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[–]LordCarnifex 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I'd compare that price to what a therapist would charge for the same time investment. You don't have a dating coach problem, you have a therapy problem. Your risk aversion and fear of a woman rejecting the real you is something a licensed professional would be better suited for than a fish claiming to help you catch other fish; that sounds coarse but I am very cynical of most women's ability to guide men through the dating process. It's the same flaw you see when you ask a woman to write down what she's attracted to -- you get idealized answers instead of what really gets her going, so you run the risk of learning how to appeal to your dating coach and not much else.
[–]helpMeOut9999 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Very good point. I think the 'dating coach' route may be carriage before the horse. I think I have a psychological issue.
The problem is that I've seen counsellors and they've been absolutely horrificly piss useless. They sit and listen and offer next to nothing. They seem as confused as I am.
Not sure if psycho-therapy is different or not.
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Right but you’re assuming their job is to “fix you.” There is no “you to fix.” They’re there to help you self reflect and come to your own conclusions on how to be a better person/man.
Try to have a game plan of what you want to discuss next time.
[–]helpMeOut9999 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yea, I used to think this was their job, to fix me. I got disillusioned from that long ago.
I know it's more about guiding and unpacking - but damn, SOME tools would be nice. Just shrugging their shoulders and being like "well, who the fuck knows - guess you're fucked" which is what they may as well said.
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That sucks honestly. Some therapists are not great. I recommend seeing an LCSW or LMFT rather than a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. There’s a huge distinction but basically LCSW’s and lmft’s are trained to do talk therapy. It may vary in your state but the the latter two tend to be a little too focused on medicine for psychiatrists because they mainly do medication management and I’m not aware of clinical psychologists doing much talk therapy either.
It helped me but I realize everyone is different. Been seeing therapists on and off for 6 years and I’m better man because of it.
[–]Felixisnext 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree
[–]rivetcitymayor 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’d rather you donate that money to starving kids or something bro, that is crazy
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
haha I'm glad I came here for a reality check
[–]SexCoachShannon 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Speaking as a sex coach, that is steep. I'd want to know a bit more about the app and how much communication I can have with the coach through it, how frequently they'll reply, and what specific measurable results they can guarantee.
Screenshots and a resource list would be great. Even pricier therapists usually top out at $500/session, so 3 sessions would be $1500 meaning app access is another $1700. It's gotta be worth it.
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ya I think I described it wrong. I mean 3 sessions a month for 3 months so 9 sessions.
That's a good point, I really need to clarify specifically what I'm going to get out of the app.
[–]SexCoachShannon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahh okay 9 sessions definitely makes it a somewhat better deal.
Do ask the app questions and about what kind of results she's gotten for other clients with your specific problem, though. For that price, you're allowed to ask all the questions.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]helpMeOut9999 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it's more about accountability or having someone to bounce my thoughts off of. Part of it has to do with not knowing specifically what I want. I don't know when to do things, like I have a 8 year old son, when do I bring that up? Little nuances like that.
But I'm also wondering if this is a psycho-therapy issue.
[–]-Godly 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your coach should be a male
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why is that?
[–]-Godly 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You learn how to fish from the fisherman, not the fish. You will be able to relate to the coach more and vice versa. Those are the biggest two reasons.
Gotcha, ya - I've NEVER had good dating advice from a women. The cognitive dissonance within them is mind blowing.
[–]CherryTasteLexi 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hello there. I am happy to hear that you are making steps to to get better and I hope you will get what you need from the sessions. I do believe in coaching but mostly I believe is coming from us, and myself I had struggle with lots of things in my life and the best teacher for me was myself. The healing and braking the patternes and the cycles sits in our power. This is how I learned over time. Like it all starts from you.
You need to pay attentions to what is the patter and when you see it so you don’t get caught in it , you should swipe the energy and change it, so the different of what you doing that brings you in this or that situation.
I hope this is helpful and I make sense, my English it is not the best!
[–]helpMeOut9999 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks very much for your response. I think I'm up against a wall and myself is definitely not sufficient for figuring out my problems. I need someone to untangle this because I'm basically at a place where I don't know what i want.
[–]CherryTasteLexi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are more then welcome and I totally understand but for you in order to get better and to know what you like what you want and so on you will need to be aware of yourself every second and actually check out what you do … from moves to thinking to anything really… good luck
[–]dark_helmt8 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
$3200???? Brrrrrrrrrooooooo, that's insane money for 3 meetings. Unless they are the Dating Christ incarnate come down from heaven, ready to bless you with hypnotic powers of seduction, and horse c@ck energy, Id pass. There's nothing you can learn these days from PUA and Dating coaches on youtube, patreon, and books.
[–]helpMeOut9999 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ya sorry, I should have clarified that it was 3 per month, so 9 sessions
haha sorry about that.
[–]dark_helmt8 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok, that makes more sense, my bad
[–]Powerful_College_424 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Bro you need a good therapist if you can afford it, $3200 for help on something you have proven for a fact that you can do (have a girlfriend, probably a decent looking one at that) seems kind of redundant. I would just focus on yourself, and not just get an average shit therapist, interview a few and get one that will actually care about you.
Thanks man, ya I think that's the route I'm going to go. I think it's more about the inner work I have to do and not the practicality of finding a woman.
