across as interrogating rather than fun. You can learn around it thankfully. But you still need to fake it until you make it. Or if you are autistic you make it your conversation piece.

Sup3rHD · 2022-02-04T09:06:28+00:00

High value women? What u mean by that?

Sensitive-Permit-877 · 2022-02-04T09:34:09+00:00

You are going to parties for getting to know people first and wondering how guys swoop in? These ladies arnt damsels they are there to get their backs blown out and party. Thats the issue. If you dont like hookups and such parties are not the place for you man

not-allow-ed · 2022-02-04T10:05:31+00:00

well if you don't find a woman, then we are all fucked.

monkey36937 · 2022-02-04T13:31:05+00:00

So you are boring, not fun to be around. You need to understand that women are ruled by emotions. Talking about that stuff said in this post at parties sounds boring, that the type of stuff you after you put your dick in her. Learn how to be fun and bring good vibes.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-02-05T06:20:48+00:00

So, you consider yourself “high value” and you’re looking for a beautiful woman that’s also “high value” but you can’t seem to figure out why they’re not interested in your interview process and lose interest quickly? Is this a serious question? Beautiful women that are desirable are not interested in your screening process. They’re not wasting their time. They’ve got options. They have far more options then you have because they’re beautiful and their vagina is in high demand. While you’re wasting time trying to figure out if they’re high value enough for you, they’ve already moved on to the next guy. When you’re initially trying to capture the interest of a 9 or 10 it’s not about what they have to offer you, it’s about what you have to offer them. Now, after you’ve gotten with one of them and you’ve gotten to know them a little, then you can figure out if this woman is worth a further investment of your time (and money) 9’s and 10’s are expensive to keep. But women are NOT interested in being qualified after you’ve just met and certainly not the most desirable ones. I think you’ve overvalued yourself in a zero sum game.

WorldRecordVirgin · 2022-02-05T15:51:11+00:00

thats because youre not high value.... none of these clowns are.

Ok-Emu7287 · 2022-02-06T08:33:22+00:00

Hi I'm new and want to talk with a girl who's bi sexual or meet one.

SlyderKmK · 2022-02-06T19:28:16+00:00

Lmao..."I'm high value, and I'm better than the women I'm talking to..."

Wow, no wonder no women want to be with you....

recyclablebanthas · 2022-03-03T00:24:02+00:00

1

Feeling high value but not seeing the results

First off, the concept of "value" is not helpful really.

What people value varies between each person. It's subjective. High value to one person can be really low value to another.
Seduction: what is it really? It's a form of social interaction. Which means the determining factor for getting successful results requires having basic social skills. Some subjective notion of what you consider value, says nothing about the skills necessary for anyone to navigate through a social interaction successfully.

2

Little intro: I’m 25, 5’10”, 190lb. Over the last 3 months, I’ve been going to parties and meeting lots of women.

Note: A lot can depend on what kind of parties you are going to. For example, if you're going to parties in LA, that's a different beast altogether. There's so much fake and plastic in those scenes. It's important to realize that the superficiality of this scene was a motivation in pick up artists like Mystery creating the convoluted early forms of game.

It was a dysfunctional reaction to all the fakery there. They were changing themselves to suit that environment, which was not necessarily the best choice.

3

While all of them are really attractive and beautiful, I usually like to get to know them in the sense of their ambitions or their value first.

It's good to have standards of some kind.

4

However, I find that when I’m in the pursuit of seeing whether these girls are high value or not....

This is perhaps one of the more important parts of your post and you have left out quite a bit of information here.

What are you actually doing in pursuit of seeing whether they are high value to you or not?

Can you detail what that process looks like? There's a limit to the help anyone here can give you without knowing those things.

5

...other guys will swoop right in and with extremely minimal effort (literally just grabs the girl off the her feet and kisses her) will get her interest and they will hook up later.

Like the other guy said. If you are acting super serious at a party, then what the other guys are doing is basically swooping in and rescuing them from a boring situation.

It's a pretty common thing to happen and usually the super serious guys have no idea what's going on and don't realize that the girls actually aren't interested and don't want to be there with them.

The important thing is that this can easily be improved from, although it would help if you actually said what you were actually doing specifically in these kinds of situations before guys swoop in. So that you can know what to do differently.

6

I am really struggling with understanding the elements of seduction. I often can’t be flirty with someone I’ve just met (mainly because it’s a waste of time if they aren’t good people)

It definitely does seem as if you're taking this way too seriously. People don't go to a party to be this serious. They go to a party to have fun. To dance. To be playful To drink and loosen up a little bit.

Your whole mindset is preventing you from having fun. And it's going to lead to situations like girls being snatched away from you because you are sucking the fun out of the immediate region around you.

If you don't enjoy the fun aspects of the party, then honestly it's probably better to find something else to do with your spare time.

7

but in some small way, I find that my inability to be fun and in the moment is hurting my social standing. I don’t think guys care about it too much, but I do notice that women perceive me differently and it’s almost like I’ve cast this invisible force field around me that says “don’t go for this guy”.

If you are dealing with parties where people tend to know each other, then yeah you can definitely gain a reputation.

But reputations can be changed as well. If you were to become someone who knows how to have fun in prioritizes loosening up at parties, then you can start becoming someone who enhances the fun of people around them rather than sucking the fun away.

But you would need to change the way you look at parties I think.

Title	Feeling high value but not seeing the results
Author	Upset-Temperature
Upvotes	20
Comments	122
Date	February 4, 2022 5:57 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sk5u3k/feeling_high_value_but_not_seeing_the_results/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feeling-high-value-but-not-seeing-the-results.1267616 https://theredarchive.com/post/1267616

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