[–]Powerful_College_424 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also bro you gotta look at the hoop before you shoot. I don’t know you obviously but I do find myself in a somewhat similar situation as you, and the best thing I could tell you is you need to know exactly what to look for before you’re gonna find it. “I want a girlfriend, a good one” Ok, well that’s kind of vague. (I tell this to all my friends) Do you want a hot blonde with a law degree, a tranny, a raging alcoholic brunette bartender, a Latina with some attitude? Mentally and physically. I would write it down, like for real. Really understand for yourself, whatever it is, that you want. Ready, aim, fire 🎯
[–]IndianRedditor88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Personal Bias. But hang on.
If you are a male, i guess you would be better off with a dating coach who is a male. I've seen some dating advice by women on YouTube and other places online and honestly some of the things they suggest could out right reject you. Open for corrections though.
Your dating coach should ideally be someone less attractive than you are, this way you can be sure that their success in dating isn't due to their good looks.
[–]wondorous 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've on and off considered a dating coach, but never did b/c they are so steep.
There's one I watch on youtube, Correy Wayne and he seems pretty good, but charges $1k for an hour's phone call. I get it, he wants to make money too and that he has clients that can pay for it. Did you see the movie Hitch a while back, where Will Smith is a dating coach? They are generally there as a service to "help" the wealthy connect. I'm sure they'd like to help the poor man, but if you can charge $1k/hr, wouldn't you?
Anyway, with therapists charging anywhere from $30-$100 for an hour, the $1k seems steep. I did connect with a guy on here once who was working to start his dating coaching service. He was asking for $1k for 10 sessions. I balked at the price back then, but it's actually not that bad comparatively. But he was just stating out and seemed to get petty pushy when I was hesitant about paying that so I declined.
In the end, I think that having a good therapist is most important to get you into a good place mentally. But dating coaches can help to hone specific things to make your mindset about dating better and teach you technique.
Yes i think 100 dollars and hour is very reasonable, but 3200 seems really steep. I'm starting to realize that perhaps i need a psychotherapist to deal with my deep rooted issues - I think everything else would just fall into place. May be money better well spent.
[–]wondorous 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup! I think that’s the right idea. Less money and likely more beneficial for your deep-rooted problems
[–]daddysgotanew 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You’re not doing anything wrong, there’s nothing to change. The correct course of action is to go after women who show interest. When you go after ones that aren’t or shoot out of your league thats when the real pain begins. Learn to be happy with a 4-5 (if you’re a 7 or below this is your league) or stay single
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hmm I don't agree with this. I don't think the girl I want is out of my league. I think I am undershooting. And I don't necessarily mean in the looks department. 7 or 8 is where I want to be. On paper, every thing a woman would want, I check the box.
What I'm finding is I'm bad at sales and bad at the initial contact - I don't sell myself well. EVerything after that is fine.
[–]daddysgotanew 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“On paper, everything a woman would want, I check the box”
Yea, me too
Guess how well that has worked out for me…
Well, maybe you need coaching! haha :)
[–]PontusOfMars 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dating coaches and their rackets. I'm surprised she didn't charge $3000 for a single weekend like most coaches do.
If I ever did coaching at that rate, it'd be for no less than 6 months, and would target everything. Fashion, fitness, finances, goals, etc.
You need to ask yourself why are you scared to go for the girl you want. See a therapist as well, as you are already getting laid and they'll be cheaper.
[–]itsthechamp2022 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Con
[–]Artist-in-Residence- 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had a meeting yesterday and she charges $3200 for 3 months. This includes 3 online meetings per month over the course of the 3 months and then unlimited access to an app where we talk through there and make plans, etc.
What a horrible revenue model. It's just a one-off sales and then the client is unlikely to make further purchases
A better revenue model would be a subscription model that charges $150/month then $10K for a destination weekend getaway retreat holiday programme in places like Greece a couple of times a year.
Let's face it, people who use dating coaches will probably never improve nor get better because what they're really looking for is a mentor or a friend to listen to their problems and give them affirmation lol.
[–]Tater_otter 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Give yourself small challenges around taking initiative with women you find attractive. Get small wins (by starting small) and build from there.
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
With these kind of expenses I always feel like if you get the results you want, in hindsight the money is nothing and totally worth it. But if you don’t it’s a crazy waste. How do you estimate yourself I mean there is obviously a ton of work let’s say years of active work to do are you willing to do it, are you willing and able to get out of your comfort zone and actually change things ? If your answer is yes and you just want to pay for a faster route I’d say go for it if she is legit. If the answer is no and you are looking for that magic pull shortcut, I think you need to first really get a good perspective on your problem and how big it is and where and what kind of guy you want to become and how much effort that will take
[–]Dizzy_Paramedic6216 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dating coach won’t help with your insecurity and anxiety and fears. These are problems that maybe a therapist can’t help also. But you can help yourself by understanding the fear is irrational and by not acting you automatically losing and by trying you might lose some and might win some.
Dating coach sounds like a good scam business .
[–]Candid_Low_926 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re welcome to contact me to discuss online therapy at reasonable rates.
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[–]LordCarnifex 27 points28 points29 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Felixisnext 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rivetcitymayor 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SexCoachShannon 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SexCoachShannon 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-Godly 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]-Godly 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CherryTasteLexi 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CherryTasteLexi 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dark_helmt8 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dark_helmt8 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Powerful_College_424 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Powerful_College_424 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IndianRedditor88 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wondorous 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]wondorous 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daddysgotanew 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]daddysgotanew 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]helpMeOut9999 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PontusOfMars 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]itsthechamp2022 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Artist-in-Residence- 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tater_otter 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dizzy_Paramedic6216 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candid_Low_926 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link